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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is a stealth post or am I a miserable cow?

309 replies

Sternschnuppe · 19/05/2021 19:13

I'm due to start a new job in June. It's a complete remote position and I'll be training for four weeks at the beginning with other new starters.

I don't know any of the people I'll be training with, but today I saw on LinkedIn that one of the HR people at the company who headhunted me liked a post of one of the new starters at the company.

It went along the lines of "I'm so happy and excited to start my role. During this pandemic, landing this dream role right after getting my university degree hasn't been easy. I'm feeling so blessed and can't wait for this new chapter in my life"

I was rolling my eyes to the back of my head when I read that and just thought how narcissistic and full of self-praise this person is to write this publically on LinkedIn, but am I being unreasonable?

Is this the new normal and I'm just being a miserable, bitter cow that should get with the times?

OP posts:
nongnangning · 19/05/2021 20:50

I agree with @confusedandshaken. Go to it OP and embrace your inner LinkedIn

vivavino · 19/05/2021 20:52

Standard for linked in, along with "I'm delighted/thrilled/honoured to announce..." posts. The strangest I saw was a solicitor posing with her new "dream car" and tagging her firm with gushing gratitude. There's also a lot of deeply personal stuff that's written like a motivational speech. Tacky, it's like Instagram has spilled over.

BoomChicka · 19/05/2021 21:01

Totally normal for LinkedIn, which is the worst parts of Facebook, twitter and cold calling mashed together.

My current favourites are the ones that post a pouty full length selfie in a tight skirt and blouse with their baps out, with a 5 paragraph post on how shy they are and how much courage it takes them to get up and be a girl boss everyday. With 5000 likes and comments Hmm

nongnangning · 19/05/2021 21:01

@chewtonroad and OP Sometimes LinkedIn promotes a post to second-degree followers. Ie, if the OP has connected to HR and HR is also connected to the young person AND the OP doesn't have many connections yet, the algorithm (whatever this may be) may have shared the young person's post into the OP's timeline. So it would not really be correct to say the young person is expecting strangers' validation, more likely they are new-ish to LinkedIn too and they think they are telling their own existing group of friends about their great new job. I expect the young person's uni friends are all busy liking the post, but unknown to the young person the OP, the new colleague, has come on here to moan anonymously about how boasty she is.

Sample post from anonymous YouthNet in a few weeks time:
"I am working with this really grumpy woman who seems to hate me and keeps cutting me out of stuff. She is older than me - don't know her age, 103 [skeleton emoji for tears of laughter]. What do I do?

JackANackAnoreeee · 19/05/2021 21:03

I'm with you OP. It's great to be proud, by all means ring up your mum and gush about how well you've done but don't make a public announcement to everyone you even vaguely know on social media. It's really boasty. I have an amazing job which I also landed during the pandemic but no way would I announce it on social media.

Interestedparty132 · 19/05/2021 21:03

Hmm. I think people are going way OTT on LinkedIn and it just comes across as unprofessional. I teach uni students and I have seen some 'got invited for an interview with X company. Really grateful for this opportunity' type posts and I just think noooooo. Some of mine also post the transcripts of their grades too. 'Really pleased that I got firsts in all my final year modules, with a 78% in my dissertation'.
My colleagues are at it too though so I can't just blame the students. One of my fellow academics was bragging on twitter about how grateful he was to the peer reviewer of his article. 'Was pleased to see that the reviewers praised how rigorous and thorough my research was and said it was rare to see in this field'. Okaaaaay then, Mr Modest.

GreyhoundG1rl · 19/05/2021 21:04

Sample post from anonymous YouthNet in a few weeks time:
"I am working with this really grumpy woman who seems to hate me and keeps cutting me out of stuff. She is older than me - don't know her age, 103 [skeleton emoji for tears of laughter]. What do I do?
How bloody rude.

Youngatheart00 · 19/05/2021 21:04

Suggest you get used to the corporate world! They’ve done nothing wrong.

backtowasteanotherhour · 19/05/2021 21:06

You may not think you're jealous, but you do sound it, or maybe slightly bitter. Sometimes people are annoying. It's best to ignore them and get on with your own life. It's not doing you any good to grumble here about someone else being overly gushing about how blessed they feel.

nongnangning · 19/05/2021 21:06

@GreyhoundG1rl Not rude. Pointing out the other perspective

GreyhoundG1rl · 19/05/2021 21:06

@Youngatheart00

Suggest you get used to the corporate world! They’ve done nothing wrong.
The corporate world... 🤦‍♀️
pinkmagnolias · 19/05/2021 21:10

There's nothing stealth about it at all
Grin

Beyond cringeworthy. I’d thank my stars I wasn’t working with this person to be honest!!!

