Is this dress OK?

[User72651]

Is this dress OK for my partner's mum to wear to my wedding (mother of the groom)? I just see a long white dress:

www.shopittome.com/sale/archived/abv6ad8eb88

I didn't consider my wedding day unimportant, nor "just a legal contract" (not in the UK so marriage isn't just about financial rights here as you already have them if you live together), but I really didn't care that my MIL wore a cream dress (not floral or patterned). I wore a cream dress and wouldn't have been upset if all the guests had worn cream as I didn't consider the enjoyment of the day hinged on my dress and whether or not anyone else wore the same colour.

If what the guests are wearing is more important than what the day means to the bride then I consider that bride to be marrying for the wrong reasons.

My thoughts entirely @Mandalay246.

It says not available so maybe don’t worry 😂

This is literally mind blowing to me. Why would you deliberately create conflict with the mum of the person you love over something so unimportant?

Having read some of the posts agreeing with the OP (including people declaring that wearing it would be 'just rude' or the poster who still 'can't forgive' her MIL for wearing black) I do wonder how some people get through life. Finding drama and conflict when there doesn't need to be any.

I cant help wonder why people are like this? Were they raised like this? Do they see any advantage in not being the kind of person who finds offence where clearly none was intended? Its a lot less stressful, trust me.

It's fine. My mum insisted on wearing a pure white dress and a hat with a brim about 80cm wide to my brother's wedding. She refused to listen. That was an attempt to upstage the bride. What you have shown is a pretty, tasteful summer dress.

It looks like a dressing gown.

@PastaLaVistaBBY yes, because clearly the only options are “too cool to give a fuck” and micromanaging everything down to your guests’ wardrobe. There’s no in between, and everyone who claims not to think like you is lying.

For the record my guests would have been welcome to wear a white ballgown - and a pleather mankini would have made my day. But I wore a red dress so apparently wedding etiquette completely escapes me.

I wouldn't even wear that as a guest to a wedding. It looks too casual and not very dressy up. Definitely not suitable for mother of the groom, she should be wearing something nicer. But up to her if she likes it.

In fairness she could wear any other colour or any other pattern but she selects one that is closely resembling what the bridesmaids will be wearing??
No, not a runner for me for that reason.

Not that it looks bridal, it doesn't.

Often I would say too white if someone has to ask but this one looks fine to me, it doesn't look like a true white and the print is massive.

I'm surprised at the "too casual" comments. I think it is a lovely dress. I think the right accessories would do a lot to smarten it up and make it look even less bride/bridesmaid-like. I'm not a fan of DM's with dresses though.

I’d be upset if my MIL wore this to my wedding.

To be fair @PacifyLulu ^^ this is why I mentioned self esteem issues. I didn't mean to offend, but that I how I read this comment.

One of the guests at my wedding wore a pair of blue and white striped jeans. They looked like pyjama bottoms. I wasn't offended, but the thought that crossed my mind was "I've dressed up for the occasion, why couldn't you?"

Its gorgeous! Damnit that it's not available to buy now, I'd snap that up!

I’ve been to weddings where guests turn up in all white before. I don’t think it’s a big deal. I think it’ll look fine in the photos.

I think you’re feeling stressed about it, because there’s a lot of pressure on weddings. But I honestly think it’s a non issue. If she likes the dress, and it makes her feel confident, she should wear it.

All eyes will be on you, and the photos will be absolutely fine.

micromanaging everything down to your guests’ wardrobe

Absolutely inspired by the mental gymnastics you must have undertaken to achieve this conclusion from the OP saying ‘not sure if this dress is the done thing for a wedding guest?’

Are men allowed to wear white to weddings? And if so why can't women?

I think it will look fine in your photos, especially with yellow accessories.

My mum wore black to my wedding, nearly 40 years ago, didn't know till reading this thread that it wasn't allowed.
She was a big woman and it suited her and she felt and looked good that's all that concerned me.

Question- what colour/style would you like her to wear?

You are presumably wearing white

your bridesmaids are wearing yellow

men are presumably wearing dark suits

M in Law tones her outfit to go with/blend with everyone else that might be in small group photo's and you think that will spoil them?

Seriously, what colour would you have prefered her to wear?

I really don’t understand why anyone would insist on wearing a long white dress as a guest to a wedding, even if it has a print on it.

There are literally so many colors to choose from, why go for white? If you have to think twice if it’s appropriate or not, you have your answer, choose another dress. There are so many options.

Yes. It's a summer dress.

If you are going old fashioned etiquette then yes, a knee length two piece, block court shoes and a hat would be what was worn. But even at society weddings people now wear stuff like the dress you linked to.

Lovely dress, really like it and definitely not a long white dress.

[quote PacifyLulu]**@TatianaBis* and @RampantIvy*

I can see that my views are not the norm on this thread so I checked Debretts, the ultimate etiquette bible. Whilst the rule seems to be softening it’s still appropriate to check with your host before wearing anything based on white or black to a wedding.
So yes, I’m astonished at the carte Blanche
My self esteem is fine thanks.[/quote]
Debretts is basically for provincial Hyacinth Bucket types.

Cf pic of Kate Middleton at a royal wedding (Harry’s).

I don’t see a “long white dress” I see a long floral dress .
It’s fine . What is this “etiquette” you speak of? No one is allowed to wear anything with white on it?

Its not long
Its not white

It is ok for a casual wedding but not really smart enough for a more formal occasion.

@User72651
My bridesmaid dresses are essentially the same - a pale champagne colour with smaller yellow flowers.
In that case, the photos will look lovely and coordinated. That sounds perfect rather than having some random out there colour in the middle of your photos!