To think Harry/Meghan are coming out of this worse than the Royal Family?

[Bassarid]

Is it just me?

@IcedPurple

Before Meghan i think everyone around him managed to talk him down and smooth things out. I think she has massively encouraged him and validated every paranoia, every suspicion. This feels amazing to Harry as he suddenly feels 'understood'. It is so damaging though, I fear it won't end well.

Ever since meeting her, he's been alienated, step by step, from everyone who cared about him. Now he's stuck on the other side of the world, surrounded by those who do not have his best interests at heart. He only has her. It's a classic controlling relationship.

This too. It’s almost textbook.

It worries me that he’s seemingly has NONE of his former friends now in his inner circle, people who he has known for decades, who has fought alongside in the army, went to school with, grew up with, all now cut off in such a short space of time.

If this was a poster on mumsnet saying how they’d met this amazing new partner, their friends and family had been cautious but they are just jealous, because this amazing person has ‘opened their eyes’ to how awful their whole family and friends are, so now you were going to go NC with them ALL, despite having had no real problems getting along with them before. In fact, had been very close to them and had praised them for their supportiveness. And then that you were also now leaving your home country to live in your new partners home country, where the only people you know are your partners friends...

We would all be ringing those alarm bells so fucking loud and telling that person to run for the fucking hills.

@VeilofWinterFog, I agree with that 100%.

'I often wonder if the RF feel like that and are desperately trying to keep a door open to him.'

I think they are. They're probably biding their time hoping he actually gets a decent therapist who gives him tools and strategies to deal with his resentment and his possible guilt at his overreactions.

@amusedtodeath1

I don't know maybe she thinks she's helping him and is simply misguided. But I often wonder if the RF feel like that and are desperately trying to keep a door open to him.

I suppose it's always easier to blame the spouse than the relative.

He's certainly not "right" though.

Helping him by alienating from his family, his country and the only life he knows? I don't think so.

They thought they were the 'stars' of the royal family and could basically name their price. They were told no and are now hitting out from spite and rage.

And @IcedPurple

Still waiting for Roussette or RainyDay to tell me how H&M are showing their much-lauded idea compassion to his family...

Their relationship could be seen that way, all the hallmarks are there, but tbh most of the relationships I know, if you ask a man's mates or family they would say similar things.

*If this was a poster on mumsnet saying how they’d met this amazing new partner, their friends and family had been cautious but they are just jealous, because this amazing person has ‘opened their eyes’ to how awful their whole family and friends are, so now you were going to go NC with them ALL, despite having had no real problems getting along with them before. In fact, had been very close to them and had praised them for their supportiveness. And then that you were also now leaving your home country to live in your new partners home country, where the only people you know are your partners friends...

We would all be ringing those alarm bells so fucking loud and telling that person to run for the fucking hills.*

I was going to say the same. If this was on the 'Relationships' board and especially if the genders were reversed, this would be seen as a textbook emotionally abusive relationship. Especially if that person had a history of discarding 'friends' and had no contact with almost their entire family on both sides.

@amusedtodeath1

Their relationship could be seen that way, all the hallmarks are there, but tbh most of the relationships I know, if you ask a man's mates or family they would say similar things.

Really?

I don't know anyone whose wife has insisted they move to her home country within 2 years of marriage, destroying what seemed to be reasonably good relations with his entire family in the process.

I also think that the RF are keeping the door open for him. And that's why they haven't responded to any of the allegations or removed titles.

Well you will just have to wait CallMeHendricks

I'm not having my arse handed to me on a plate for my reply, thanks.

I have my views on it.

I have no intention of handing anyone's "arse" to them on a plate. It was a genuine question. I just don't see how anyone could justify it, but I am curious to know if there is any sort of argument.
So, I will continue to believe they're full of hypocrisy then.

There is an excellent channel on narcissism on YouTube by a self styled "ultra narcissist" called HG Tudor. He has written some books I believe on NPD. He does videos on lots of narc celebs and he has been doing a fascinating series on Harry & Meghan. It's v interesting

@Rainbunny

Well whatever happens with H&M in the future, we now know one thing for absolutely sure - they will never, ever become working royals again. They went all in on burning any remaining bridges and so now they are truly going to have to do whatever they can to make pots of money without the safety net of ever returning to the UK or getting any funding from the RF.

