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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Harry/Meghan are coming out of this worse than the Royal Family?

1000 replies

Bassarid · 23/05/2021 06:01

Is it just me?

OP posts:
101kids · 23/05/2021 08:10

I think Harry is being exploited now. It’s an absolute train wreak.

Armi · 23/05/2021 08:11

[quote SakuraEdenSwan1]@Bluntness100 no I mean he is speaking up about what he has experienced and it's not all as perfect as it seems. [/quote]
Surely no-one who has followed the Royal Family over the last thirty years or so thinks they or their lives are ‘perfect’?

I think he’s behaving appallingly. No matter what perceived grievances he has, to behave this way in public is awful. I just can’t get past the fact he’s knowingly upsetting his grandmother, who is recently widowed and whom, by all accounts, has always done everything she can to smooth his way and provide support. They previously seemed to have a lovely relationship - the mike drop Obama video was really sweet.

I am stunned that Harry seems to have no moral compass and no sense of what is the right thing to do. This can’t be laid at Meghan’s door (and I am no fan of that madam) because this is someone showing us that the sense of fairness and what is right which is ingrained in most of us is lacking entirely from his emotional make up.

MyOctopusFeature · 23/05/2021 08:11

@shamalidacdak

OW and MM have done an absolute number on Harry by monetizing his mental breakdown. I think he has lost it and should be put on suicide watch. As for MM, she is always hustling and scheming and it wouldn't surprise me if she used this documentary as evidence in a future divorce.
I agree with this 100%.

OW has always been bitter towards the U.K.

Bluntness100 · 23/05/2021 08:11

And to say his pleas of help for M were met with silence and neglect is odd considering he originally said that he was too ashamed to ask his family for help

Agree ans that’s the other bad thing, they keep contradicting themselves. Either he didn’t ask for help or heasked repeatedly, it can’t be both. But he has said it was. And why would they ask for help, it wasn’t palace staffs job to get Meghan therapy. They are perfectly capable of picking up the phone themselves. Harry can’t even get it straight how long he’s been in therapy. And has given answers ranging from eight years to three.

So basically he was trotting off to his own therapy sessions whilst all this was going on?

Maireas · 23/05/2021 08:12

I thought that the Oprah interview would be it. Very clear, potent and damaging.
Watching the Apple broadcast takes it further- They were neglected, his life was terrible. He had to go on a tour of Nepal when he was exhausted. He needs proper help, not air time to list grievances, however valid they may be. I can't think that it helps him much? Maybe those of you that understand it more would disagree, but private sessions should surely be better?

Doris86 · 23/05/2021 08:12

Yes absolutely M&H have not made themselves look good out of this, and yet they keep going with it.

Complaining about the media attention in the Royal Family, yet now they keep voluntarily giving interviews to the media. Airing their dirty linen in public, whilst the royal family remain dignified in their response.

If they expected to gain any public sympathy from this it’s not working. They need to stop digging.

FangsForTheMemory · 23/05/2021 08:13

The only people coming out of it badly are people like you, who have nothing better to do with their lives than read the tabloids.

Heyha · 23/05/2021 08:13

It's the hypocrisy that gets me. We don't want publicity and yet we are actively courting it by going on chat shows. We won't show you Archie's face (or much else) apart from that choreographed 'pap' shot of her carrying him and his luggage squarely on her bump which coincided with another child's birthday. We don't want anything to do with being royal oh apart from the income, titles and security. We're going to make a series about mental health to help people when in actuality it's just another opportunity for Harry to bellyache about his own struggles without offering anything constructive for his audience.

