To ask how you prepare for a SMEAR?

[CafeMochaVodkaValiumLate]

I've only ever had one and it wasn't long after I'd given birth so I think I was beyond caring.

Do you trim? Take paracetamol? Wear a dress?

I'm overthinking this I know...but, pls amuse me.

Have a shower.

Well that was fun, she had trouble viewing my cervix, told me it had something I can't remember the name of and that's why I've always spotted (basically described as a scabby, sensitive doughnut), if anyone knows what this was please remind me. The nurse (who was so lovely) then got a dr who then said she's going to refer me for an colposcopy. 37 mins I was in there, yes I timed.

But I definitely didn't smell, my bush was trimmed and I had matching socks

Shower, trim (so they've got a fighting chance of finding it in the undergrowth), clean underwear big enough for a pad if it bleeds a little, shaven legs so they don't end up with friction burns from the stubble, skirt so I'm as decent as possible in case there's a sudden emergency or the place catches fire.

Then it's just assuming the frog position and sighing resignedly as they start - it relaxes the muscles a little.

They are much easier and gentler these days, compared to the giant bottle jack and bastard file it felt like they used to use, though. And it's still an improvement upon not having them done and then needing more invasive tests and treatment.

@Calmdown14

Had mine today. It's five minutes and you have a sheet over you. I don't understand how people make it such a big deal. They are looking only at what they need to do and will not care if you are shaved or anything else. Just wear something that is removable on bottom half and not an all in one number and you'll be fine

RE big deal, fear I think, mostly .

There’s limited information available to eg sexual assault/abuse survivors and women with other medical conditions that might make it very, very difficult indeed - an awful lot of telling you to get on with it as it’ll save your life; very little actual practical advice and support before and after .
Not necessarily pain but can cause flashbacks and panic attacks etc .

I imagine a lot of women will put it off for that reason - I certainly did, to the point I landed up being admitted to hospital and scanned to rule out cervical cancer . Even after that scare I’m still absolutely petrified of smears - just a bit more willing to ask GP for a sedative or referral for an anaesthetic/gas and air .

@CafeMochaVodkaValiumLate did she say it was an erosion or ectropion?

Thanks @MonkeyPuddle ectropion!

@Sidge

I do about 500 smears a year.

I'd like it if you -

-Avoid sex for 24 hours before.

-Wash your feet and your vulva (my nose is actually closer to your feet than your fanny...) but don't douche. If you wash inside your vagina it can make it harder to insert the speculum.

That's it really.

That's good to know! Thanks 😊

Op, I just shower as close to the appointment as I can. It's all you can do, really 🤷🏽‍♀️

I’m very clean!

Here you go @CafeMochaVodkaValiumLate have a read of this.

www.jostrust.org.uk/information/cervix/cervical-ectropion

It’s really common and harmless but because your cervix doesn’t look completely like a textbook cervix you get referred to colposcopy so then to have a closer look.

Valium. Breathing exercises. General terror.

Thanks for the link @MonkeyPuddle she did mention cauterising and that it's good I'm having my coil changed first as they sometimes nip off the strings. That was fun to hear. I mean I'm ok with the spotting after sex because it's always happened. They told me this at my last smear and didn't seem concerned but she did also mention a lot of discharge on the cervix.

I'm really not worried, should I be?

No I wouldn’t say so, I think that she’s being thorough and erring on the side of caution. It’s the same thing I would do. Some cervices are more dischargy if you’ve got a coil in (I got it mentioned at mine as well!)

That's great (I think ) thanks for responding!

Don't have an Indian the night before

It definitely doesn't sound like anything to worry about. From what I've heard those with a coil produce more discharge as it's a foreign body your body is trying to keep clean. Lots of people have spotting after sex and have no other issues- it's good they're being thorough and mentioned all of this to you as it's a body part often overlooked until you have problems. Glad it was okay for you though!

No worries 😊

@Calmdown14

Had mine today. It's five minutes and you have a sheet over you. I don't understand how people make it such a big deal. They are looking only at what they need to do and will not care if you are shaved or anything else. Just wear something that is removable on bottom half and not an all in one number and you'll be fine

That made me laugh, just imagining someone in a jump suit so something, I bet it has happened too. I am with the shower just before I go no matter what time it is, even if that means going home 1st before doctors.

@BetterThanKleenex I think so too, having read online and the posts below

I like going I enjoy being able to lay down for 2 mins in the day it's like a little break. I have a tilted cervix so have to put my fists under my self to tilt it up so they can do it. Never been painful. I make sure its clean but don't bother shaving if I can't be bothered. Didn't last time.

FFS yourself @pheasantsinlove

It's not funny, it's as old as the hills, and there's always a handful of people who claim in happened to their pal. It didn't.

shower + clean knickers. No different to any other morning.
Slip on shoes would be handy though. I made the mistake last time of wearing lace up boots & jeans. A skirt / dress would definitely be better for feeling less exposed.

I'm sure I heard Fern Britten tell the glittery fanny story when she was a presenter on This Morning, so probs at least 10 years ago...
Her version was the woman wanted to spray something (perfume?) on her foof but sprayed glitter spray instead....

Anyone else find it a bit weird where they draw the curtain to let you get undressed....but they're going to see you naked from the waist down anyway? . I mean obviously i dont want the nurse to watch me get undressed and get in a flap about where to place my knickers and whether to keep my socks on
The line is usually "I'll give you some privacy..." and then draw the curtain ....then draw the curtain again to look (in detail!!) at the most private part of your anatomy!

Shower and wear a dress/skirt so I (and the nurse! 😂) can be in and out as quickly as possible.

Shower and clean undies. There was a paper towel thing I could put over when I had mine recently ish.