New neighbour, terraced house, seems to expect silence

[Bahhhhhumbug]

New neighbour to my empty (atm) terraced property. As soon as moved in started sending me texts (got my number by asking previous neighbour she bought house off but that's a whole other thread) informing me there seems be a tv left on in the property.
She said l hope l didn't mind her texting me and she askedfor my number.
I texted prev. neighbours and queried whether their buyer knew my house was empty and she said yes as she had told her.
I have always got on very well with former neighbour so didn't 'pull her up' on giving out my number as was very out of character and just figured she got caught on the hop in what was a very stressful house move for unconnected reasons to this tale.
So l text back to new neighbour that yes l was aware and it was a radio left on a talking channel as the house was empty but thanks for letting me know.
Next day l get a phone call from her and she's all 'Hi (insert very shortened version of my name, which even the old neighbour never called me) and she tells me again the radio has been on all night (it hasn't its on a timer goes off about 11pm and a lamp comes on) because she ' can hear it ' l was l admit a little frosty with her as l was annoyed at these chummy texts and calls from someone who shouldn't even have my number and shouldn't have even asked for it imo though l accept old neighbour partly to blame.
I had to read between the lines at this point that she found it too loud so l said (without being asked) l would call next day, (which l did) and turn it down and move it to the far wall in the kitchen (no neighbours that side).
I've had another long text off her today after ld done all that saying can l please answer and confirm that l am going to turn it down (she wasnt in when l went round and obliged so obviously at this point didn't know l had already done so
) Whilst there l also checked upstairs l couldn't hear it wafting up the stairs which l couldn't whatsoever and l have good hearing. It is quieter than a normal volume speaking voice and you can only hear it after you've gone two doors into the house, it's about a volume 3 on Alexa equivalent.
Old neighbour when asked said couldn't hear it when l was in there and neither could l.
Shes rang me twice again now and l just ignored her in the hope she will text me and tell me what the fucks wrong now. She did then text saying she wants it switching off as she can still hear it.
She keeps bringing up that she works from home and l get impression she seems to think that means should be almost silence from neighbouring properties. Or maybe because the vendors told her my house was empty she had an expectation of it being completely silent.
If people moved in they would be entitled to watch tv, talk, have radio on etc and all at a higher wolume than one quiet radio. WWYD as she is really getting on my nerves now.
If l was a rude person l might suggest she should've bought a detached house maybe, but lm not.

Subject:
New neighbour, terraced house, seems to expect silence

Message:
New neighbour to my empty (atm) terraced property. As soon as moved in started sending me texts (got my number by asking previous neighbour she bought house off but that's a whole other thread) informing me there seems be a tv left on in the property.
She said l hope l didn't mind her texting me and she askedfor my number.
I texted prev. neighbours and queried whether their buyer knew my house was empty and she said yes as she had told her.
I have always got on very well with former neighbour so didn't 'pull her up' on giving out my number as was very out of character and just figured she got caught on the hop in what was a very stressful house move for unconnected reasons to this tale.
So l text back to new neighbour that yes l was aware and it was a radio left on a talking channel as the house was empty but thanks for letting me know.
Next day l get a phone call from her and she's all 'Hi (insert very shortened version of my name, which even the old neighbour never called me) and she tells me again the radio has been on all night (it hasn't its on a timer goes off about 11pm and a lamp comes on) because she ' can hear it ' l was l admit a little frosty with her as l was annoyed at these chummy texts and calls from someone who shouldn't even have my number and shouldn't have even asked for it imo though l accept old neighbour partly to blame.
I had to read between the lines at this point that she found it too loud so l said (without being asked) l would call next day, (which l did) and turn it down and move it to the far wall in the kitchen (no neighbours that side).
I've had another long text off her today after ld done all that saying can l please answer and confirm that l am going to turn it down (she wasnt in when l went round and obliged so obviously at this point didn't know l had already done so
) Whilst there l also checked upstairs l couldn't hear it wafting up the stairs which l couldn't whatsoever and l have good hearing. It is quieter than a normal volume speaking voice and you can only hear it after you've gone two doors into the house, it's about a volume 3 on Alexa equivalent.
Old neighbour when asked said couldn't hear it when l was in there and neither could l.
Shes rang me twice again now and l just ignored her in the hope she will text me and tell me what the fucks wrong now. She did then text saying she wants it switching off as she can still hear it.
She keeps bringing up that she works from home and l get impression she seems to think that means should be almost silence from neighbouring properties. Or maybe because the vendors told her my house was empty she had an expectation of it being completely silent.
If people moved in they would be entitled to watch tv, talk, have radio on etc and all at a higher wolume than one quiet radio. WWYD as she is really getting on my nerves now.
If l was a rude person l might suggest she should've bought a detached house maybe, but lm not.

