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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Harry/Meghan are coming out of this worse than the Royal Family?

1000 replies

Bassarid · 23/05/2021 06:01

Is it just me?

OP posts:
DeRigueurMortis · 23/05/2021 23:58

@mermaidsariel

Does anyone else think William looks awful these days? He looks pasty, has dark circles under his eyes and generally looks like he’s going through the motions. He doesn’t look particularly well or happy either. I wonder what sort of effect all this is having on him.

Not really no.

He must (like H to be fair) have felt both vindicated and angry about Lord Dyson's report into the Bashir interview.

His personal (video) statement in response was extremely dignified and I think he came across really well (and did not look in any way unwell).

In fairness I thought H's written statement was also good (though a different style to his brother - specifically different not better/worse) and had been the only press statement he's released since the exit that I thought appropriate in both tone and message.

HagenDaz · 24/05/2021 00:00

Is Omid Scobie a mumsnetter?

BeaLesshasty · 24/05/2021 00:06

They arranged special clothes for him, arranged a special flight, took care of everything so all he had to do was get on the plane

But why didn't Meghan take her fiancé to meet her dad? Simple good manners.

DeRigueurMortis · 24/05/2021 00:07

@HagenDaz

Is Omid Scobie a mumsnetter?

Pretty sure he's not.

I might not agree with them, but having read the excerpts of Finding Freedom in the press and his tweets, the pro-H&M posters on here are far too articulate and erudite to be Scobie.

user1477391263 · 24/05/2021 00:21

None of his comments have been "trashing and slagging off" and none of them have been anywhere near as bad as what Charles has said about his upbringing, what Charles said about Diana, what Diana said about the family, or what William has said about his mother.

I don't understand why Harry's cheerleaders keep saying this as if it were a kind of "gotcha." Part of the reason why Harry's actions are making me roll my eyes are precisely because he is repeating the most foolish behavior of both his parents. He really takes after Diana (impulsive and not very bright) and has Charles' constant need to vindicate himself and inability to shut up--though Charles has mellowed quite a bit with old age in this regard.

Harry needs to break the cycle by sorting out his family grievances privately and then getting on with his life. Staying away from the media for a good long while would be an excellent start.

DeRigueurMortis · 24/05/2021 00:21

@BeaLesshasty

Bloody good post, DeRiguer

I wish Oprah had done a decent interview and asked them about that ridiculous exit statement.

And also ... why Meghan and Harry didn't show Mr Markle some courtesy and go and meet him, rather than expecting him to show up and walk his daughter down the aisle in front of millions of television viewers.

I don't think H&M every really thought Thomas Markle would be there.

Well Oprah.....

Much was made of the fact that H&M didn't get paid for the interview and that OW could asked any questions she liked....

So the lack of "lazar" focus she's displayed in countless other high profile interviews was indeed decidedly odd.....

...until we now find out that she and H have been collaborating on this Apple TV series....

...what better foray into producing your own content than having the Queen of media to guide you....free interview my ass.

Not everything is paid for in cash...

ohforarainyday · 24/05/2021 00:29

Serenster I have literally no idea what on earth you're babbling about. What "private individual with no right to reply"??

Are you referring to proven liar Thomas Markle - who has the world press willing to print every word he says?

Or to proven liar Jason Knauf, who is best friends with one of the most powerful men in the British media and is currently CEO of a major royal foundation?

Neither of those men are in any way voiceless. They both have a level of power and influence that's a million times more than any of us.

But sure, keep pretending that a random anonymouse poster sharing an opinion on Mumsnet has more of a voice than someone who has the power to phone up a tabloid editor and get anything they want on the front page.

You more you make up deranged nonsense and rant and rave about celebs being 'voiceless', the more you throw personal abuse around at anyone who likes Harry and Meghan, you simply destroy your own credibility.

I'm sure I'm not the only person wondering where all these usernames have popped up from, or what their agenda is in attacking anyone who is remotely critical of the royal family.

ohforarainyday · 24/05/2021 00:32

It would be a bit odd if William had t gone in all guns blazing when accused of cheating on his wife.

Except the original newspaper article which caused William to "go in all guns blazing" did not in fact accuse William of cheating on his wife.

In fact it did not mention William at all....

So why did he feel the need to "go in all guns blazing" over an article that didn't mention him and contained no such allegation?

Andylion · 24/05/2021 01:10

- I genuinely don't know and it's one of the things about the Oprah interview that I do consider hinky and possibly not true, because to me those two statements do not square up.

