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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think friend should book?

215 replies

HobbyisENetwork · 17/05/2021 21:40

Friend bought me a spa voucher for my birthday last year and now we can finally go. (Yes I know MN hates spa days).

Anyway I’m trying to book and no one will answer the phone. Automated message says to email and then cuts you off. I email and her told they refuse to book by email.

Told friend about the issues but she didn’t offer to help. I’ve been trying for a few days now and it’s stressful and I feel like actually she should be the one to book it - we’re both going together.

OP posts:
ApplyWithin · 18/05/2021 01:56

I think you need a spa day OP.

mimi0708 · 18/05/2021 02:01

If it's for the both of you then YANBU. This is what I have always done for my friends in the past when I've gotten them vouchers for experiences, if it's the both of us going. It's just nice. I'd be mortified as well just getting the voucher because for me it's the whole experience that's the gift and the thought that comes into planning it all including the booking, wouldn't even think of stressing my friends with it especially if I'm the one who thought of the plan. It's just like for example treating my DP for a meal out for their bday, I'd book the restaurant myself and would do the same for a friend.

bioluminescence · 18/05/2021 02:35

I'd agree that if I bought someone a gift and there was a problem, I'd at least offer to try to make it right. Especially since it's a gift for both of you to enjoy together.

She could have offered to make some attempt to contact the spa or suggested that you wait another week. Something. If she just shrugged or didn't say anything, I do think that's impolite and not in the gift-giving spirit. Maybe she's distracted by something else or has it in her head that you want to arrange things, yourself. Otherwise, yes, it would be nice of her to offer to handle the booking. You could ask if she'd mind phoning them next time. ("Maybe you'll have better luck!", etc.)

MrBrightside324 · 18/05/2021 04:55

@HobbyisENetwork

And I would be mortified other ways around and at least offer to help. Not be like - well that sounds like a you problem.
It kinda is a ‘you problem’. Your friend has got you a great present, you seem a bit ungrateful cause you have been stumped by a poor booking system. I’m sure it will all sort out soon, but it’s not really you’re friend’s ‘responsibility’ to do it for you. Unless there is a physical or psychological reason why you arnt able?
Rmka · 18/05/2021 05:10

OP, I understand, it does sounds stressful and frustrating.
I'd try to email them one last time and say they either:

  • call you back so you can book (give them a deadline)
  • refund the money.
If they do nothing tell your friend they seem to be a scam and she'll need to try and get her money back (CC chargeback maybe?)

And then maybe the two of you can go to another spa?

Rmka · 18/05/2021 05:13

Also your friend should really try calling. There was a time my DH tried calling a place few times and was cut off after 5 minutes. Then I tried from my phone and didn't get cut off. I was on hold for 30 minutes but got through. Mystery.

BuntyCarmichael · 18/05/2021 05:31

If the Spa has a Facebook page try the private message button. I had trouble recently with 3 companies that didn't reply to phone calls or emails but did reply to PMs.

Embracingthechaos · 18/05/2021 05:41

Christ, this is a cancel the cheque thread lol.

YANBU. If there is an issue with booking that is potentially going to make the voucher unusable then I would expect her to offer to contact them herself. However, I do think you should just ask her rather than waiting for her to offer.

Grimacingfrog · 18/05/2021 05:50

OP you are being a bit unreasonable to blame your friend but I do completely understand why you're frustrated with the company, and tbh I don't understand why other people would be so blasé. I don't really understand why it makes any difference that they're busy because if you are the person that (finally) gets through, then they should deal with you; the fact that other people are trying to get through too shouldn't make any difference.

Do you say straight away that you have a voucher? I just wonder whether they are trying to put off people with vouchers atm to bring in as much cash as possible? If that's not the case then I would either ask my friend to try and book or leave it for a week or so and then try again when you're a bit less irritated by it all.

I can understand why you're a bit irritated by her not offering but the real issue is with the company, not your friend, and if she's normally a thoughtful person, I wouldn't be annoyed with her, just be more direct. It's not actually rude to ask people to help out.

SpeakingFranglais · 18/05/2021 05:52

So what I would do OP is find out the name of the CEO and email him or her (likely a him) and complain.

Or...

You put the name of the spa on here and let’s see how quickly it takes MN to make contact.

lazyarse123 · 18/05/2021 06:21

@notanothertakeaway

You're finding this stressful?! How do you cope with daily life?
This.
SadieCow · 18/05/2021 06:23

If you can't book it, not sure what your friend can do TBH.

