To ask how you prepare for a SMEAR?

[CafeMochaVodkaValiumLate]

I've only ever had one and it wasn't long after I'd given birth so I think I was beyond caring.

Do you trim? Take paracetamol? Wear a dress?

I'm overthinking this I know...but, pls amuse me.

@MountainDweller most smears are done at the GP surgery here by a nurse. So there would be no gowns available.

Diazepam and codeine (PTSD and previous surgeries make it a nightmare for all involved), they usually drag the GP through and a second nurse ...
All the diazepam they can provide .
Slept right through my last one - much, much easier .

Wear a skirt or dress plus period pants (or take a pad) as I generally bleed afterwards.

Also got told to use replens cream for a fortnight before the last one - I was 28 at the time and felt mortified buying cream for vaginal dryness but it did help .

I generally just make sure I shower that morning (as opposed to the night before) and wear something loose - usually a long skirt that I can just roll up as I much prefer that I can use it as
modesty blanket to much better effect than the length of paper roll that is usually provided.

I have a tilted cervix so my smears tend to take longer and are more uncomfortable so I don't like to have to shove myself back into tight clothes afterwards. Additionally I somehow always seem to end up with the student nurses in my smears, which I don't mind, but it tends to take longer as the nurse talks through everything so I feel less exposed if my skirt is just rolled up rather than having nothing at all on my lower half while everyone comes to have a look at my cervix.

I also get self conscious about having my underwear just lying around for anyone to see (stupid I know, the nurse is about to look at my cervix, my pants are hardly going to offend her) especially since I wear my big comfy pants rather than my nicer sets when I have to go for a smear. I have a little pouch that came with my reusable sanitary products that I bring with me so I can put my underwear in and stuff it in my handbag so that they are out if sight and out of mind.

@Twitchynose I usually put them in my handbag. Yes not hygienic, but I can't bear to leave them out on show!

@NotImpossible I agree, I would also put them in my trousers pocket but I tend to wear skirts. I always end up panicking more about the knicker situation rather than getting my vag out! 😂

Shower as close to the appointment time as possible. That's it - I don't bother tidying up specially for it!

I always avoid sex for 24 - 48 hours beforehand, so there’s not any semen lingering up there

Shower before I set off for appointment. That's it.

The nurses don't care for bush/no bush/ bikini line stubble/ shaved legs/ Brazilian fanjo/ vajazzle or whatever

No prep needed, it’s really not a big deal.

Awful to admit, but I've only ever had one in my life and I'm now 42! I've had children (c sections if that is relevant) so I should be able to handle to awkwardness/embarrassment but I keep putting it off.

Why the screaming capitalisation of SMEAR? This isn't the Daily Mail fgs.

I shower and wear a dress/skirt and knee high socks so I stay covered up

@sHREDDIES19 please don't put it off. Honestly it's over in a matter of minutes, no one cares what it looks like. Imagine your babies being left, god forbid if anything happened as you were too embarrassed. This was me for my first two, I kept putting it off. I'm not trying to shame or scare you so please don't feel like I am. Get it booked in 😊

Trim, shower and make sure I don't have sex the night before...

Hop on up and spread em! Zero prep required.

Unusual to have only had one unless you're very young.

[quote CafeMochaVodkaValiumLate]@Hobnobsandbroomstick ha I like your style!

Thanks for the tips. I will also have DS7 in tow which is less than ideal. [/quote]
I took DS1 to a smear when he was about 2/3, he was sat in his buggy behind the curtain.
Unfortunately I parked him a bit too close so he spent the entire procedure playing peek a boo with the nurse and I ! Didn't help with the smear as I couldn't stop laughing..

@BritInAus

Shower as close to the appointment as possible - that's about it.

This ^^

@Pinkdelight3 I'm 31

@Clarich007 yes. No idea why you think it needs 2 question marks when I'm merely trying to describe in a light hearted fashion my experience. Off you trot.

When my friend was training to be a GP she had to run the smear clinic, which was in the afternoon. She said by the end of the day some people were stinky

So I book early and get it over with, or make sure there's time for a quick shower before going.

If I had a ds7 with me I’d make sure he knew (kind of) what was going on and that he had something to do (phone?!!) while I was being sorted. Otherwise, I have a wash and wear non holey socks. And take deeeeeep breaths. Hate them.

Shower just before! And wear something I can easily take off.

Practice your best fanny smile.