To not talk to MiL until after I give birth?

[Lucidas]

I’m due to give birth in two weeks. Have just come off a phonecall with a a sobbing MiL pleading for me not to give birth until the 15th June when they’ll have finished the renovations on their new home and have properly moved all their stuff in. Because apparently she doesn’t want to miss a single moment of the baby being here, but she also won’t be able to come and stay with us until she’s finished all the work in the house. So now it’s my job to ‘please please please hold on’.

Have mentioned that at my last scan, the baby was measuring very large (had to have a fasting blood glucose test to rule out diabetes), and that I don’t want to go over. Completely ignored.

So last time you gave birth too late and this time you’re giving birth too soon! Lunatic sums it up.

Good God. I'd be being induced tomorrow

Shes’s being ridiculous. I think sometime people have selective memories or are just so wrapped up in their own affairs.

My step-mum and Dad seemed to think something simmilar when I called them at 39 weeks pregnant to make final arrangements for them to look after DD1 during the birth.

“oh yes I know we said we would, but you said it would be the 18th... How do you mean you can’t be sure? Oh I’m afraid we have a weekend booked at a B&B in Devon that week. Yes I know we have been abroad 6 times already this year. Well you must ask them to induce you on the 18th then.”

Next time I saw them is when they invited themselves to the hospital on the day DC2 arrived. after long, long labour and EMCS... and DH spending more time at home with DD than with me.

The relationship has been really damaged as a result.

People can be selfish arses OP. Definitely avoid her till after you baby arrived.

congratulations and best wishes for you and the baby.

Oh god lord! You can’t make a baby stay in ffs, it’ll come when it comes! Tell her to stop being so rediculous, then ignore her until at least the 15th even if the baby does come before then 😂

I can’t explain enough how much this sounds exactly like my MIL.

Absolutely reasonable. My in laws said we shouldn’t be having another baby when I was pregnant with my last, yet they had two more children than me !!!
So they didn’t meet that baby until we were home, and she was asleep on their first visit so I didn’t offer to let them hold her 🤣🤣🤣

Sounds like she is trying to make it all about herself!

Continue to contact her, as normal and tell her not to be so overdramatic.

She sounds like hard work. I’d be having all the pineapples, spicy curries, and sex to encourage baby to come ASAP.

And she can't even blame her behaviour on pregnancy hormones

Go and bribe the renovators to run over, preferably by about 18 years.

Good grief. What weird and selfish behaviour from you MIL.

She is deranged. What are you supposed to do if you go in labour? Close your legs? Tell the baby to wait until grandma is ready?

Has this woman given birth? Fucking unbelievable.

Remind her it's not a fart, it's a baby. The concept of 'holding it in' does not apply.

My in-laws, sil, mil, and bil didn't speak to me for weeks because I was induced the day before the anniversary of their dads death.
They weren't speaking to him, hadn't for years, and the fact I needed to be induced for the benefit of the baby apparently didn't matter and I should have refused Incase he was born on the anniversary.
He was in the end born the day after, but that's the first thing any of them said to me. Thank god he wasn't born the same day or we'd all have really struggled.
This is the same family that told me I was selfish for missing the start of a birthday weekend because I had to bury my nan. Unfortunately Dh wants to remain in limited contact with them all, but I admit if it was up to me I'd never see any of them again.
Don't make the same mistakes as me and accept this behaviour op - stand up for yourself x

How you or your DH didn't blurt out "You know MiL/Mum, it's not all about your at this moment in time" I don't know.

Literally sobbing?! Is she quite alright?

You poor thing. What an absolute muppet she is.

My mother in law was similarly dramatic. She was deeply personally offended and constantly crying because we taught our child a language she didn't know. Our child is deaf. We taught him sign language. She chose not to learn. This is all apparently my fault for 'encouraging him to be disabled just to spite her.'

We don't speak to her anymore.

Good luck with your MIL. You've already identified the need for some boundaries and it sounds like you have DH's support.

Dear god, no wonder women get PND, with all the absolute crap we have to put up with when we should be able to concentrate on growing a person....

OMG she must be an alien. Perhaps on her planet babies are born on order.

Oh dear. Imagine being self centred and delusional enough to sob down the phone at a pregnant woman and demand that she doesn't give birth til it's convenient to you. 🙄

Even if it weren't a ridiculous idea, it's not like you can just hold the baby in. Bloody hell.

Who on earth are the 3% who voted YABU??? Go and find some speed bumps to drive over OP. And pray that MIL’s renovations get seriously delayed.

Why even give this a second thought? It’s clearly not something you have any control over so just ignore her.

@19lottie82

She is 100% batshit.

This

@Inastatus

Why even give this a second thought? It’s clearly not something you have any control over so just ignore her.

Apart from anything else, it's a brilliant batshit MIL story that will entertain people for years to come. I'd just refer the discussion to her son and let him deal with her.

Tell the midwives at your next appointment. They'll enjoy laughing with you about your ridiculous MIL. Tell all your friends.

But just laugh, ignore her and let her son deal with the histrionics.

"Dear MIL as you obviously know a way to stop labour when it starts I think you are a total cow bag for not sharing this with the world so that 1000's of families can be spared from premature births. Bye"

When I started with my second I had to phone ILs as they were looking after PFB.

FIL asked how long they'd need to stay & was most put out that I couldn't answer precisely

Well, being a mother herself she knows that's out of your hands!. I'd just laugh and say ''I'll do my best!''

Yes, it’s batshit but I don’t think it’s funny really. She sounds utterly self-centred and lacking in empathy. She’ll carry on being like that unless she has reason not to.

I wouldn’t let her come to stay at all personally. Who needs an ego that massive around after giving birth? I’d specifically get DH to explain it’s because she stressed you so much at the end of pregnancy. She’ll think twice about her batshittery next time. And yes, most batshitters can control themselves - they just choose not to.