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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends daughters 1st birthday

543 replies

namechangedforthis21 · 16/05/2021 21:26

It was my friends daughters 1st birthday yesterday. She had given everyone set time to show up for dropping off presents and to see her dd. My family was assigned 12-12:30 I text her during the week to say we would be there but would be slightly later as my dd football finished at 12. She changed the time to 12:30-1 which I said was no problem. After football we drove to her house and my dd was still in her football strip. Today she has texted me saying Hi I wasn't going to say anything as I didn't want to make you feel bad but I was very upset that ....... showed up to ..... 1st birthday party in her football strip given the fact I changed your time to accommodate her football. It would of been nice if you could have made an effort and got her changed into proper party attire.
I still haven't replied as I don't no what to say.
WIBU by not changing dd8 out of her football strip?

OP posts:
MoiraNotRuby · 16/05/2021 22:25

Sounds like she is struggling?

Hubstar · 16/05/2021 22:26

It’s her first child isn’t it

SaturdayRocks · 16/05/2021 22:26

The only thing that’s going to take the wind out of her PFB sails is a blanket ignore.

Just when you think you’ve read it all on here... Absolutely dying for 5-years-down-the-line her.

Spudina · 16/05/2021 22:26

Wow.Batshit and rude. She needs to get over herself.

JudgeRindersMinder · 16/05/2021 22:27

“I could swear you just told my dd’s football kit spoiled your kid’s birthday 😂😂😂”
Would be my reply

annie335 · 16/05/2021 22:28

I would reply saying 'I can't quite believe that you have sent me this..'

Aquamarine1029 · 16/05/2021 22:28

I desperately hope this thread gets nicked by the DailyFail so this woman sees it. She is absolutely batshit, and you are crazy if you go to her fucking BBQ. I'd tell her to shove it.

Yummymummy2020 · 16/05/2021 22:28

This is insane! I can’t imagine being this cheeky as to complain about what a child wore to a birthday party and it wasn’t exactly a party it was a short call to the door to give a gift!!! Your friend is really odd!!!

cameocat · 16/05/2021 22:29

Oh my god I hope her DD grows into a teen like mine and wears nothing but joggers and hoodie.

Happynewtier · 16/05/2021 22:30

Turn up to the BBQ naked and shit on her table. If she's going to try and make you feel embarrassed about nothing, might as well give her a genuine reason to act so offended. What a dickhead she is. I could not muster up any sort of enthusiasm for a friendship with a dress code attached to it.

Honeyroar · 16/05/2021 22:31

I think I’d reply don’t worry you haven’t made me feel bad, you’ve just made yourself look ridiculous. And if we’ve offended you that much perhaps you’d better return the present that you have forgotten to say thank you for??

Waitinginthewings · 16/05/2021 22:32

Wow that's insane.

Giving her benefit of the doubt, maybe she is just really struggling?

littlepattilou · 16/05/2021 22:33

@namechangedforthis21 I think texting back 'U OK hun?' is really needed here!

What a little madam!

S0upertrooper · 16/05/2021 22:34

Is she married? Was she a bridezilla? I could not be arsed with someone like this.

Before my SIL had kids she told DH she needed to have a word with him about discipline for our DS who was a toddler. She'd been visiting GPs when they were babysitting. Apparently DS wouldn't put one toy away before bringing out the next! The party dress code comment is the kind of batshit SIL would come out with.

You've done nothing wrong but if you go to the BBQ and don't say anything about her text, you're sending a message that she can say what she likes to you. She doesn't sound a very nice person to criticise your DD's clothes or your parenting.

littlepattilou · 16/05/2021 22:34

@Happynewtier

Turn up to the BBQ naked and shit on her table.

Remind me NEVER to invite you to anything... EVER! Grin

BitOfAFaff · 16/05/2021 22:36

😂😂.

mainsfed · 16/05/2021 22:36

Sounds like a present grab?

Are these usual in your circle?

Serin · 16/05/2021 22:36

I'd just text her back "did your DD like her gift?" And then I'd block her for ever after.

You don't need people like this in your life. No one needs this complete idiot in their life. Poor child having her for a mother.

Ginfilledcats · 16/05/2021 22:37

I'd reply back with "oops think you misspelt. 'Thank you for the lovely gift and popping by to see us' in your last message. Damn autocorrect"

Also big fan of whoever suggested you all rock up to her bbq in ball gowns and tux. Please report back if you do this

friendlycat · 16/05/2021 22:40

This is utterly hilarious. Text back
“You’ve obviously had a busy day, but I think in amongst everything going on today you’ve forgotten to thank me for your DD’s birthday gift that we kindly dropped in with.”

AliceMcK · 16/05/2021 22:40

Respond with “your welcome for the present and of course it was no bother rushing around to yours after DD played football for 90 mins just to stand at your door, even though she was tired and hungry.”

GabsAlot · 16/05/2021 22:41

even if she was annoyed about clothes to not even thankyou for your gift is rude and i wold point that out to her

crosstalk · 16/05/2021 22:41

Please can we make a law that

  1. You only have family to a 1 -4 year old party. It's all about the parents and the child won't remember it.
  2. You don't bother about birthday parties at all. Or share them with someone else to do whole class parties in a school or village hall or swimming pool. Not leaving anyone out and making sure the parents are there to collect.
  3. Don't waste your money on any school leaving party.
  4. Save your money for the 21st when they know who their friends are.
  5. Or the wedding when they can't remember most of their friends from their 21st.
Mulhollandmagoo · 16/05/2021 22:42

I absolutely couldn't ignore this, that is beyond rude!! And to be honest, unless it's brought to her attention, she is going to make a prize twat of herself before long! I have a 2yo and when she was younger and I was a new mum establishing friendships I'd have given her a wide berth, most people would, and it would be crap if that happened to her. If you're a really good friend it would be better coming from.you than a stranger, gently raise how inappropriate her attitude was....she'll be mortified about that in years to come

EL8888 · 16/05/2021 22:42

This is rather embarrassing for your friend. Another vote to send laughing emojis back

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