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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Harry/Meghan are coming out of this worse than the Royal Family?

1000 replies

Bassarid · 23/05/2021 06:01

Is it just me?

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 23/05/2021 11:35

@IrmaFayLear

I agree with *@ChicChaos* that a lot of families have a “Harry”. Their behaviour ranges from a bit tricky to severely problematic. Everyone has to dance around them or else they blow up. And, because as the old saying goes, “A parent is only as happy as their unhappiest child” they end up making their other dcs lives a misery by trying to appease the angry child. I say child, but they could be 50, and ime therapy only makes things worse and magnifies and fires up all their grievances.
Very true
Puttingouthefirewithgasoline · 23/05/2021 11:35

ohforarainy

Excellent summing up there, but can you post links to the journo who said the press always leaked to protect William over Harry?

queenofarles · 23/05/2021 11:35

proudboomer I didn’t know that!, It seems Diana really had a horrible childhood and perhaps suffered mental health issues from an early age.

EmeraldShamrock · 23/05/2021 11:37

I wouldn't include Meghan in it, she has been a victim of bullying by the press, the public, and in house too.
I do feel it is the wrong time for Harry to be focused publicly on his MH when the world is falling apart, there is no help for the normal person especially DC, most people have had a rough year -
all very enlightening if you can afford to fix it.

ncgy · 23/05/2021 11:38

It’s such an inconsequential story - pre-wedding and post-natal SILs upset one another. It’s not worth the fuss Meghan made of it in the interview. The RF’s approach is don’t comment and the story will go away. It works generally too

But this is one of the double standards, when the narrative is Ms fault it's fine & she should shut up about it. It was trivial & inconsequential & very common in the lead up to weddings but it was used as a stick by some to beat M with. But when she corrects it she's causing a fuss, being awful or it was still her fault someone. She can't do anything right.

CathyorClaire · 23/05/2021 11:38

Most people just think Andrew is a nasty pompous man with dubious sexual proclivities. They have no interest in him.

The furore over the TV interview after Philip died proves he's still on the public's radar.

At the moment there's little to say about him as most agree he's an unpleasant sleaze and things with the FBI are pretty much at an impasse. Interest will reignite once the Maxwell trial gets underway later this year.

CallmeHendricks · 23/05/2021 11:39

Oh come on, does anyone really think that the royal family were going to put out a statement saying, "oh, by the way, Kate made Meghan cry, not the other way round." Even if it's true? I suspect that they were probably both in tears and that Kate took flowers round as an attempt to smooth things over for the greater good. I don't follow Meghan's implied reasoning that the flowers were some kind of admission of guilt on Kate's part.
Can you imagine the flood gates of expectation of statements for every single petty thing that would follow if there was any official comment on it?
Ridiculous.

ncgy · 23/05/2021 11:40

Chic, well, the Harry in every family must have been treated brutally then and perhaps they need some slack cutting?

Any Harry's I know are generally a bit messed up because of their parents behaviour.

Puttingouthefirewithgasoline · 23/05/2021 11:41

Oh for a rainy day, that's some post to process there, where did you get all this information from, re Harry setting traps?

I totally agree with the asking "where" these leaks come from, because in the past it was from tapped phones wasn't it?

It all sounds astonishing, I hope someone does a film on this aspect.

Harry is absolutely well off out of this and yes It makes perfect sense to protect the monarch and direct heirs so one can see the conflicts

AbsolutelyPatsy · 23/05/2021 11:42

the whole press angle is appalling, no wonder Megan is so disliked,
we are just putty in their hands, i am glad i dont read the Mail

ncgy · 23/05/2021 11:42

Oh come on, does anyone really think that the royal family were going to put out a statement saying, "oh, by the way, Kate made Meghan cry, not the other way round." Even if it's true?

Why was the story even there in the first place though? We know that the RF does intervene with the press.

Myphone · 23/05/2021 11:42

@ChicChaos I have one too. Periods of deep depression, elation, paranoia, grandiose behaviour. Screaming phone calls of how evil and bad I am. When they are on one of these periods, there is absolutely no reasoning with them despite how calm you are. @Puttingouthefirewithgasoline, in my personal experience ‘my Harry’ has had a crap life but off the back off terrible terrible decisions made during the mentioned periods and diabolical mental health service. Despite decades of giving them slack, they still continue this path at any cost to themselves and people around them. ‘My Harry’ has experience about all you can get thrown at you, but in no way are they in the stable/solid position to be an advocate. If I were Meghan, no way would I let my damaged and fragile husband up on that podium to be slaughtered and torn apart.

JudgeJ · 23/05/2021 11:43

@EdithWeston

It's not a competition.

They've stepped back from The Firm, and are doing something wholly different.

Their 'wholly different' consists 100% of using their role in the Royal Family for their own ends, egged on by the likes of Winfrey etc. so they've hardly 'stepped back'. At the moment they're a cash cow but if they did totally cut ties their USP disappears, there's only so many times that you can rehash the same thing.
SueSaid · 23/05/2021 11:44

'Harry and Meghan are well out of it. I hope now they reevaluate and realise that whatever they do, the racist UK public won’t rest until they’re divorced or one of them is dead. It’s horrific to read the stuff that’s written about them.'