You don't know what you meant by those statements you posted, yet you posted twice that Meghan was being pressured to go back to work?

ohforarainyday · 24/05/2021 01:17

Mr Markle said he didnt get an invitation. If you dont get an invitation to a royal wedding you don't go. Maybe he lied. Who knows.

Actually I just checked and you've gotten mixed up. Thomas Markle never said he wasn't invited. What he actually said was that despite being asked to be in the wedding party, he didn't receive the big fancy paper scroll that Doria received. If you read the full quote it's clear he's referring only to the actual physical piece of paper, and that he knew full well he'd been asked to be part of the wedding party and that (at the time he gave the quote) had every intention of going to the wedding and being part of the wedding party.

Here's the full quote:
"At first I thought, 'That's OK, because I'm part of the wedding,' but I would have loved to have had an invitation to put in a frame."

He wasn't talking about not being invited at all. He was just talking about not receiving the physical piece of paper. That's all.

I don't know why they didn't send a physical paper invitation. Maybe it's an etiquette thing since he was FotB and not a guest. Maybe they chose to invite him over the phone/email instead of paper because they were worried he'd sell a paper invitation to the press. Maybe the paper invite got lost in the Mexican post. Who knows.

The point is he was invited and his own words make that clear.

No lies. No manipulation. Just a minor misunderstanding.

bluebell34567 · 24/05/2021 02:49

*And also ... why Meghan and Harry didn't show Mr Markle some courtesy and go and meet him, rather than expecting him to show up and walk his daughter down the aisle in front of millions of television viewers.

I don't think H&M every really thought Thomas Markle would be there.*

agree with this.
she didnt want him there. she didnt want him to meet H in the first place and they didnt meet, havent met yet.
all the 'they bought him suit, plane tickets, etc' was for screening.
he wasnt 'really' invited.
he had an operation and she never asked how he was doing. and then talk about ''compassion'' and stuff.

StartupRepair · 24/05/2021 03:27

Meghan's assertion that the royal family told her she had to work as there was no money to support her is patently untrue as it did not happen. She was taken on a a working royal and clearly given access to a lavish budget for haute couture.

SunscreenCentral · 24/05/2021 03:39

@ohforarainyday

The Firm is utterly toxic and corrupt. Nothing Harry or Meghan do as individuals can possibly compare to institutional corruption that treats immediate family and children as disposable tools to prop up an institution.

The entire system exists to support the Monarch and the Heir at all costs - everyone else is dispensable - and the RF exist in an uneasy alliance with the British tabloid press (Buckingham Palace regularly giving secret unlisted parties just for tabloid editors) where they have an unspoken agreement to cooperate with the tabloids.

The real scandal has nothing to do with one basically unimportant whiner going on a podcast to talk about his mental health issues, but corruption that goes to the very deepest parts of how our country is run, which is basically government corruption and the lack of a free press. The RF exist as a prong of the corrupt relationship between the press and the government.

For example, when Matt Hancock was found guilty, the BRF released some trivial story about Harry and Meghan, and the obedient Tory press made sure that story was the one plastered all over the front pages, and not Matt Hancock. Clearly a major British MP who is directly responsible for the UK's COVID response being found guilty of breaking the law and engaging in corruption that killed thousands is a FAR more important news story than "some random celeb kid mouthed off again". It's sheer corruption and proof we have no free press. The BFR were asked to provide a distraction and obediently provided one, and the Tory press agreed to downplay the Matt Hancock story in exchange for being given the splashy royal story instead. That's the deal. That's always the deal.

It's a fact that the RF have given negative stories about Harry to the press in exchange for covering up negative stories about William literally since Harry was an underage teenager. Multiple journalists have confirmed it. The Spare exists only to support the Heir and that means being a sacrificial lamb when needed.

The entire reason the BRF launched such a smear campaign against Harry and Meghan in the first place was to sweeten the press and keep the press on their good side, after William's overly aggressive behaviour and extreme legal threats to cover up his (alleged) affair with Rose Hanbury and prevent the British press from covering it.

The BRF DO have the power to muzzle the press when they want to. Look at the Queen publicly complaining about Sophie's treatment after Sophie tried to sell access to royals - she literally issued a press release asking the press to leave Sophie alone. Look at Kensington Palace issuing official press denials and complaints over stories about Kate's hair and beauty treatments, and the extreme rage and legal threats KP issued over the Kate-bashing Tatler article (threats that resulted in only one paragraph being removed, a paragraph about Rose Hanbury). Look how the Queen made a public show of support for Andrew, and how other scandals (Kate being exposed as never having visited several of her patronages even once since she became patron, royals breaking Covid rules, Beatrice starting a relationship with a man right after he dumped his fiancee who's just given birth leaving her homeless) have been kept out of the press.