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Very late to this and I can't read the whole thing but it's fascinating that there is almost an even split of opinion, the OP must have been very persuasive as I just can't see how anyone thinks this is reasonable.

It's a sad reflection of the selfish society we now live in.

Slightly more organised burglars will scope out the property before breaking in, the latter will know the property is empty. A dead giveaway would be staking out your house at at 9.00am and returning later at 10.00pm to the same radio station.

Depends on the station and how long they listen for. If it's Radio 4, for example, it could be conversation some of the time, music ranging from pop to classical at other times. Somehow I don't see even the most dedicated burglar sitting outside the house for hours on end with an ear pressed to the back door to try to work out whether the radio channel has changed.

[quote Goldieloxx]@zzelda nah, I'd tell the police I thought I heard burglars in the house nexdoor [/quote]
They'd just ask why the hell you didn't call them.

@Zzelda

Slightly more organised burglars will scope out the property before breaking in, the latter will know the property is empty. A dead giveaway would be staking out your house at at 9.00am and returning later at 10.00pm to the same radio station.

Depends on the station and how long they listen for. If it's Radio 4, for example, it could be conversation some of the time, music ranging from pop to classical at other times. Somehow I don't see even the most dedicated burglar sitting outside the house for hours on end with an ear pressed to the back door to try to work out whether the radio channel has changed.

Op has said it's talk radio, not different stations.

Talk radio, mmm... That poor woman.

@Gingerwhinger, precisely my point - I was pointing out that it didn't need to be different stations for the output to vary.

A radio is a shit deterrent to a burgler, and it's annoying your neighbour.

Solution seems pretty obvious.

[quote Zzelda]@Gingerwhinger, precisely my point - I was pointing out that it didn't need to be different stations for the output to vary.[/quote]
Talk radio is just that talk radio, there is no variation.

@zzelda
So l text back to new neighbour that yes l was aware and it was a radio left on a talking channel as the house was empty but thanks for letting me know.
From the op

Not lunatics. Just hugely entitled people.

Thank you for policing my use of colloquial language. But if we are going to be getting picky, most 'hugely entitled people' are clinical narcissists, or borderline sociopathic.

@unwuthering

I'm not disagreeing with you. But 45% of people here seem to think they're entitled to make unnecessary noise which is marring the neighbours quality of life and they just don't give a shit. Surely 45% of people are not clinical narcissists or borderline sociopathic? God that would be a scary thought!

No, I'm not really disagreeing with you either, actually! There does seem to be a level of NPD-lite afflicting a large portion of society, though. I agree, there is a weird level of entitlement - or ignorance of social norms, or lack of care for others, and general rudeness - involved in anyone who thinks this is acceptable or reasonable behaviour.

All the people commenting turn it off and how selfish of you - ridiculous! So if op moves back into her property she can’t have a radio on?
It’s your house op if you want a radio left on leave it on!
I’d probably arrange to meet neighbour and listen from her property - for her benefit more than yours as I know you said you did this with previous neighbour - she obviously must be able to hear it but no you are not being unreasonable in thinking she’s can’t just move in and expect silence!

So if op moves back into her property she can’t have a radio on?

When it's an actual person making noise next door, it's different - you know at some point they'll start doing something else or they'll go to bed or if it gets too much you can pop round and ask them to stop.

When it's just an automatic droning that you can do zero about and is needless, it's far more frustrating. Just because the neighbour is objecting to pointless wittering of a radio to an imaginary audience of burglars, doesn't mean she'd object to normal household noises if someone were living there.

@unwuthering

No, I'm not really disagreeing with you either, actually! There does seem to be a level of NPD-lite afflicting a large portion of society, though. I agree, there is a weird level of entitlement - or ignorance of social norms, or lack of care for others, and general rudeness - involved in anyone who thinks this is acceptable or reasonable behaviour.

Frighteningly, though, if enough people are like this there comes a point where social norms have shifted.

I mentioned upthread that I’d be wary about moving into another house with a party wall because these views are so prevalent. Washing machines on in the early hours was another thread that had me amazed at how many thought this was justifiable and ‘normal household noise’. Someone on a different thread mentioned kids screaming and doors slamming past midnight - again ‘normal household noise’ is trotted out. Then there are the arguments that urban living is so noisy anyway that adding more to it makes no difference (pretty sure it doesn’t work that way).

Anyone who objects regularly gets told they have to move away from other people. Seems ridiculous to me when we could all get on with a bit of give and take on all sides, but I reckon it’s easier and better for peace of mind to do just that rather than try and reason with the noisy and entitled.

OP - your actions are causing upset to another person. It's totally within your power to stop that. Why wouldn't you do so, if only to be a kind, decent human being? It's no skin off your nose to turn the radio off.

You seem very hung up on the "principle" of the problem, analysing the extent of the noise in great detail and refusing to back down. Why are you digging your heels in so vehemently?