I don't doubt that he has suffered and wouldn't belittle his perception but it does seem a very warped state of affairs. I think she's seem a genuinely damaged man and is either trying to 'fix' him or squeeze him for what she can get. Undecided as yet, I thought she was driving everything but the recent interviews make me think perhaps not.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 23/05/2021 08:14

Harry is being ridiculous, undignified and plain embarrassing.
How he can do this to an elderly woman whose husband has just died I do not know.
His mouth has just opened and hasn't shut again since.
I too could rant all day about my miserable and frankly abusive childhood but I chose to move away, a long way away from them and rebuild my life.
Nobody wants to hear my grievances, i don't want to hear them over and over I just want to rebuild my life with some dignity.
This endless public over sharing achieves nothing. I tell all to my counsellor and nobody else and just get on with my life.

Thesearmsofmine · 23/05/2021 08:15

I think they are very out of touch. To me Harry is coming across as a spoilt rich kid, pissed off that he didn’t get to do what he wanted so is throwing his toys out the pram(plus it keeps the money rolling in).
I don’t doubt things were dysfunctional as he was growing up. Work through that, talk in private with a therapist, don’t sell your dirty laundry to the press, get help for any issues, he certainly has the privilege to be able to afford access to the best therapy,
I can’t help but feel in 20 years time, how will Harry’s own children feel about having all of this out there? About how Archie will feel about his parents interviews?

chaosrabbitland · 23/05/2021 08:16

@AbsolutelyPatsy

it is interesting how harry is not naming his mother or the queen in his criticism
hes thick, but not quite that thick he will start on the queen as he would know its game over then i should imagine and those titles will be getting removed for definate , hes careful to not actually push it quite that far yet , i doubt he will ever say anything negative about his mother , its clear he idolises her
cronk23 · 23/05/2021 08:16

I find the whole thing uncomfortable to watch. We'll never know how much is true because the Royal Family won't speak out but I suspect there's right and wrong on both sides and it's not all as one sided as Harry & Meghan make out.

The part that saddens me the most is even though Harry has not said anything damaging about the Queen the timing of this is terrible. She's probably still grieving for her husband and it doesn't matter if you are a fan of the royals or not it just feels wrong to be doing this so soon after his grandfather's death. I suspect there's people on his team making a lot of money at the royals expense and I believe he's being exploited and not advised properly.

SueSaid · 23/05/2021 08:16

'Agree op and I think it’s very clear what you mean and a few folk are being deliberately obtuse.'

Indeed.

They have overegged the pudding and H sticking the boot trying to get a reaction is becoming more and more desperate. The RF's dignified silence is the correct response, not this awful oversharing. Does he think he's in an episode of Dynasty or something.

Mh problems are serious and should be dealt with sensitively, with empathy and privately. He is not raising awareness of anything just getting his own back because he didn't get his own way.

tttigress · 23/05/2021 08:16

@tara66

Harry has real anger issues which he cannot control and which his therapy has not resolves but maybe what he is saying and doing IS his therapy but I hope he is not paying too much for it!
I imagine therapy is actually making things worse for him, he seems to be very bitter without considering the enormous amount of opportunities he has had.

I get the impression he wants the lifestyle without any responsibilities.

Maireas · 23/05/2021 08:16

Also Harry, for goodness sake, if your pregnant wife is suicidal, contact her obstetrician, midwife, her mum... don't just get her to dress up and go to a function.
It just sounds like they were both at sea.

Gucci1961 · 23/05/2021 08:19

At first I thought that they could sell their 15 million house and buy a 5 million pound house and live off the ten million, also, maybe work for local californian charities. A 3 day a week fundraising role would give H purpose. Or a Harry's Boot Camp. And, stop commenting on every issue. Lie low.

I couldn't understand it. I thought, it's in their hands! The power to turn the narrative around.

But they can't live in a cheaper house, they can't live off ten million, they can't just let the narrative settle. They need a mansion, they need millions, they need to control the narrative.

SueSaid · 23/05/2021 08:20

'Also Harry, for goodness sake, if your pregnant wife is suicidal, contact her obstetrician, midwife, her mum... don't just get her to dress up and go to a function.'