Interestedparty132 · 19/05/2021 21:10

@Bluntness100

So basically you’re much older and a trainee jist like this new grad. So they have achieved what you have but much younger and it’s got your back up?
Wow, you're lovely aren't you? Even if she was a grad at an older age, so fucking what? Most who retrain older have done something else before that and are changing careers. Why would they be jealous of a recent graduate? One of my friends is 40 and a trainee barrister. She was previously a GP. I'm pissing my pants at the idea that a 21-year old would be seen as 'having achieved what she has but much younger'. No, my friend just wanted a change and worked her arse off and will be awesome in her new career, just as she was in her old one.
Missfelipe · 19/05/2021 21:11

I mind this a lot less that the ones who’ve applied for a bazillion jobs and have been unsuccessful but think LinkedIn owes them a living without wondering if they are just a bit shit...I know that’s harsh but very true!

GreyhoundG1rl · 19/05/2021 21:14

Wow, you're lovely aren't you? Even if she was a grad at an older age, so fucking what? Most who retrain older have done something else before that and are changing careers. Why would they be jealous of a recent graduate? One of my friends is 40 and a trainee barrister. She was previously a GP. I'm pissing my pants at the idea that a 21-year old would be seen as 'having achieved what she has but much younger'. No, my friend just wanted a change and worked her arse off and will be awesome in her new career, just as she was in her old one.
Jesus, yes 🤦‍♀️
The notion that an older graduate couldn't have spent the preceding years as anything but a bored housewife is just...
Unfeminist? Dickish? Risable?

Probably all of the above.

PurpleSunrise · 19/05/2021 21:15

Yeah it’s a bit gushy and not my style as well, but why do you care so much? Doesn’t affect you at all, but it doesn’t sit well with you so much that you need to start a thread to talk about it? Don’t you get out much? Grin

Youngatheart00 · 19/05/2021 21:16

@GreyhoundG1rl are you in denial that it’s a thing??

OldkermitSippingtea · 19/05/2021 21:21

The notion that an older graduate couldn't have spent the preceding years as anything but a bored housewife is just...
Unfeminist? Dickish? Risable?
Probably all of the above.

"Anything but a bored housewife" isn't exactly a lovely way of looking at housewives - bored or not. She could have been one, still wouldn't make her less worthy.

Dustinto · 19/05/2021 21:22

We’re all generally public sector/charity sector so maybe there is a difference in attitude @Bluntness100. My employer specifically advises against putting employment details on any social media site including LinkedIn.

It just strikes the wrong tone to me, it’s a professional relationship not a personal or emotional one.

Catflapkitkat · 19/05/2021 21:25

It is cringy.

GreyhoundG1rl · 19/05/2021 21:26

@OldkermitSippingtea

The notion that an older graduate couldn't have spent the preceding years as anything but a bored housewife is just... Unfeminist? Dickish? Risable? Probably all of the above.

"Anything but a bored housewife" isn't exactly a lovely way of looking at housewives - bored or not. She could have been one, still wouldn't make her less worthy.

No, you're quite right. It wouldn't. But Bluntness was quite sneery with her "are you jealous that she's achieved what you've achieved but much younger?" assumption that op had definitely achieved nothing of particular note career wise prior to this. It doesn't necessarily follow.
Interestedparty132 · 19/05/2021 21:28

@OldkermitSippingtea

The notion that an older graduate couldn't have spent the preceding years as anything but a bored housewife is just... Unfeminist? Dickish? Risable? Probably all of the above.

"Anything but a bored housewife" isn't exactly a lovely way of looking at housewives - bored or not. She could have been one, still wouldn't make her less worthy.

It doesn't matter whether someone has been a housewife or taken a career break or had a high-flying career before retraining. My objection is to the sneering at someone because they are older and working in an entry role and assuming that they must be jealous of someone younger who has 'achieved more at a younger age'. Really disgusting attitude.
Chocolatefreak · 19/05/2021 21:32

@Sternschnuppe I have to agree, although posts like that on Linkedin are quite common these days. I think it's called a 'humblebrag'. It's twee self-branding purely for visibility to the right people, I guess if you work in communications it shows you're making the right noises.

It's on a par with people who post such flattering photos of themselves on social media they look nothing like they do in real life. Just my opinion, I prefer seeing more genuine, less calculated comments and photos where people aren't posing or using filters.

'Feeling blessed'. Barf.

eekbumbler · 19/05/2021 21:35

Yes her message reads as very cringeworthy to me, however for you to call it a stealth boast and then go on to label the girl a narcissist says way more about you than her, and not in a good way.

Original poster
Sternschnuppe · 19/05/2021 21:36

She will be posting about me on "youthnet" with skeleton emojis 😂😂😂 that really made me laugh. Some posters are very imaginative on here.

In all seriousness, it's interesting to see that people make assumptions that I have a problem with the post because it's coming from a young graduate and that I'm somehow jealous. This couldn't be further from the truth, I would have found the post just as cringe coming from a 40 year old.

OP posts: