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AIBU?

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Original poster

New neighbour, terraced house, seems to expect silence

779 replies

Bahhhhhumbug · 19/05/2021 01:34

New neighbour to my empty (atm) terraced property. As soon as moved in started sending me texts (got my number by asking previous neighbour she bought house off but that's a whole other thread) informing me there seems be a tv left on in the property.
She said l hope l didn't mind her texting me and she askedfor my number.
I texted prev. neighbours and queried whether their buyer knew my house was empty and she said yes as she had told her.
I have always got on very well with former neighbour so didn't 'pull her up' on giving out my number as was very out of character and just figured she got caught on the hop in what was a very stressful house move for unconnected reasons to this tale.
So l text back to new neighbour that yes l was aware and it was a radio left on a talking channel as the house was empty but thanks for letting me know.
Next day l get a phone call from her and she's all 'Hi (insert very shortened version of my name, which even the old neighbour never called me) and she tells me again the radio has been on all night (it hasn't its on a timer goes off about 11pm and a lamp comes on) because she ' can hear it ' l was l admit a little frosty with her as l was annoyed at these chummy texts and calls from someone who shouldn't even have my number and shouldn't have even asked for it imo though l accept old neighbour partly to blame.
I had to read between the lines at this point that she found it too loud so l said (without being asked) l would call next day, (which l did) and turn it down and move it to the far wall in the kitchen (no neighbours that side).
I've had another long text off her today after ld done all that saying can l please answer and confirm that l am going to turn it down (she wasnt in when l went round and obliged so obviously at this point didn't know l had already done so
) Whilst there l also checked upstairs l couldn't hear it wafting up the stairs which l couldn't whatsoever and l have good hearing. It is quieter than a normal volume speaking voice and you can only hear it after you've gone two doors into the house, it's about a volume 3 on Alexa equivalent.
Old neighbour when asked said couldn't hear it when l was in there and neither could l.
Shes rang me twice again now and l just ignored her in the hope she will text me and tell me what the fucks wrong now. She did then text saying she wants it switching off as she can still hear it.
She keeps bringing up that she works from home and l get impression she seems to think that means should be almost silence from neighbouring properties. Or maybe because the vendors told her my house was empty she had an expectation of it being completely silent.
If people moved in they would be entitled to watch tv, talk, have radio on etc and all at a higher wolume than one quiet radio. WWYD as she is really getting on my nerves now.
If l was a rude person l might suggest she should've bought a detached house maybe, but lm not.

Subject:
New neighbour, terraced house, seems to expect silence

Message:
New neighbour to my empty (atm) terraced property. As soon as moved in started sending me texts (got my number by asking previous neighbour she bought house off but that's a whole other thread) informing me there seems be a tv left on in the property.
She said l hope l didn't mind her texting me and she askedfor my number.
I texted prev. neighbours and queried whether their buyer knew my house was empty and she said yes as she had told her.
I have always got on very well with former neighbour so didn't 'pull her up' on giving out my number as was very out of character and just figured she got caught on the hop in what was a very stressful house move for unconnected reasons to this tale.
So l text back to new neighbour that yes l was aware and it was a radio left on a talking channel as the house was empty but thanks for letting me know.
Next day l get a phone call from her and she's all 'Hi (insert very shortened version of my name, which even the old neighbour never called me) and she tells me again the radio has been on all night (it hasn't its on a timer goes off about 11pm and a lamp comes on) because she ' can hear it ' l was l admit a little frosty with her as l was annoyed at these chummy texts and calls from someone who shouldn't even have my number and shouldn't have even asked for it imo though l accept old neighbour partly to blame.
I had to read between the lines at this point that she found it too loud so l said (without being asked) l would call next day, (which l did) and turn it down and move it to the far wall in the kitchen (no neighbours that side).
I've had another long text off her today after ld done all that saying can l please answer and confirm that l am going to turn it down (she wasnt in when l went round and obliged so obviously at this point didn't know l had already done so
) Whilst there l also checked upstairs l couldn't hear it wafting up the stairs which l couldn't whatsoever and l have good hearing. It is quieter than a normal volume speaking voice and you can only hear it after you've gone two doors into the house, it's about a volume 3 on Alexa equivalent.
Old neighbour when asked said couldn't hear it when l was in there and neither could l.
Shes rang me twice again now and l just ignored her in the hope she will text me and tell me what the fucks wrong now. She did then text saying she wants it switching off as she can still hear it.
She keeps bringing up that she works from home and l get impression she seems to think that means should be almost silence from neighbouring properties. Or maybe because the vendors told her my house was empty she had an expectation of it being completely silent.
If people moved in they would be entitled to watch tv, talk, have radio on etc and all at a higher wolume than one quiet radio. WWYD as she is really getting on my nerves now.
If l was a rude person l might suggest she should've bought a detached house maybe, but lm not.

