To think if there's something you don't want your kid to eat you say when asked not bitch about it later.

[BeansOnToast56]

So today I looked after my brothers girlfriends daughter for the day as she was working and her child care fell through. She is a relatively new girlfriend of about 9 months but due to covid I haven't really spent much time with her or her daughter but my brother is happy so that's ok with me. My dd is a year younger so it was no skin off my nose to have her here for the day, the girls played nicely and entertained each other. I asked her mum when she dropped her off if she had any allergies, things she didn't want her to have or things she didn't like, mum said she ate most things. She had lunch and dinner here so mum really should of said if there was things her daughter wasn't allowed to eat. The girls had bagels cream cheese, grapes, carrot sticks for lunch, crisps in the afternoon and chorizo pasta bake for dinner with peas and garlic bread with chocolate ice cream for pudding. Well my brother has rang kicking for because the child is vegetarian and her mum is very upset I didn't respect that, how the bloody hell am I suppose to know this? I asked mum and she didn't say her reply was she eats most things, no mention of her being a vegetarian at all. AIBU on to think this is mums fault and if she didn't say how was I suppose to know, her dd is 7 if that makes any difference and she didn't tell me herself.

This sounds so strange surely there has been some kind of misunderstanding? Are you sure she didn’t say ‘she’s a vegetarian but she eats most things’ and you somehow missed the beginning of the sentence? Or she believed your brother had told you?

I wonder if the mum thought the little girl would mention it and perhaps the girl didn't as she didn't realize chorizo was meat?

It's clearly important or she wouldn't be making such a drama out of it so even if she assumed you already knew she should have mentioned it anyway just to be sure.

Ridiculous! I can’t believe your brother didn’t apologise

She's an idiot. I'm veggie since I was 8, I would never expect someone to assume my DD is (She's not anyway). We also have allergies in the house, on the rare occasion someone else is feeding my DD, I'm very clear with what she can't have and offer to provide packed meals if it's too much trouble for them to accommodate. I would not be apologising, in fact I'd be waiting for an apology from the pair of them. You did nothing wrong OP, hopefully when they calm down they will be ashamed of their ridiculous behaviour.

Apologise - for not being bloody psychic. I would have lost my shit if this is how they thanked me. Given brothers GF hardly knows you she was so lucky for you to have stepped in.

Reminds me of the French exchange student we had once. The party were late arriving, 10pm Saturday, OH went up to school with our daughter to collect 'ours' and he phoned me before they set off back, 'She's vegan', this thirty years ago when I had never heard the term! Mad call to veggie friend to ask what she could have! A very difficult, and long, two weeks. After the return visit I asked daughter what the girl ate and apparently being vegan had only started on the ferry, her mother put food out and told her to eat what she wanted, nothing different.

This is the recipe I used, I add a handful of chopped cherry tomatoes and use more cheese on top.

Thanks, looks great, I’ll give it a go!

I was about to say what Petunia said, that the mother probably thought the boyfriend had told you about them being veggie.

The boyfriend has either made a mistake and thinks he told you when he didn’t, or is trying to hide the fact that he didn’t tell you so she doesn’t shout at him. Seems like he’s a bit of an arse tbh as either way I reckon he’s the main problem here.

The mother presumed you knew they were veggie. That’s why she kicked off. She must have thought you deliberately fed her child meat. You can understand her reaction if those were indeed the circumstances.

Administer a swift boot up your brothers behind as he’s a numpty.

She’s being totally unreasonable. She should have said. Also you did her a massive favour. Food sounds great! Can I come for the day!?

Does your brother think the girlfriend told you she was vegetarian and you are lying?!

I would actually ask my DB if he's supposed to have told me they're vegetarian and forgot to do so, because actually, this is so batshit that it simply has to be a breakdown in communication. If it's not, then your DB needs to know that he's chosen to be with someone bonkers.

It's her responsibility to let you know she's a vegetarian. I wouldn't offer to look after her again.

I'm vegan, my DD4 eats a pescatarian diet along with her dad.

If this happened to us and someone gave my daughter meat in these circumstances I would not be angry at all! Especially if I hadn't mentioned it!!! Additionally if someone I didn't know too well was having her for the day I would offer to send food because her dietary needs are different to the current 'norm'

Her problem not yours.

Obviously she is unreasonable but also can I come to your house for the day please!

It was her responsibility to tell you. She didn’t so it’s no fault of yours that she is beside herself. Some thanks for stepping in and helping her out.

Is there a possibility that your brother is doing a bit of a...kick the cat? As in:

DB's GF & DB home after a v long day, asked what DGF DD's had for her tea & little one has said sausage pasta bake and her mum has started cursing herself for not mentioning that she's a veggie and turned to DB to say "argh thought you would have told DSis at some stage..." and instead of just accepting they're both a bit grumpy & tired, DB has phoned you to kick the cat and blame you instead when the GF is just mildly PO'd because they forgot to mention it?

If her DD is a delight, I'd be hard pushed to believe the mother is a walking terror. I'd play devil's advocate and say maybe your brother is blowing this up? Or could it be a case where his GF and her DD are veggie because of their culture maybe and therefore thought this was obvious? Still doesn't explain why she wouldn't say it but I suppose we can all be flustered and forgetful at times.

Unbelievable ! You did a really nice thing, and you asked about food !

I would be forgetting my brother and tackling the gf direct !

A 7 year old is in Year 2 or 3 at school and will know fine well if they're vegetarian when ordering school dinners.

Entirely not your fault, OP.

Your brother is a total nob for expecting you to apologise instead of sticking up for you.
They are both massively ungrateful scrotums for treating you like that when you did them a huge favour.

Your brother owes you an apology.

Well you aren’t a mind reader are you, so she can piss off and get someone else to look after her next time. Boils my blood shit like this. Ungrateful cow.

I'm not sure what they are thinking to be honest the whole situation is a joke, apparently I should of known, but neither of them bloody said a word.

Your brother probably told his girlfriend that he has gone vegetarian too and so she assumed that you all knew. Also probably going for bacon butties at every opportunity.

My brother is not veggie, he had a bacon sandwich here last week on his way home after a night shift.