What hyperbolic nonsense.

'They are well out of it' yet he a vulnerable and seemingly miss guided man is currently being exploited by the US media. Riiiiight.

No one wants Haz miserable, many want him to grow up and do some self reflection, stop lashing out. Accept that the tragedy in his past needs moving on from. He isn't reliving the past no matter how much next expose reveals.

Puttingouthefirewithgasoline · 23/05/2021 11:45
  • the fact Harry is still here, sharing his truth and dropping truth bombs, surely shows money can't fix everything and can't shield everything.

Harry also has his senatable charity (sp) that he does to help local communities.

I have can't think of one thing William has done however? Well apart from his helicopter rescue job, that was such a short tenure.

In fact I'm convincing myself Harry is the better so called King.

But I think he's better off out of it.

Proudboomer · 23/05/2021 11:47

@Bluntness100

Diana was a multi millionaire. She didn’t need anyone to provide a home, she was not some skint person. She could afford to spend literal millions and millions on a home
She had the money to buy her own home £17 million in her divorce settlement but what she needed and wanted ( after all she asked her brother to allow her to live in the garden house) was family support and a place where she would be protected from the press and royal family who see thought through her paranoia were out to get her.

It isn’t like she was asking for his spare room in his home. It was a separate house on the large estate which she would have rented from him.

Bluntness100 · 23/05/2021 11:48

People have to remember these are not interviews Harry is giving to mental health charities to spotlight and support. These are interviews with Oprah he’s being paid millions and millions for.

And he’s only out of it because he was stripped of his titles and chucked out becayse he wanted to use his title to make as many Hollywood bucks as he could., mix with the a listers, fly around on private jets.

IrmaFayLear · 23/05/2021 11:49

No, the Harrys I know have a propensity to be messed up and will focus on anything or anyone to blame. My parents weren’t perfect, but quite ordinary and in many ways wonderful. Two dcs loved their parents; one dc when they were in their 40s decided everything the parents had done was substandard and responsible for sibling not fulfilling their promise. Basically they were moaning about having a modest sixties childhood and not an affluent nineties one. Therapy encouraged them to rage at us all, including my dying mother, as we had to confront the fact that we hadn’t eaten out of the Elizabeth David cookbook and had meat and two veg instead yada yada and had been to Swanage on holiday instead of Tuscany. All limiting her opportunities to be a great success Confused

JudgeJ · 23/05/2021 11:49

A quiet funeral away from the public eye would've been much better for both boys & any rational human being would not have denied them that!

This is totally true but it was Blair et al who pressed for the fully Monty, I think that the RF were caught totally unprepared and would probably have preferred to let the Spencers take the lead.

The media whipped up such a fervour with all the nonsense about 'Why isn't the Queen here in London, leading the sob-fest' when she did what most of us would have done if our grandchildren were in our home, she took time off.

ncgy · 23/05/2021 11:49

No one wants Haz miserable, many want him to grow up and do some self reflection, stop lashing out. Accept that the tragedy in his past needs moving on from. He isn't reliving the past no matter how much next expose reveals.

Why though? You don't know him or what he thinks, feels. This weird ownership, entitlement, judgement is obviously what he finds so claustrophobic.

SueSaid · 23/05/2021 11:50

'I have can't think of one thing William has done however? Well apart from his helicopter rescue job, that was such a short tenure.'

Try Twitter? there are frequent posts regarding what he is doing. Not glam, high profile Hollywood attention seeking events with celebs of course so you may have missed it.

LittleBearPad · 23/05/2021 11:50

@Bluntness100

People have to remember these are not interviews Harry is giving to mental health charities to spotlight and support. These are interviews with Oprah he’s being paid millions and millions for.

And he’s only out of it because he was stripped of his titles and chucked out becayse he wanted to use his title to make as many Hollywood bucks as he could., mix with the a listers, fly around on private jets.

Very true. He wanted to keep those titles, go to the big royal events, come back to the UK every month. It’s odd that London is now ‘triggering’.
Puttingouthefirewithgasoline · 23/05/2021 11:53

I don't think we can compare family Harry's to the Harry in question.

What family around him? He didn't have any?

His family was broken and spilt and at war, his parents battling out their lives in the media, and he was in an institution boarding school?

What family, there is no family unit so how can anyone with The Harry growing up, under knee roof along side them possibly compare?

LuvMyBubbles · 23/05/2021 11:53

@AIMummy

I think the RF shot themselves in the foot by stripping titles away from H&M simply because they stepped away from a very toxic situation especially the military one that he actually earned as that limited their earning options. They should have found new roles for them abroad, yes I know it's not following tradition but you have to adapt to new challenges and look at the long game. It was very short sighted. I think they were advised very poorly.
I don't agree, I used to love H&M but it's so hard too now. They couldn't just pick and choose which part of royal they wanted to be. They barely spent anytime doing it. I think if they gave it a few more years then I think a better compromise could have been reached instead of the tanty they threw. Im surprised they even kept titles!
JudgeJ · 23/05/2021 11:53

@HeadNorth

I think the current fiasco has just shown how well H&M did to get the hell out of here. I wish them luck.
'The current fiasco' is of their own making though. Had they gone to LA and lived a private life there would have been no fiasco.
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