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OP posts:
Minezatea · 24/05/2021 17:16

Everyone I know who lives in a terrace does so because they can't afford anything else. No choice about it.

Zucker · 24/05/2021 17:18

If someone has spied your house for a break-in they'll only need to watch it for a wee while to work out that there's no one coming or going. A bloody radio is not going to put someone off. Burglers can read and listen to police advice too!

Paranoia is dreadful. If you have a good working alarm you really don't need to be making up solutions to ward off an imaginary burgler with a swag bag over their shoulder. Turn off the radio for the sake of your neighbour.

Howzaboutye · 24/05/2021 17:36

What an awful neighbour you are! Turn the bloody radio off. There is absolutely no need for it to be on. 11pm is far too late to have a radio on. You are being really selfish.

Allthingsginger · 24/05/2021 17:44

@Minezatea

Everyone I know who lives in a terrace does so because they can't afford anything else. No choice about it.
No. I turned down the detached house in the country offered , to live in a terrace house because I like noise.
LolaSmiles · 24/05/2021 17:49

Everyone I know who lives in a terrace does so because they can't afford anything else. No choice about it.
I'm guessing they're also reasonable enough to understand that their neighbours are well within their rights to exist in their houses though? Or does everyone you know complain the second they hear anything other than silence and think they can dictate if a neighbour uses a radio?

Neighbours like the OP's, and others, will always have something to moan about, and once theyve decided there is a problem, they will fixate on it. I had a relative like this. We regularly heard about these nightmare neighbours, the nighttime noise, the antisocial noise, blaring music that apparently happened every day. Over a period of 5-10 years, nobody who ever visited or stayed heard anything, and their neighbours had changed several times in this period. What the relative meant was "I live in a terrace and I heard murmurings of the neighbours doing much much the same as me" or "I heard them go out to put the rubbish in the bin".

As many posters say on weird neighbour threads, the second you start giving into one unreasonable demand they'll come up with another one.

CMZ2018 · 24/05/2021 17:55

Strange leaving a radio on in an empty house. Lights I can understand but what’s the point?

Zelaidee · 24/05/2021 21:03

A radio unecessary playng for 8 hours a day is not to be compared to the understandable sounds of people going along with their lives. Said so the easy solution was to move the radio further inside, an action that would have needed no answers from any if us. Some of us are sensible to such kind of noises , triggers an enourmos disconfort. We are here talking of a marathone of radio programs . 8 hours . If a baby cried every day for 8 hours I would be very worried not upset.

Howzaboutye · 24/05/2021 23:10

I reread the opening post. And the more I think about this the more cross it makes me.

In an empty house you are leaving on a radio ALL DAY. The neighbour says she can hear it. She's been polite so far.

There is no reason for this radio to be on all day til 11pm. You are so utterly unreasonable it is unreal.

Just turn it off.

Zelaidee · 25/05/2021 01:11

@Howzaboutye

I reread the opening post. And the more I think about this the more cross it makes me.

In an empty house you are leaving on a radio ALL DAY. The neighbour says she can hear it. She's been polite so far.

There is no reason for this radio to be on all day til 11pm. You are so utterly unreasonable it is unreal.

Just turn it off.

It seems that some people find it average to have a radio on 8 hours a day for 7 days a week and they talk about the right of living their own house . I’m shocked
chickenyhead · 25/05/2021 01:21

Turn it on to the thrash metal station for a week and be done with it.

Oh and block her number.