Yes and don't say publicly she wouldn't do it because it would be too hard for him as that is really damaging for those who have lost loved ones this way. Those in that very dark place do not think logically.

sst1234 · 23/05/2021 08:22

Harry’s not the sharpest tool in the box, and now he’s adding to it being with the ‘woe is me’ act. Meghan of course made her way from Z list to A list on the back of that so for her, on balance it will work out just the way it was intended. Harry, however, will pay the price of his self indulgence and forever be the outsider when he returns after his investigate divorce.

Gucci1961 · 23/05/2021 08:23

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Flowerlane · 23/05/2021 08:23

To me it looks like Harry is having a breakdown right in front of us. He needs help urgently.
Everyday more is being said that should be dealt with privately. He also is very aware the Royal Family can not speak out and the last few months have been the especially sad for the Queen with loosing her husband. Where is the respect for her?

Understand he wanted a life away from the UK and it’s media circus etc but he hasn’t stepped away has he? He is just going through American media instead which I think is worse.

Both Harry and Meghan seem very out of touch of what is going on in the real world and are coming across as very spoilt rich kids.
Its going to backfire on them in the long run definitely.

Maireas · 23/05/2021 08:24

Very true JaniieJones.
During this pregnancy Harry says he was woken by her weeping into her pillow because of the response/comments about Oprah. No alarm bells?

Dalamalama · 23/05/2021 08:25

If Harry and Megan ever split up what is he going to do?! Surely he'll never be welcomed back into the royal family or even the UK.

He could end up a very lonely man.

Griefmonster · 23/05/2021 08:28

I have no interest in the royal family but have been sucked in to this story by the very public exposing of deeply dysfunctional family dynamics (of which I have experience).

Harry has real anger issues which he cannot control

I don't agree with the above statement at all. I see a man coming to terms with his childhood and generational trauma publicly. I find his words very clear and thoughtful and I think he presents his story in a very measured way.

I have also seen his words willfully misrepresented and I can only imagine that those refusing to engage with what he is saying either have their own agenda (maintain the status quo at all costs) or are blinded by their own family dysfunction. It seems shocking to them that he is "stepping out of line" . It's the same people who have sympathy for Meghan's father. When he couldn't be a more classic narcissist father if he scripted it. He's fucking text book.

I wish more people would get good therapy.

How they make their money and to what extent they court attention is a different issue to me.

Firkinhavinalaugh · 23/05/2021 08:28

What’s really sad is that H and M wanted to leave, announced they were leaving without prior discussion and the RF said - if that’s what you want we respect your decision but wish you weren’t making it - they went public first, there was no opportunity for negotiations and if the RF had said cool, no probs, you don’t have to work but you keep all the goodies EVERYONE on here and in general would have been furious. The press would have been incredibly unpleasant and they’d have been compared to Fergie and Princess Pushy. Can you imagine the vitriol in the press?
The RF were actually protecting them, it’s just H appears not to see that.

WRT The Diana interview, anyone can see she was mentally vulnerable, Bashir knew that and capitalised upon it with the fake information. She was paranoid and he made her more so! Even in that situation she didn’t spout too much vitriol to him about the RF. She was an understandably hurt woman, who married a man who had always been in love with someone else. Her family are equally to blame for encouraging this whilst she was still a teenager.
It was very different back then, we have moved on a lot! And to be fair the RF have moved with these times, slowly and more cautiously but they have moved :).

Ultimately though - William’s press statement was polished and clean, however we see it,he did see it from inside the firm and his family.

At this point Harry is looking tragic and mentally unwell - almost in a spiral. I find it distasteful that the press and printing this. They did the same to Diana and should have learnt by now!!

Gucci1961 · 23/05/2021 08:28

I think that ''throwing yourself up on the cross'' manoeuvre is very effective manipulating one individual. My mother has had great success with it.

They have both done the I"M THE VICTIM HERE routine but while that successfully manipulates one individual in a personal relationship, it's not possible to use that manoeuvre on the entire public.

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