To be fair to H&M, they must have known that the Oprah interview followed by Harry's latest speaking out would be the final nail in the coffin, so they must be feeling prepared to go it alone. (Although a cynical part of me is wondering if Harry's counting on a payday from HMQ's estate when she passes).

So I expect more of Harry speaking out wherever he can get an audience. His cruel family and mental health journey will become a stale topic at some point though so perhaps things will quieten down.

HM's probably changing her will as we speak!

Up to you what you believe or think.

It wouldn't be only you taking issue with what I say would it?

@randomkey123

I also think that the RF are keeping the door open for him. And that's why they haven't responded to any of the allegations or removed titles.

They probably know divorce is pretty much inevitable sooner or later.

But even if they take him back as a family member, I don't think he will ever be a working royal again. Too much water under the bridge.

'to tell me how H&M are showing their much-lauded idea compassion to his family...'

It is very selective virtue signalling compassion that they advocate. To be used when shining lights on worthy causes only. Not, for the far more complex issue of addressing dysfunctional family dynamics.

Someone in LA should tell them the road to happiness starts with acceptance, forgiveness and reconciliation. All this bile and rewriting of history must be very damaging to their chakras/auras or whatever.

Maybe not to that extreme IcedPurple but yes it's a common thing. The bride's family gain a son, the groom's family loses one. And all the "you can't come out, again, the Mrs wears the trousers" bollox from the groom's mates.

@Harrydresdenssidekick

A bit off topic but does anyone know why her mum or her uncle didn't walk her down the aisle?

Not as dramatic as Charles walking her down, a much better bit of theatre for the cameras. It's only on here that I've seen any reference to others of her family being there, surely they would have been sitting in the choir with her mother rather than packing it with people chosen to look good.

I do think there might be something manipulative going on but it doesn't necessarily have to come from one side, they're co dependant. It's not healthy but I'm not sure Meghan is entirely responsible.

@amusedtodeath1

Maybe not to that extreme IcedPurple but yes it's a common thing. The bride's family gain a son, the groom's family loses one. And all the "you can't come out, again, the Mrs wears the trousers" bollox from the groom's mates.

A lot of that type of banter is just sexist nonsense blaming a woman for the fact that a man's priorities and might change after marriage and especially after children.

Not at all the same thing as a man being surrounded by family at his wedding and then, 3 years later, running off to the other side of the world and making a career out of slandering his family on television. Charles walked Meghan down the aisle and Harry was all "Thanks pa!". But now he's responsible for messing up poor innocent Harry?

Roussette, I will not be held accountable for what some people post on other threads. Or this one, for that matter. And if you post on numerous threads on this subject, as it's fair to say that you do, you must surely expect that you're going to end up repeating yourself to a different audience.

I don't hold you accountable, but this is a public forum. And this thread has very entrenched views.

They met in July 2016.
Had a long distance relationship
Got engaged in November 2017
Married May 2018
In Jan 2020 they announced they wanted to leave.
By March 2020 they had gone.

So Harry went from having a close circle of loyal longstanding friends, and a family he publicly described as supportive and close (even in 2017 he described the family as ‘wonderfully supportive’ of him and Megan) - to him living on the other side of the world, no longer on speaking terms with his family or former friends. Going further - actually setting out to cause them harm and distress.

In the space of 45months.

WTF has happened here.

"surely they would have been sitting in the choir with her mother rather than packing it with people chosen to look good."

But it kind of back-fired though, didn't it? It didn't look quite so good when people began asking wtf Oprah and the Clooneys were doing in the Quire. Especially when it became known (not least by George Clooney saying so) that they'd only met the couple once.

I think that IF Meghan had felt able/willing to invite some members of her family (OK, probably not Samantha!), then people would have respected that and her loyalty, however "ordinary" they might have seemed in comparison to some of the rest of the star-studded congregation.