Gingerwhinger01 · 25/05/2021 11:00

It seems that some people find it average to have a radio on 8 hours a day for 7 days a week
Outside of work I would be surprised if anyone listens to a radio 8 hours a day, 7 days a week.
talk about the right of living their own house . I’m shocked
They're not living in their home, they have left a radio on in an empty property that would only deter the thickest of burglars.
A happy neighbour will act as a better deterrent than a radio, you can, cannot hear ??
People are kidding themselves if they think that a radio is gonna do anything beyond piss your neighbours off.

LolaSmiles · 25/05/2021 11:09

Outside of work I would be surprised if anyone listens to a radio 8 hours a day, 7 days a week.
I have the radio on, or podcasts, or audio books or music throughout the day when I'm at home.
The OP has her radio on in 2 hour bursts throughout the day.

Even if people don't have the radio on, a radio on quietly is still less noise than someone living in the property.

People are getting more hung up on the fact that the OP's using the radio to mask an empty property, and whether they think that's right, than acknowledging that the actual noise is substantially lower than typical household noise.

A radio unecessary playng for 8 hours a day is not to be compared to the understandable sounds of people going along with their lives.
It is entirely reasonable for someone someone listen to music, or the radio, or other media in their own homes. That is part of going about your life.
Said so the easy solution was to move the radio further inside, an action that would have needed no answers from any if us.
OP already has. It is in the kitchen and at the furthest wall from the join.
Some of us are sensible to such kind of noises , triggers an enourmos disconfort.
Don't live in a terrace house and expect to dictate people can't do perfectly reasonable things if you're so sensitive that a quiet radio causes such enormous discomfort.

We are here talking of a marathone of radio programs . 8 hours
We aren't at all. The OP said it's on a time 2 hours at a time with breaks between. It's no different to someone having music on in a morning, watching the news on the telly at lunch, the radio on whilst they clean, and then some netflix on an evening.

Gingerwhinger01 · 25/05/2021 11:34

have the radio on, or podcasts, or audio books or music
So that would be a variety of media you are listening to, not the incessant drone of one never changing radio station - while you are at home
That is part of going about your life.
Again the OP is not going about her life, she is not living there.
Your posts have continuously missed the point that the OP is not living in the property
Normal house hold noise when a property occupied fine. Unnecessary noise in an empty property that serves no purpose not. The radio is fooling no one.

Zelaidee · 25/05/2021 14:13

Where I live there are rules about the noise a person can produce in its own home. I’m pretty sure that such rules Apply to a civilised country as uk. The righ of rest is h 24 wherever you live and only a certain amount of decibel can be produced without debilitating other people Health and right of peace. A radio on fo so many hours , 7 day a week , 365 day a year it is a torture . With a family the pattern vary and break . They go in holidsys. School , shopping , there is a hope of some difference in the noise , here there is no hope just the same over and over driving the person trapped in a loop. in that nightmere

LolaSmiles · 25/05/2021 14:21

Gingerwhinger01
It doesn't matter if someone is in the house or not!

If a radio on low for 2 hours at a time periodically throughout the day then it is either:
A) Unreasonable noise - in which case someone better inform all citizens in non-detatched houses that they should refrain from any audio media during the day.
B) Entirely acceptable- in which case neighbours moaning that a radio is on for periods through the day need to get a grip

If a dog is nuisance barking, whether it is nuisance barking or not doesn't change based on whether the owner is at home or not.
If music is being played at antisocial volumes, whether it is nuisance noise or not doesn't depend on whether the owner is at home or not.

People are getting hung up on the fact they think the OP' actions are silly or an ineffective deterrent, not whether the act of a radio on is a problem.

Take the fact the house is empty out. We all know the replies would be very different if the OP wrote:
I live in a terraced house and have a new neighbour who has objected to me having having radio on during the day. I like it on whilst I'm getting on with work or chores. I've always been on good terms with neighbours and there's never been any noise issue. My neighbour is complaining they can hear the radio, but it's on low. I've been in their house and can't hear it. The radio is now on in the kitchen as far away from the joining wall as possible but my neighbour is still complaining and thinks I should turn it off. AIBU to think a radio on low is not a noise problem and my neighbour is out of order?