I'd just keep trying periodically and eventually (unless they're actually closing down) they'll answer as they will need the bookings.

You are spending ages on here arguing YANBU, you're clearly not short of time.

I would be embarrassed to be defeated and stressed about such a small event.

MaMaD1990 · 18/05/2021 06:25

It's a bit silly to message her saying you're having difficulties without asking her to help, with a response you want already in your mind but then get annoyed with her when she isn't responding the way you want...Why can you not simply ASK her to help? It's not bloody rocket science.

toocold54 · 18/05/2021 06:29

I really hope your friend is not on here as I wouldn’t be your friend for much longer.

How long have you been trying to get through to them?
What did your friend say when you explained it?

If you can’t get through she’s not going to be able to either. It’s unfair that you are taking your frustrations out on her when’s all she’s done is brought you a lovely gift.

The place is obviously extremely busy. Just keep trying whenever you get a chance. I personally would get a refund for the voucher and you and your friend go somewhere else instead as it sounds like this place is way too busy so even if you got through I doubt you could get an appointment for ages.

ChubbyMsSunshine · 18/05/2021 06:44

Have you told them via email that their phone message says to book via email? It could very easily be that the person managing the emails doesn't know what the phone message says.

Virtually every hospitality business has had to change the way they run - processes may have changed and with limited staff etc it may not be very slick.

Presume you've been clear there's an actual problem, not just repeatedly asking to book without the background and context of crappy phone system?

newnortherner111 · 18/05/2021 06:55

It is the first day they have re-opened probably. They may have had more calls in a day than they get perhaps in a month. Suggest you try later in the week before asking your friend to help.

underneaththeash · 18/05/2021 07:25

You're obviously not being unreasonable in being annoyed that you can't book, they're making it impossible to fulfil the terms of your contract with them.

But it's not up to your friend to sort out.

I'd start off by writing a poor review on trip advisor and trust pilot and if that gets you no-where, email and say that unless they contact you (or allow you to book on email) you will take them to small claims court for breech of contract.

@newnortherner111 the OP has stated about 20 times that they haven't just re-opened.

PurpleWh1teGreen · 18/05/2021 07:26

It’s a pain. Vouchers often are. But if you’ve time to vent on Mumsnet, you have time to make your booking.

I’d also add that even if they have been open for a while, it’s not unreasonable to assume they will be busier this week and are having to implement new ways of working. You could cut them some slack and wait a few days to ring them.

starrynight21 · 18/05/2021 07:33

It's a "you" problem to my mind. When a person gives you a gift, it then belongs to you. You can do anything you like with it, it no longer belongs to the giver but to the receiver. You are wrong to think that since she gave it to you, it's now her responsibility to make things happen. It isn't. Like she said, it's a you problem .

AFS1 · 18/05/2021 07:40

@pheasantsinlove

Jesus there are some dickheads on MN tonight! OP YANBU. And I understand that it is stressful when you're trying to sort it amongst working and studying.

It would have been nice for your friend to offer to help sort it when you mentioned it. I think you've got 2 options.

  1. Just keep trying to get through until you eventually do.

Or

  1. Say to friend "well you may as well have set fire to that money and waste it as I've given up trying to get through to the spa". She's either accept it was a waste of money or she'll put some effort into sorting it.
Or, I don’t know, just ask her to help, rather than being over-dramatic about it.
ElderMillennial · 18/05/2021 07:40

I can see where you are coming from OP. On the one hand, she bought you a gift and she has paid for it, so it shouldn't be a big deal for you to call and book. On the other hand, it has become a bigger job than anticipated.

Have you told your friend about the difficulties you're having trying to book? Perhaps you could say to tell her you've tried to book several times and you're not sure what else to do can can she help trying to call. Perhaps if you both call when you can eg once or twice a day then maybe one of you will get through.

ElderMillennial · 18/05/2021 07:42

Otherwise she is losing her money and you are missing out on your birthday gift.

It also occurs to me that I have certain friends who are never the ones to book even if it's just a lunch or dinner, I always end up booking the table, so I wondered whether she is one of those friends.

Chewbecca · 18/05/2021 07:51

It's annoying when you can't get through on the phone to somewhere, granted.

But they are clearly extremely busy. Have a little bit of sympathy for them. No point blaming your friend for it or just shifting the job on.

ElderMillennial · 18/05/2021 07:53

I don't believe they're so busy that they can't answer the phone, take messages or answer emails.

moynomore · 18/05/2021 07:58

I wish I had this problem to stress about. You're being way over dramatic about this.