Look at the corruption within the Palace. The Palace forced Dan Wootton's BEST FRIEND SINCE SCHOOL Jason Knauf onto Meghan as her press secretary. Jason Knauf was leaking private information to the tabloids about her the entire time, he's the one who gave the Thomas Markle letter to the press and lied that he'd co-written it (had to do an about face at the last minute to avoid perjury) and he's the one who faked the bullying allegations. He also hired his best friend Melissa Touabti for a role she'd never done before, she was fired for gross misconduct (Harry set a trap to find who was leaking, it turned out to be Melissa, and it was later discovered she'd lied on her CV) and despite being fired she immediately walked into a plum job as nanny for a Tory billionaire whose sister is a Daily Mail journalist.

Meanwhile Jason Knauf is rewarded for stabbing his employers in the back and regularly breaking his NDA by being given the plum 'top job' as CEO literally running William and Kate's entire foundation. Which strongly indicates the BRF knew and instructed him to spy on Meghan and to leak damaging info about her to the press, because Royal staff have to sign watertight NDAs - breaking an NDA by leaking private royal information is an automatic firing offence. Why would Will and Kate reward a known liar who sells Royal secrets to the press with such a plum promotion, unless he was acting under orders?

Not to mention the regularity with which private conversations (eg Kate and Meghan's argument during the dress fitting) which are leaked to the press - people seem to take it for granted that the tabloids will print this stuff because people treat the BRF as a soap opera, but no one ever questions how exactly the tabloids get this information. Look at the dress fitting argument - someone had to actually phone up a tabloid reporter and say "Meghan and Kate had an argument today" and that someone clearly was not Meghan or anyone on her team. So who was it? What's the name of the Leaker?

What is the name of the person or people who have leaked Harry's every movement to the press for the past three years? It's obviously not anyone on Harry and Meghan's side, because all the leaks have been negative and all the leaks stopped the second they left.

Then there's the fact William and Kate's own press secretary's partner was caught (copies of bank statements published in Byline Times) accepting two payments totalling £4k from a bank account belonging to the Sun, to sell stories about Meghan.

Corruption from top to bottom.

Finally. Bravo 🙌🏻

There is So Much UTTER Bullshit on this thread and I'm so glad you've put it some fact based info out there. Kudos

bluebell34567 · 24/05/2021 03:39

@StartupRepair

Meghan's assertion that the royal family told her she had to work as there was no money to support her is patently untrue as it did not happen. She was taken on a a working royal and clearly given access to a lavish budget for haute couture.
so true.
DeRigueurMortis · 24/05/2021 03:43

@ohforarainyday

It would be a bit odd if William had t gone in all guns blazing when accused of cheating on his wife.

Except the original newspaper article which caused William to "go in all guns blazing" did not in fact accuse William of cheating on his wife.

In fact it did not mention William at all....

So why did he feel the need to "go in all guns blazing" over an article that didn't mention him and contained no such allegation?

The source of which was The Daily Beast 😂

Oh come on Rainy...

You post diatribes on these threads contradicting yourself as much as H&M wrt what are "acceptable" sources and "truths".

milveycrohn · 24/05/2021 04:38

Press coverage of Meghan was positive at first. The negativity came from her family, who rightly or wrongly felt slighted.
Here I will add, that there was a lot of negativity on social media and comments, 'below the line', and in many cases, comments on articles were turned off because of this.
Then, they started taking private jets, while at the same time lecturing us about our carbon footprint, and here there was some negativity.
Baby Showers are not part of the British tradition. Here it used to be considered 'bad luck' to buy the pram before the birth. I will admit that baby showers seem to be the norm for modern couples. But flying to the US ( again private jet) DID receive some negative publicity. But most of this was on social media, which is not easily controllable.
Their tour of Africa actually received lots of positive press coverage, and I actually thought she had 'turned a corner ', but then she gave a bad interview in front of a really poor area, on 'no one has asked how I am' etc, and then made a complaint/sued or similar just as the coverage was good.
Personally, I think this all stems from the poor treatment of her father. Frankly, Harry should have met him at some point before the wedding. I realise that living in Mexico, this could be difficult, but I am sure they could have flown him up while Harry was in the US.

LuvMyBubbles · 24/05/2021 05:09

@DeRigueurMortis

My view changed when they published that ridiculous "exit" manifesto.

I was sympathetic about them wanting to have a different life outside the RF until I read it and realised that's not what they wanted at all.