Just be nice. Turn it off. 😀

Amazing divide on the thread! I cannot believe anyone would think it fine to have a radio in a house that disturbs a neighbour when the house is empty. Glad I own a large detached house!

So you are playing a radio in an empty house to deter burglars that might break in and take nothing because it's an empty house? Oops, sorry they might take the radio which I'm sure would be a relief for the poor NDN.
OP you are like the penguin in Wallace and Gromet blaring radio from his bedroom while hes not there and then turning it off when he comes in. All the while pointlessly upsetting a neighbour

YABVU Turn it off

No update to speak of. Still not heard anything from ndn since I turned it down slightly and moved it further away from the adjoining wall. I did this within a day of ndn first contacting me as l said in my first post of the thread (for those of you saying l am refusing from the start to see my ndns pov etc)

Since then, as l said way up thread l have, despite not hearing from ndn since those alterations to volume and location of radio, further adjusted the last 'off' time to 10pm. I have done that because even a few of the YANBU posters have said they think that 11pm is a bit late. As have some of those who've managed to politely say YABU.(yes the two can go together, bullies keyboard cowards warriors take note)
So l have taken that on board as it was going to be my next move had the ndn still complained so l have just done it anyway.(that's for those who say l won't listen to anyone and why bother posting blah blah blah)
Many of you are asking what is the point if it's not on continually so Mr Burglar might call whilst it's off: Police crime prevention and other home insurance advise sites that suggest leaving a radio on as one of their top five or ten burglary, vandalism deterrents, specifically advise to leave it on a timer and never on continually or through the night as this is a dead giveaway that the house is empty. If someone walks past house a few times they sometimes might hear faint conversation, sometimes they won't lm guessing is the logic and plus it's advised as in conjunction with burglar alarm, lights on timer, mortice locks etc not instead of.
The other main thing people have been asking (sorry too many posts to answer individually) is how can it be heard outside but l'm claiming the neighbour can't hear it. Firstly l have never claimed the neighbour cant hear it or she's making it up etc. But its like if two people were talking in an office and you wanted to go in but weren't sure if you were interrupting anyone, so you would listen outside to hear if anyone was in there and unless they were raising voices or shouting obv would be able to hear that people were talking but not loud enough to hear what they were saying. It's like that . But if you went into the next room (or house in this case) it would be either inaudible or much less audible at least.

Can l just say to the posters that have been vile and labelled me with horrible character traits which are wholly untrue and unfair (and indirectly also labelled the 45% of posters that don't believe l have done anything wrong) that you should consider being more careful what you say to a stranger on the Internet. I am a strong person mentally, l am lucky enough to have a great support network of friends who love me and know me to be a kind and considerate person so none of your nasty labels will stick lm afraid and you are wasting your time and energy as l know who l am and the people that matter do too. But not everyone is lucky enough to have that cushion. You seriously could push someone over the edge. I have been called a
ct, twt, bastard, selfish fucker, obnoxious, stupid, pathetic, no empathy, all me me me, to name a few.
. I have had wished upon me bricks through my window,
my house gets burgled,
my house gets burnt down and every ill under the sun.
You have even suggested my good friend of many years must've moved away to get away from me, when the real reason is actually something l have helped and supported her through and has been awful for her on a personal level.
All l have done is something the police recommend in a high crime area to protect my property which l have great sentimental attachment to even though l don't live there. Then when someone has contacted me about this, from day one l have been pro - active in resolving and now it seems it is resolved. Yet that deserves all of the above vitriol apparently.
Please imagine all above being fired at someone who is suffering from depression, social anxiety, is lonely or has just suffered a bereavement or has no one in real life to turn to and is on the edge. Worst scenario, you really could push them over it and at best you could leave them feeling even more hopeless and distressed.
Carry on disagreeing with people, fine, but please stop the abuse.

Sorry l meant to say about empty house - what's to steal? that many have brought up. If you look on any police or insurance website empty house are very much at risk as they don't know its empty of contents till they break in if you have blinds etc then they've already done the damage or will vandalise the place for hell of it, being annoyed at no easy pickings. Round my house lead has been stripped off bay windows and kitchen appliances have been taken from 'emoty' prooerties

e'mpty properties'

@Zzelda

I was too exhausted to read it all after reading the 80odd posts of the girl who fancies the older man at work.

So why bother to comment if you're that exhausted? Let alone to keep commenting?

I like to comment. It keeps you busy if nothing else.

Turn it off, you are being ridiculous.
If no one could ever hear it and it is so quiet, why have you got it ON?
She obviously CAN hear it.

Turn it off before she rings the Council an then they will turn it off for you.
As the miserable tenant above a noisy neighbour I ask you to consider someone else's comfort instead of taking offence.

I really hope the dramatic posters who called you names, read your update and are throughly ashamed. I’m embarrassed for them. YANBU at all.