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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think friend should book?

215 replies

HobbyisENetwork · 17/05/2021 21:40

Friend bought me a spa voucher for my birthday last year and now we can finally go. (Yes I know MN hates spa days).

Anyway I’m trying to book and no one will answer the phone. Automated message says to email and then cuts you off. I email and her told they refuse to book by email.

Told friend about the issues but she didn’t offer to help. I’ve been trying for a few days now and it’s stressful and I feel like actually she should be the one to book it - we’re both going together.

OP posts:
sunshinesontv · 18/05/2021 08:02

It is annoying when you can't get through to a business but I am not sure what your friend could do differently. I think I would just leave it for a few days and try again. If you are having this problem then other people will be too, and they will have to start manning their phones or responding properly to emails.

I think it is a fairly minor irritation though, really not worth getting so stressed and upset.

Hellcatspangle · 18/05/2021 08:06

They can't delete your posts on Twitter tagging them and stating how hopeless they are, have you tried that?

BakedTattie · 18/05/2021 08:08

Why haven’t you just asked your friend to help with contacting them?

This is so bizarre. And your continued passive aggressiveness and sarcasm isn’t helping you.

For the love of god, just ask her to help you contact them. It’s really not that hard!

SoupDragon · 18/05/2021 08:14

What do they say on email when you explain that you can't get through on the phone as no one is answering?

Confusedandshaken · 18/05/2021 08:18

If she'd bought you a gift voucher for a shop would you expect her to go and spend it for you? To save you the hassle of driving and parking or having to queue for a bus?

You sound disproportionately angry about this. Not just at your friend but at the people who say YABU. Why did you ask us if you weren't prepared to be told you were being unreasonable? Is the truth of it that you actually don't like the gift, don't want to go to the spa and are resentful that something you don't like and didn't want is proving to be so much trouble?

jillandhersprite · 18/05/2021 08:18

You're getting angry with the wrong person here because the spa is crap.
Talk to your friend but not to ask her to do the booking - tell her whats happened and can she cancel (or claim her money back from credit card if she used one) because they are making it impossible to book.
Then go somewhere else - however fancy the spa it will never be that good if the management have such shit processes.
If they can't deal with this which is fundamental part of their business - how do they deal with other basics such as hygiene, insurances,
safety, privacy, dealing with their staff - I wouldn't trust them at all.

asdfghjkl13 · 18/05/2021 08:19

Oh my god you need to get a grip

Butterbeers · 18/05/2021 08:22

Oh my goodness, if you’re incapable of booking a spa day how do you cope with life? Of course she shouldn’t have to do it for you.

LizzieW1969 · 18/05/2021 08:31

It isn’t you who has spent money on this, so I don’t understand why you’re so stressed about it? It could be that their website is down so maybe try in a few days?

If you’re still having no success then suggest that your friend cancel and get her money back. Then you can try somewhere else.

Natsel84 · 18/05/2021 08:32

If it's that problematic, Just ask your friend to help ?

Sophiethegiraffe1 · 18/05/2021 08:33

@SadieCow

If you can't book it, not sure what your friend can do TBH.

I'd just keep trying periodically and eventually (unless they're actually closing down) they'll answer as they will need the bookings.

You are spending ages on here arguing YANBU, you're clearly not short of time.

I would be embarrassed to be defeated and stressed about such a small event.

This ^
Original poster
HobbyisENetwork · 18/05/2021 08:49

@Butterbeers

Oh my goodness, if you’re incapable of booking a spa day how do you cope with life? Of course she shouldn’t have to do it for you.
Then please tell me how to book it if -
  1. Phones are just automated and don’t ring or have voicemail options
  2. When they do respond to emails they just repeat that you do need to call,
  3. The place is a 3 hour drive from me
  4. I’ve commented/messaged on their Instagram page and nothing and also saw one review on trustpilot that said they were deleting bad online reviews

I mean I’ve already been called stupid on here. So perhaps I’m missing a 5th way on which I was suppose to contact them.

I agree that I should have just asked for help. I just told her the initial problem and would have asked for help after that but her response made me reconsider.