In return for renouncing the sovereign grant (£25Ok a year) and paying back the renovation of Frogmore (when they were able £2m I think which they have now done I believe) they wanted:

  • to retain the funds from the Duchy of Cornwall (over £2m p.a.) which were specifically provided to cover the expenses of being a working royal
  • earn a living monetising the "Sussex Royal" brand
  • Have U.K. taxpayers fund their security (at a cost estimated at more than 5 times its current cost as they spent their life flirting between the US and U.K.)
  • break with protocol on the Press agreements wrt the royal rota
  • keep their titles and patronage's
  • pick and choose their own "progressive" agenda and engagements

On these threads I keep seeing people sympathetic to them saying in effect "well it's not their fault they were forced to flee a toxic family".

The thing is they DID NOT want that. They wanted very much to remain part of the Royal Family. Their statement was full of plaudits for the Queen and supporting her work.

They very much wanted to keep the "perks".

They wanted to use the platform being royal gave them to amass vast personal wealth.

They just didn't want to do the shitty bits of being royal any more.

Glamorous premier where you can tout for business - yay!

Meeting with Brenda in Grimsby - not so much....

This narrative of theirs about the toxic royals ONLY emerged after they were told that they could stick their ridiculously entitled exit manifesto where the sun don't shine by both Charles (re: the Duchy grant - if you leave the family firm you don't get to keep the salary) and the Met (if your not a working royal and not based in the U.K. then no, we are not in a position to continue to provide free security - fuck all to do with titles because remember they still have them).

In a world that's gone to shit in the last 18 months their self indulgent pity party and "fuck you" to Charles because he refused to keep paying "pocket money" wins no sympathy from me.

They've sitting pretty in a $14m mansion. Have a new baby on the way. Have deals worth reportedly $125m with Netflix/Spotify.

Life doesn't get any better than that - but rather than use the position to earn a reputation and some credibility of their own and actually "do good" and demonstrate some real compassion (rather than just talking about it in sound bites) they are just frittering that away in a public narcissistic hissy fit.

The phrase "the best revenge is a life lived well" is one the pair of them have obviously never heard of.

Love it!
mermaidsariel · 24/05/2021 05:29

@LuvMyBubbles

That’s the best summary of the situation I have read so far! Absolutely nailed it.

mermaidsariel · 24/05/2021 05:30

Sorry it was @DeRigueurMortis

catinboots123 · 24/05/2021 05:33

@ohforarainyday you literally cut and paste that entire post onto every single Royal family thread - all said with such authority and 'knowledge' - but what evidence do you have??

georgarina · 24/05/2021 05:40

@DeRigueurMortis thanks for writing this out...exactly what it seems to me.

They wanted to stay in the RF, keep all the good bits and do away with the annoying ones.

When that (obviously) wasn't accepted, they had a tantrum - which is what this is currently.

It's nothing to do with mental health or altruism. It's anger at being told no.

mermaidsariel · 24/05/2021 05:47

Yes, they are like a pair of spoiled toddlers.

SteppinOutwithMyBaby · 24/05/2021 05:51

@milveycrohn "Yet when Charles and Diana went to Australia, they took William (then a baby) with them."

And wasn't this the first time that the heirs had ever flown together? Before that, didn't they travel in separate planes in case of an accident? That, at least, is the impression that the Australian press gave at the time.

DolphinFC · 24/05/2021 05:57

Megan and Harrry's aim is to build a successful media career in the US. It's going well.

Bluntness100 · 24/05/2021 06:52

I think he’s angry, really angry he’s in the position he’s in. He never wanted to leave the royal family and I think he is furious and deeply hurt that he was stripped of his titles and patronage’s and wasn’t supported to make his own money. I think he thinks if they were better supported from the start he’d not be in this position.

Thats what this is about.

It was always going to come to this. They were never ever going to settle down and be working royals, they had much bigger plans.

From the early commercial negotiations they were taking before they even married, the trademarking their brand, , Oprah at the wedding and their guest list of A list stars they barely knew, flying off on private jets, they never wanted to do the role of working royals, they didn’t want to do the duties they had to, even the African tour was clearly under duress and they didn’t wish to do it,

The issue was what they wanted and what being a working royal is, were completely incompatible, but they couldn’t and wouldn’t accept it.

But now instead of saying ok, we can just get on with it, make our money, be a listers, fly on private jets, they are spending their time selling their fury and hurt to the highest bidder, because they never got what they wanted and Harry feels like he lost it all when he was stripped of his titles etc.

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