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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Harry/Meghan are coming out of this worse than the Royal Family?

1000 replies

Bassarid · 23/05/2021 06:01

Is it just me?

OP posts:
Toilenstripes · 23/05/2021 09:13

Only in the U.K. It’s a shame how many of you are buying in to the tabloid narrative.

custardbear · 23/05/2021 09:13

@AIMummy

I think the RF shot themselves in the foot by stripping titles away from H&M simply because they stepped away from a very toxic situation especially the military one that he actually earned as that limited their earning options. They should have found new roles for them abroad, yes I know it's not following tradition but you have to adapt to new challenges and look at the long game. It was very short sighted. I think they were advised very poorly.
I don't think he earned that,anyone in the forces doing the same sort of service he did would never receive those honours - they were bestowed upon him because of his part in the royal family He walks away from that job and he doesn't get to keep all the privileges of that job - like everyone else who leaves a job - you start again in your new job with nothing but what that job gives
Diverseopinions · 23/05/2021 09:14

If as Royal Family members you are private, then press reports can't really critisize what you say off-script, at home, when not working. The press don't know what you've said. So discretion is a fine defence against being trashed in the media. You may be trashed, but it will be for your public and working behaviour, utterances, omissions. As these are just work aspects, and all governed by rules and protocols and the company ethos, you can't really identify intimately and personally with your performance or any criticism levelled at it. That helps you to remain calm and confident.

The royal situation isn't unique - it applies to many high- profile bosses. If the manager of a top- six Premier League football team complained about the abuse fans shout at him, or the things the press write, then people would say: ' But what about the club? What about its next crunch match? What about it getting into Europe? What about the fans who've paid for season tickets? What about our club's history? The answer would be to quit, if you don't like the pressure, but not to moan about your own position when your goal is to serve the club.. And the same goes for boss in the public eye. Alan Sugar could stop doing ' The Apprentice', if have didn't like TV pundits rubbishing his style. Being scrutinised, and in your eyes unfavourably reported, tends to go with being important or famous. Luckily, fame doesn't usually come instantly, so you have time to take it in, adjust, or step off the roller- coaster if you feel it is getting too much for you.

Harry could have said on becoming engaged: " We'll take this key moment as an opportunity to step away. Meghan and I will be getting married, but we don't want to work in the Firm, as working royals. I've had mixed feelings for some years now - well, ever since I turned 18, and that's why I went off the rails, a bit. It's a good time to reassess, and I don't want to put my new wife through what I went through."

If Harry has known for some time that the royal machine stifles you, why bring his wife into it then? Didn't he talk about his misgivings to her when he got engaged? Isn't there a disconnect in what he is saying now?

I also don't get why the Sussex's leaving message said they were going to carve out ' a progressive new role' within the Royal Family, if it was the case that they were escaping it to find peace. I don't understand why, at a vulnerable moment in their lives, they set about patenting things relating to their future role. I don't understand it because, it wouldn't be what I would do in their shoes, but I suppose we are all different.

The leaving message, in March 2020, said that they would continue to support the monarchy. Is that really the case now? Do Harry's podcasts really do something positive for the British Monarchy?.

It is all right to change your mind and not to be 100 per cent consistent, but you have to expect that audiences will say to themselves: " What's the message going to be next year?" and " Is this just what he's feeling at the moment?" Once audiences feel that speakers are expressing what they feel in the heat of the moment, instead of references a deep- seated purpose, their utterances begin to sound like any old family ding ding and a massive amount of washing dirty linen in public.

I hope the royals in England don't stoop to airing their private complaints and feelings because, frankly, they are doing a job and are not being paid to shine the spotlight on themselves.

And discretion really is the better part of valour. And none of Harry's assertions about what Prince Charles did or did not say to him will be triangulated by other testaments, so, like all tittle tattle, the claims will eventually fizzle to nothing in the public consciousness.

user1471538283 · 23/05/2021 09:19

Harry is making a huge assumption that the reason his mother died was that she was with someone who wasnt white which has all manner of accusations. She died because the driver was pissed up, she didnt wear a seatbelt and they were chased. But you cannot court the media and then not want it.

