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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not talk to MiL until after I give birth?

151 replies

Lucidas · 23/05/2021 16:55

I’m due to give birth in two weeks. Have just come off a phonecall with a a sobbing MiL pleading for me not to give birth until the 15th June when they’ll have finished the renovations on their new home and have properly moved all their stuff in. Because apparently she doesn’t want to miss a single moment of the baby being here, but she also won’t be able to come and stay with us until she’s finished all the work in the house. So now it’s my job to ‘please please please hold on’.

Have mentioned that at my last scan, the baby was measuring very large (had to have a fasting blood glucose test to rule out diabetes), and that I don’t want to go over. Completely ignored.

OP posts:
autumnboys · 23/05/2021 16:58

I think it would be extremely reasonable to cut contact until after the birth. And tell your DH any conversation he has with her needs to be out of your earshot and you don’t want to hear about what she has to say. Good luck Flowers

smallandimperfectlyformed · 23/05/2021 16:58

How exactly is anyone supposed to guarantee anything like that? You poor woman having to deal with such irrational behaviour from your Mother in Law. I hope your husband is supportive Flowers

otterbaby · 23/05/2021 16:59

God how dramatic! Focus on you and your baby, 100%!

19lottie82 · 23/05/2021 17:00

She is 100% batshit.

Lunariagal · 23/05/2021 17:00

Not sure it works like that.

HumphreyCobblers · 23/05/2021 17:00

Just don’t talk to her . I couldn’t be dealing with that shit when heavily pregnant. You poor thing.

Shoxfordian · 23/05/2021 17:01

She’s ridiculous
Ignore her

VimFuego101 · 23/05/2021 17:01

Do you actually want her to come and stay?

RubyGoat · 23/05/2021 17:01

Is she religious? Tell her to pray for a miracle.

ILoveYou3000 · 23/05/2021 17:01

I'd be eating the spiciest food I could get my hands on followed by a whole pineapple, going on a 10 mile walk followed by a marathon sex session to do all I could to get things moving after that display of selfishness.

Have you actually invited your MiL to come and stay once baby arrives or has she invited herself @Lucidas

Bassetlover · 23/05/2021 17:02

Does your MiL understand pregnancy and how babies are born? How on earth can you guarantee when you will give birth? Unless you're having an elective caesarian, which I'm sensing you're not. She is being over dramatic.

Thislittlefinger123 · 23/05/2021 17:02

How ridiculous? Did you say that you won't be having anyone to stay at first anyway? Or going to stay anywhere else. I'd have laughed I think.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 23/05/2021 17:03

Does she understand you have no control over when baby is born??

Soubriquet · 23/05/2021 17:04

What are you supposed to do? Stick a cork up there and hope for the best?!

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 23/05/2021 17:04

DH needs to set some clear boundaries about visiting and staying once the baby is born

He needs to do this now.very clearly and firmly no budging and do this before you give birth

katy1213 · 23/05/2021 17:05

Does she expect you to have some sort of zip-lock fitted?
She's barking mad - let your husband deal with her.
(However, do make sure your baby outfits match the new carpets/curtains/ sofas because you don't want a Instagram failure. )

Original poster
Lucidas · 23/05/2021 17:05

She honestly has me questioning my sanity. I’m glad there’s a consensus. DH will have to curtly field all calls.

With my last pregnancy it was ‘I have a feeling you’re going to give birth a few weeks early like me’ (based on zero evidence!) and huge expressions of surprise every time she called and the baby wasn’t there yet. In the end I gave birth 1 day before my due date so not even late 🤦

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 23/05/2021 17:05

Presume by being your MIL she's actually given birth ? Must admit before I gave birth I thought I could just 'pick' the best day and could stop labour if it was the wrong day (summer baby, didn't want him to be youngest in school) I look back now and think I must have sounded delusional.......

Misseasteregg · 23/05/2021 17:05

Ffs she sounds like a right pita

RuggerHug · 23/05/2021 17:06

How did you manage to not burst out laughing?

Merryoldgoat · 23/05/2021 17:07

Wtf? How is that supposed to work?

EL8888 · 23/05/2021 17:08

Ignore ignore ignore. She sounds like a right pain in the arse. Your husband needs to set down boundaries and field her crazy phone calls

TaraR2020 · 23/05/2021 17:08

She sounds nuts.

Topseyt · 23/05/2021 17:09

Is she joking? If she isn't then she is pretty naïve or thick when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth.

Ignore her. She's being ridiculous.

Babyiskickingmyribs · 23/05/2021 17:09

She’s barking mad clearly. Ignore her. Ring a friend who will laugh her head off at the complete ridiculousness of telling a pregnant woman to ´hold on’ and give birth according to what would be convenient for them. You are completely reasonable to ignore her. Get your DH to field any phone calls until the baby is born. Decide how you want the first meeting between baby and inlaws to be and get DH to tell her what’s going to happen.