Two week holiday, family room, no sex

[Timetheworldsaysicantafford]

We are looking to book a special holiday for 2022 to Walt Disney World - two young children, and after researching I think the best option for us would be a family room onsite rather than a villa with separate bedrooms. Husband is grumpy because that would mean no sex for two weeks. I'm frustrated because I don't see how that should be the main factor deciding this type of holiday?! Perspective needed!!

I'm interested to know how old the OP is and her kids.

By the time we were in our late 30s with a couple of kids, I don't think we were having sex more than once every couple of weeks anyway.
Too tired, too much other stuff going on.

Everyone here seems to be having lots of sex all of the time, but it's not what I heard from friends with young kids.

@TrifleCat

To be fair I think I should have included in my post that my DH is in the forces so we sometimes go for long periods without having sex, and I appreciate that my normal isn’t everyone else’s normal.

But I think that is what I was trying to say- sex isn’t the be all and end all of a relationship (or a good holiday!) a healthy relationship can go without it for 2 weeks and still be intimate and loving.

Unfortunately that's not the message I got from your post. You just came across as sneering tbh.

@thecatwithnoeyes

Just to add that it is a family holiday. He is part of that family and so has a say.

His only concern is when he is getting a shag though. There is having a say in the family holiday, fine, but when his only 'say' is his dick? No, that's not remotely 'family holiday' related.

How do you know it's his only concern? Are you a close friend of the op's dh? I'm just guessing you haven't been with them throughout the planning of their holiday?

im pretty sure a 2 week holiday without sex wouldnt break our relationship and we could manage it, but its not something id pay thousands for either or fly across the world for.
Id do it if I had to, but it sounds like a shit holiday.
Loads of people. Cartoons. Crowds, and nowhere to recuperate, and nowhere to have a shag if we were in the mood.

Hes not said dont go. Hes said he wants the accomodation with the seperate bedroom. Hardly outrageously selfish.

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

What a miserable shit. Can he not concentrate on making wonderful memories for his children instead of thinking about his penis? Just for 2 weeks ff's.

Ah the 'making memories' brigade has arrived

How do you know it's his only concern?
Are you a close friend of the op's dh?
I'm just guessing you haven't been with them throughout the planning of their holiday?

I took from the OP, which by the way, in case you missed it, it literally about this being his concern. I used the word 'only' because OP did not add any other concerns, which would have been relevant if there were any. So no, I am not a close friend of his but I am able to read a piece of text, follow and understand what it says/doesn't say.

The OP days his issue is with sex. The OP does not mention any other issue. It's reasonable to assume his issue is with sex.

Yes quite @JinglingHellsBells but on Mumsnet these threads usually draw out one specific sort of answers.

@SarahBellam

If i work my butt off all year and use up half my annual leave to go and look at 30 year old men dressed up as a mouse for two weeks then too fucking right I want a nice shag on my holidays. If you’re not into Disney it is REALLY hard work and two weeks sounds hellish. I did 5 days and it nearly broke me. It is his holiday too.

I've never seen the appeal of Disney land but this thread has beyond confirmed it for me!! It sounds like a gruelling, relentless hell of a holiday. To echo others, my holiday should be an upgrade on my normal life, the way it's being described on here, it sounds like a hellish commute, a 10 hour day on your feet and then returning to some poxy bedsit to collapse with exhaustion. No thanks

@Littlefluffyclouds13 couldn't agree more. I feel tired and grumpy just reading about it!

To echo others, my holiday should be an upgrade on my normal life.
My normal life doesn't include Broadway level shows, immersive attractions, top quality restaurants and quality time with my children without faffing about with cooking, cleaning and driving. That's the appeal for me

If we're tired we do a dark ride or show and sit down for an hour, or head back to the room to watch a bit of TV or go for a swim. It can be just like the other sunny beach holidays if you want it to be; the pools and facilities, particularly in the deluxe resorts, offer that experience as well, but with the best theme parks a 10 minute shuttle away too and hundreds of cheap shops and attractions down the road.

For me full on 2 week beach holidays sound boring but we're all different.

Two weeks in one family room with nowhere to put the suitcases nowhere to relax, no kettle, nowhere to put your dirty laundry. This will not be fun or relaxing. I've done WDW three times, it's great fun but absolutely exhausting. Please reconsider only having one room.

As for the sex, maybe it's not about her dh demanding sex but rather that some people show their love and reconnect with their partner through affection/ sex, maybe op's dh is that sort of person and he's disappointed that he won't be able to do that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Art of Animation is I suspect the way forward for the OP. Both an on-site hotel whose theming is perfect and has the kind of room you want

The other option OP depending on your budget is to rent DVC points and get one of the Villas on the moderate deluxe/deluxe resorts

If you know what you are doing it’s fairly easy to get the type of on-site room she wants

Consider this a divorce!
Badmotherlover splits from thecatwithnoeyes shock. 'Lack of sex and poor holiday choices were the deal breakers.' 😋💔

The main thing is OP that you are talking about the sex as a chore rather than something you are going to miss too.
Holidays normally allow couples to touch base too and spend abit more quality time together. Surely it’s also abit of a compliment that he wants some intimate one on one time with you. I think I would feel worse about my relationship if it didn’t even occur to him. Also if the kids are small and in bed fairly early the evenings are going to be long all in one room together regardless.
You are not being unreasonable for financial reasons but neither is he. If you reversed the situation would you be abit hurt or not bothered?