I get that neither will ever get over it. I get that the BBC were wrong. But Harry's constant attempts to be relevant are insufferable. I thought he wanted out? Oh maybe not this out eh?

the80sweregreat · 23/05/2021 09:20

Someone mentioned their former home in the UK. To be fair , they have agreed to pay back the money for the renovations to Frogmore cottage. If it's true or not or was just said in order to make themselves look good I've no idea but I hope they have done. His brother is keen on having money for renovations to their properties as well.
I think that Meghan was a bit shocked to discover she would have to work as well as being around for the Royal duties. I blame Harry for not explaining that they are a long way down the pecking order in Royal terms and only minor royals : she probably felt a bit used and fed up once it became clear they would never be as important as his brother and his wife and only wheeled out for things they both probably felt was a bit beneath them at times. She didn't look happy out in Africa on that tour. It wasn't what she thought it would be like.
The idea of being part of the royals , yet not living in the UK , was never going to work either really. I bet she gave him an ultimatum, it's me or them ( plus where they live now is much more glamorous than somewhere close to Heathrow airport)

SilverGlitterBaubles · 23/05/2021 09:22

@sunnyblackwidow I agree, it's sad to watch H bearing his soul to the world to the detriment of his relationship with his family. If he really wants to heal things he should speak to them personally not turn it into a media circus. If his wife had her heart in the right place she wouldn't be encouraging this. There is also a pattern here that MM has so easily distanced herself from her own father who made mistakes but clearly loves his daughter and just struggled with the unwanted media attention.

queenofarles · 23/05/2021 09:22

Oprah only started Speaking up against Harvey Weinstein after all the accusations came to light , she was friends with him! I’m sure she will get rid of Harry soon.

DavidTheDog · 23/05/2021 09:22

What puzzles me is I can't figure out what they wanted to achieve. There is no 'aim' that you would hear and think, "Ah, yes, now all of their decisions make sense", if you see what I mean?

SilverGlitterBaubles · 23/05/2021 09:27

@DavidTheDog

What puzzles me is I can't figure out what they wanted to achieve. There is no 'aim' that you would hear and think, "Ah, yes, now all of their decisions make sense", if you see what I mean?
I also wonder about this. I think money obviously but also that they want to remain relevant so probably promoting their brand.
whiteroseredrose · 23/05/2021 09:27

They wanted financial independence, so Netflix gave them $millions. Have they actually produced anything yet?

If you want to be self financing you need to actually do something for the money. I'm sure Netflix will want their pound of flesh eventually, they are not a charity.

But what are they actually qualified to do? Harry has spent his life in the army with everything scripted, Megan was successful in her way, but in one TV series, and no film follow ups despite Harry's embarrassing hints. So really a couple of nobodies in a town with a lot of great talent.

Children's books? Really? Having a child doesn't mean that you can write children's literature. Look at Sarah Ferguson's awful Budgie the Helicopter. Not exactly a best seller. Self help books? Well hardly, as neither have shown that they are capable of self-help. Podcasts? About what? They are not experts in anything.

It will be interesting to see where they are in a couple of years.

BeaLesshasty · 23/05/2021 09:29

They seem to be exactly where they want, doing what they want, having their dc, making lots of money, free to say what they like. They seem to have come out of itj ust grand

Then why is Harry coming across as so wretched? I think he wanted a wife and children but not to be estranged from William, Kate and the rest of his family.

He created the Invictus games, was working with African charities ... now he's a Prince on the payroll with no real role and he's cast himself adrift from anything of substance.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 23/05/2021 09:29

There will also come a point when they will have aired all their dirty laundry so much that people will just switch off.

Cacacoisfarraige · 23/05/2021 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ncgy · 23/05/2021 09:33

They wanted financial independence, so Netflix gave them $millions. Have they actually produced anything yet?

A show about Invictus is the first thing I believe.