Gingerwhinger01 · 25/05/2021 14:36

It doesn't matter if someone is in the house or not!
Yes it does. One would be regarded as the quiet enjoyment of your home and the other is causing an unnecessary nuisance, in an empty property.

LolaSmiles · 25/05/2021 15:11

Yes it does. One would be regarded as the quiet enjoyment of your home and the other is causing an unnecessary nuisance, in an empty property.
If a radio on low in the property next door is a nuisance then it's a nuisance regardless of who is around.

If the owners are around does that mean it's fine for dogs to be barking lots through the day? Is it more or less of a noise problem when the owners are at work?

If someone has loud music on all night, is it more or less of a noise than depending on whether the owners have friends over, are sitting alone, or they've forgotten to turn it off when they've gone out for the evening?

If the neighbour is so badly triggered by a radio on low 2 hours at a time, she's going to have some very real issues when human beings start living there.

Zzelda · 25/05/2021 18:15

@Howzaboutye

I reread the opening post. And the more I think about this the more cross it makes me.

In an empty house you are leaving on a radio ALL DAY. The neighbour says she can hear it. She's been polite so far.

There is no reason for this radio to be on all day til 11pm. You are so utterly unreasonable it is unreal.

Just turn it off.

So why didn't you read the OP's further posts? If you had, you would have discovered that OP's radio is not on ALL DAY, nor is it playing till 11 p.m., and the neighbour has not complained since it was moved and turned down.

Do you think it's a bit unreasonable not to read OP's posts before criticising her?

Howzaboutye · 25/05/2021 19:30

Yep I did. Still disagree.

JocastaElastic · 25/05/2021 20:24

If you believe the radio can't be heard next door, then what's the point in having it on? Because if it can't be heard next door, then it won't be heard in the street. Turn the radio off!

Minezatea · 25/05/2021 20:43

I'm guessing they're also reasonable enough to understand that their neighbours are well within their rights to exist in their houses though? Or does everyone you know complain the second they hear anything other than silence and think they can dictate if a neighbour uses a radio?

No-one is disputing the right to live in your house or to make noise which is necessary for everyday life. None of my friends complain the second they hear anything but neither do they make noise for no reason as they have a social conscience. The analogy is odd. We had the builders in last year. They made a lot of noise. Does that mean i can also have party whenever I want? Of course not. Different situation entirely. As is noise in an empty house versus household noise in a habited house.

LolaSmiles · 25/05/2021 20:58

JocastaElastic
I would agree with you that it's an ineffevtive deterrent as someone would have to be at the door or already entering to hear it, but whether you and I think it's a decent use of a radio is neither here nor there.
A radio at low volume is reasonable in a residential property.

Gingerwhinger01 · 25/05/2021 21:04

if the neighbour is so badly triggered by a radio on low 2 hours at a time, she's going to have some very real issues when human beings start living there.
Badly triggered ? bit of a leap isn't it. Making a perfectly reasonable request to turn a radio down in an empty property that is serving little, to any purpose. Does not indicate that the neighbour will have an issue with normal household noise, when the house is occupied.

LolaSmiles · 25/05/2021 21:10

Gingerwhinger01
The OP has turned it down even though it couldn't be heard and has moved it to another room as far away as possible from the joining wall.

It doesn't matter whether you or I think the radio serves a purpose (FWIW I agree with you that it's unlikely to do much), either a radio on low is an unacceptable noise in a residential house or it isn't.

Minezatea · 25/05/2021 21:20

It doesn't matter whether you or I think the radio serves a purpose (FWIW I agree with you that it's unlikely to do much), either a radio on low is an unacceptable noise in a residential house or it isn't.

But there are contexts which really matter. You can't say whether noise is just OK or not.

  1. If my neighbour is in labour and I hear screaming, I will not mind. If she screams for fun until 10 pm every night I will.
  2. If a neighbour is putting up pictures I will hear their drill. This does not mean that they can bang the walls for enjoyment or to do some indoor archery thing whenever they want.
  3. If a neighbour has an 18th BD party, I will hear noise until the early hours. That does not make this OK on a Tuesday night.

By this reasoning. All noise at all times by everyone is just fine as sometimes it's necessary.