@Unihorn

To echo others, my holiday should be an upgrade on my normal life. My normal life doesn't include Broadway level shows, immersive attractions, top quality restaurants and quality time with my children without faffing about with cooking, cleaning and driving. That's the appeal for me

If we're tired we do a dark ride or show and sit down for an hour, or head back to the room to watch a bit of TV or go for a swim. It can be just like the other sunny beach holidays if you want it to be; the pools and facilities, particularly in the deluxe resorts, offer that experience as well, but with the best theme parks a 10 minute shuttle away too and hundreds of cheap shops and attractions down the road.

For me full on 2 week beach holidays sound boring but we're all different.

Top class restaurants? Friends describe the food as a 'bit weatherspoon' Nothing wrong with cheap pub grab but hardly top class

@Dustyhedge

There are obviously a range of opinions on here from: -* don’t go to Disney you fool, go to Boston * hotel sounds hellish go for villa * split it one week villa, one week hotel * hotel will be ok because you’ll be knackered * you don’t love your children enough because you think 2 weeks in a room might be a bit much...

I’m in the middle and would probably go half and half. Maybe experience the park with the hotel abs then do a week that is more chilled out in the villa. Personally I’d need a bit of down time for any holiday. It’s never good if you go back to work feeling like you’re knackered and need a holiday.

Disney promotes the patriarchy, but teaches no historical lessons. Disney has done so much to shrink and homogenize the Western cultural hegemony . They promote rigid sex roles, learned helplessness, and unrealistic ideals of beauty. There’s neither art nor culture, just festival. Florida has huge insects, snakes, iguanas, and alligators. The entire place smells like old sneakers. Florida is dangerous, violent, and peculiar. In New England, the heat and humidity, even in high summer, are more tolerable. Renting connecting rooms is relatively easy. It’s much better and no more expensive to call hotels for reservations than booking on Kayak. If you stay away from Block Island, Martha’s Vineyard, and Nantucket, rooms are cheaper. There is Six Flags near Springfield, MA if one must ride rides and see fireworks. More driving is involved, but you aren’t stuck in an artificial wasteland.

@ImaHogg

I just can’t believe so many people are saying it would be hell staying in one room for just 2 weeks with their own kids ffs! Your own kids. Is sex so important that you can’t hold off for a fortnight? How old are the kids? I can’t imagine Disney World would be much fun with very young children, it’s an absolutely exhausting holiday. The youngest I’ve been was 21 and that was great, no way would I have taken my kids under the age of 10, it’s horrendously expensive and they won’t even remember it. Kids are just as happy splashing about in a Spanish swimming pool for a fortnight.

You haven’t met my five year old.

@Poptart4

Sulking because he may have to go 2 weeks without sex would be a HUGE turn off for me. It's a once off 2 week period, he needs to get over it.

Yep my vagina just made the Windows shut down noise.

Maybe my kids were weird when young but we didn’t need to tiptoe around or sit in the dark after they had gone to bed when we had family rooms. Generally they were so buggered from their long day they flaked and slept soundly quite quickly. We just dimmed the lights and turned the TV off. We’d sit on the balcony or even just our bed chatting for an hour and share a bottle of wine and them we’d turn the TV on (low but audible) and watch a movie. Then I’d have a shower as I prefer nights on hold and we’d turn in ourselves. It was hardly a miserable existence.

I took DD at 5, she remembers loads. We went again when she was 8 and it was easier with the longer days but not quite amazing at age 5 when she believed every character was real.

I love Disney but two weeks on site is a lot, you will all be exhausted! A week on site and a week in a villa.

Wait.... y'all are having sex in the same room as your kids?

@Alfaix

I love Disney but two weeks on site is a lot, you will all be exhausted! A week on site and a week in a villa.

When you stay on site you get 14 days of tickets for the price of 7. If you go off site she would have to pay for the full 14.

I am a fan of staying on site. I wouldn’t without the dining plan though.

It’s a room to sleep in, I’m assuming you will be out doing lots of activities and hardly spend any time in the room. Surely it’s about the DCs having the Disney experience rather than him getting his end away. How hard is it to go without for 2 weeks. He must have gone without after each birth. He’s being entirely selfish.

I also don’t think 2 weeks all in one room is that big of a deal with young DCs. We only ever stay in 1 room. I’m actually dreading the DCs getting older and having to get 2 rooms, mainly due to cost, but we also like all of us crashing in the same room.

This is interesting because last time we went 7 days and 14 days park tickets were the same price regardless.
We can take or leave the sex and definitely not after a day in Disney parks. EPCOT. Every person comes out tired.