This show he was just on which this thread is discussing was cocreated by him

Puttingouthefirewithgasoline · 23/05/2021 09:35

Sunny, Harry was "broken" years ago after his mother's death and that wasn't a stand along traumatic event, that was after his own parents excruciating interviews, public break down of their marriage, his dad's very open obvious love for another woman, his mother's pain and trauma, and no one really for him?

The avalanche of hideous press after her death that took a good decade to fade away, was she pregnant, imagine Harry having to ask someone "is it true, was my mummy pregnant"??? The endless inquest, lurid details, accusations... Paul Burrel trial after he filled a large storage area with items he took from her apartment?
That trial was massive! The Queen stepping in to say, oh yes, I remember, this is what I said he could have Confused

Hmm

He's been broken and seems to have had no support at all.

And who is the royal family, the only one is the Queen really who embodies what royal perhaps means....

Who are the rest of them? Prince Andrew? The Prince Micheal now in something dodgy to do with PUtin?
Prince Edward Confused
William... Kate?

queenofarles · 23/05/2021 09:37

But what are they actually qualified to do? I wonder if the podcasts were not that popular and they are bringing out the big guns with their interviews, it’s seems like very last resort type of thing.

ncgy · 23/05/2021 09:37

Someone mentioned their former home in the UK. To be fair , they have agreed to pay back the money for the renovations to Frogmore cottage. If it's true or not or was just said in order to make themselves look good I've no idea but I hope they have done. His brother is keen on having money for renovations to their properties as well.

They have repaid it & it was almost half the cost of Williams renovations. I certainly think there are things to criticise PH for but the double standards confuses me. Plus the sexism & racism that blames M for everything.

ncgy · 23/05/2021 09:39

@Puttingouthefirewithgasoline how could you come out of that not damaged?

Puttingouthefirewithgasoline · 23/05/2021 09:41
  • invictus games is fab, what's William achieved apart from excruciatingly painful zoom calls where he sounds totally removed from the people he's talking too?

William only sounds sincere when he talks about his experience of the loss of his mother and her traumas and his coping with that, William needs to stick to what he knows and this is his area, supporting young people through the loss of a parent.

I don't think William is coming out of this well at all and seems rather arrogant.

Megan is it appears the only woman in that immediate family who can hustle and make money and do things, she was never going to fit but the odd thing is, most people on the outside could see that, it's strange this wasn't visible from the inside and maybe this is what Harry means by finally seeing the light?

ncgy · 23/05/2021 09:43

I hope the royals in England don't stoop to airing their private complaints and feelings because, frankly, they are doing a job and are not being paid to shine the spotlight on themselves.

And discretion really is the better part of valour.

Are we talking about the same Royal Family? Keeping things private & discreet?

LittleBearPad · 23/05/2021 09:43

I hope that he now steps back, the new baby is due soon so a perfect time to hunker down away from the press. He seems to be scratching a scab. It can’t make him happy.

StoneofDestiny · 23/05/2021 09:44

Of course none of this family drama and dysfunction would be of interest to any media and therefore would be unknown to us if there was no royal family.

The royal family, who expect everybody to bow and curtesy to them as a superior set of beings, are a useless and money sapping institution that is embarrassing to anybody with a modicum of intelligence. We pay them, they feed us family titbits and drama, and we are expected to revere them. You couldn't make it up.

ncgy · 23/05/2021 09:45

We pay them, they feed us family titbits and drama, and we are expected to revere them. You couldn't make it up.

What confuses me is that people throughly buy into it!

Puttingouthefirewithgasoline · 23/05/2021 09:47

Ncgy

People have short memories or younger posters Dont remember the interview from Prince Charles and we all know about his strained relationship with his dm and df and we all know intimate details of his life, how he didn't want to go to gordenstun, the bullying, his problems, how he wanted to be camila s tampon, the royals really are a living soap opera.

ncgy · 23/05/2021 09:48

I'm in my 30s, seeing the thing about tampons scarred me! 😆

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