I can’t keep explaining on here that they didn’t just open up yesterday. They have large indoor and outdoor pools and therefore have been open a couple of weeks with limited facilities.

I can’t keep repeating that I emailed them. I said it in my opening post.

It’s a spa day for us BOTH. We’re only going if it gets booked so yes she does hold responsibility because if I don’t do it then she won’t be going.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/05/2021 08:57

Yanbu. You are (rightly) pissed off at the spa. If I bought you this gift and knew how much hassle you were having, I'd offer to try calling and getting through to them too. Not that I could bypass their system, but two people trying has got to have a greater chance of success than one.

Xoxoxoxoxoxox · 18/05/2021 09:04

Try e-mailing with your phone number and a complaint.
Ask them to ring you back.

ALevelhelp · 18/05/2021 09:05

Am I missing something? Most posters are talking like the spa day is only for OP, and not her friend too? I'm reading it that it's both of them? So in that instance, why isn't it also the responsibility of the friend to help trying to book too?

StillCoughingandLaughing · 18/05/2021 09:06

@ALevelhelp

Am I missing something? Most posters are talking like the spa day is only for OP, and not her friend too? I'm reading it that it's both of them? So in that instance, why isn't it also the responsibility of the friend to help trying to book too?
But it only takes one person to book and, if the OP can’t get through, why would the friend be able to do so?
Trisolaris · 18/05/2021 09:08

OP it might be worth you trying resolver. It’s a free online complaint resolution service. Hopefully they can either get someone to call you or get your money back.

Guavafish · 18/05/2021 09:08

Sounds like you both won’t be going ... I hope you don’t ask for another gift

Trisolaris · 18/05/2021 09:08

www.resolver.co.uk/

BananasAreEvil · 18/05/2021 09:10

@HobbyisENetwork, in a way I kind of agree with you, but you're coming across as very bitchy.
I have a real phone phobia and having to make a phonecall stresses me no end. I loathe presents that involve me having to book something and I'd most likely just let it go to waste rather than going through a stressful process, but then again I also don't like spas!!

MaMaD1990 · 18/05/2021 09:11

@ALevelhelp

Am I missing something? Most posters are talking like the spa day is only for OP, and not her friend too? I'm reading it that it's both of them? So in that instance, why isn't it also the responsibility of the friend to help trying to book too?
Yes you could argue that the friend should also try to book however OP hasn't asked her help so she hasn't offered. If she's going to get her knickers in a twist over it, she needs to explicitly ask her friend to help, even if she thinks her friend is being unreasonable (which she isn't).
Roodicus21 · 18/05/2021 09:14

If I bought a voucher for 2 people (me being one of them) and the other as a birthday gift then I would absolutely try and book for us both. I've bought family members/ friends these type of things (sky diving, afternoon tea etc) and I have always found out a date that works for us and gone ahead and booked. It's never really been a hassle though. I don't know why op is getting such shoddy service. Most places you can book automatically online anyway.

Neonprint · 18/05/2021 09:15

OP you're bleating on about mumsnet bingo. But you're surely playing too? As you're posing on AIBU yet refusing to take on board what everyone is telling you.

Original poster
HobbyisENetwork · 18/05/2021 09:15

@Confusedandshaken

If she'd bought you a gift voucher for a shop would you expect her to go and spend it for you? To save you the hassle of driving and parking or having to queue for a bus?

You sound disproportionately angry about this. Not just at your friend but at the people who say YABU. Why did you ask us if you weren't prepared to be told you were being unreasonable? Is the truth of it that you actually don't like the gift, don't want to go to the spa and are resentful that something you don't like and didn't want is proving to be so much trouble?

Because yet again she’s going too. So I don’t get your example. If I were going to the spa alone then it would make sense.

I don’t care about being told yabu - I agree I should ask for help. What is horrible and nasty is the pile on of insults that aren’t necessary. You can tell someone they are wrong without resorting to childish insults and character assassination.

OP posts:
ThatIsMyPotato · 18/05/2021 09:19

I think if you've been trying for a couple if days ask her if she could try for the next couple of days and just keep taking it in turns. It's the spa I'd start to get annoyednwith though not your friend.