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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends daughters 1st birthday

543 replies

namechangedforthis21 · 16/05/2021 21:26

It was my friends daughters 1st birthday yesterday. She had given everyone set time to show up for dropping off presents and to see her dd. My family was assigned 12-12:30 I text her during the week to say we would be there but would be slightly later as my dd football finished at 12. She changed the time to 12:30-1 which I said was no problem. After football we drove to her house and my dd was still in her football strip. Today she has texted me saying Hi I wasn't going to say anything as I didn't want to make you feel bad but I was very upset that ....... showed up to ..... 1st birthday party in her football strip given the fact I changed your time to accommodate her football. It would of been nice if you could have made an effort and got her changed into proper party attire.
I still haven't replied as I don't no what to say.
WIBU by not changing dd8 out of her football strip?

OP posts:
Tinty · 16/05/2021 21:44

Ask her where your DDs piece of cake and party bag is?

User0ne · 16/05/2021 21:44

Grin her first child then

Hopefully she'll look back and cringe.
If not I don't think I could be friends.

You could send a message saying you are sorry it upset her DD 😂

AmyDudley · 16/05/2021 21:47

Were any of the elements of a party there for guests - like food or drink?
If not then it wasn't a party.

Did the text she sent you moaning about your DD's football kit contain thanks for coming round and thanks for the present?

Next time you pop round her house for a coffee wear a full evening gown and a tiara just to be on the safe side.

Original poster
namechangedforthis21 · 16/05/2021 21:47

@MontysRoseGarden Yes I took a gift. As far as I'm aware there wasn't any photos. When we arrived it was just her mum, sister and dh that I could see.

OP posts:
bloodyhell19 · 16/05/2021 21:49

@namechangedforthis21

No mention of a party or anything I thought it was her way of limiting the numbers at her door. It was just a show up drop the present off and leave type thing. Yes this is her pfb. She has never been like this before her baby and that's why I wondered have I done something wrong. Although some of her comments since her dd was born have been batshit. No thank you just that message.
I'd be tempted to say "Alright. You're welcome for the gift." Acknowledge it but don't react or get into a "Well I thought my DD..." Your friend is batshit. The slots to visit were batshit - and presumptive - enough without going into how your DD's ensemble spoiled her daughters first birthday. I'd give her a wide berth.

Is she normally high strung & demanding?

Original poster
namechangedforthis21 · 16/05/2021 21:51

No elements of a party at all. She had a gazebo up that was blocked for guests that her dd was in. It was just drop the present on the table have a chat and then leave.
No mention of the gift in the text.
We are invited to a bbq at hers in a few weeks and dh has said he will be wearing his full suit so he doesn't offend her.

OP posts:
TopBlogger · 16/05/2021 21:52

Tuxedo at least for the Bbq. A suit won't cut it

MontysRoseGarden · 16/05/2021 21:52

ah well that would be for her mum and sisters benefit then....to show off her friends and prove how adored her pfb is...then you rock up all normal and ruin it all!!! knocks her off her pedestal a bit....hence the text as i imagine her mum or sister brought you to everyones attention when you left......your friend is feeling pissed off that her mum and sister noticed and 'said something'

quizqueen · 16/05/2021 21:53

I hope the football kit was suitably muddy as well.

TableFlowerss · 16/05/2021 21:55

This has to be a wind up???!!!!

Deadringer · 16/05/2021 21:57

What a fucking liberty.

Amandasummers · 16/05/2021 21:58

Please all of you go to her next bbq in full black tie attire I beg you

BackforGood · 16/05/2021 21:59

We are invited to a bbq at hers in a few weeks and dh has said he will be wearing his full suit so he doesn't offend her.

Definitely. Full evening dress from you all I should think.

bloodyhell19 · 16/05/2021 22:00

We are invited to a bbq at hers in a few weeks and dh has said he will be wearing his full suit so he doesn't offend her.

In that case OP I would definitely ask her for the dress code. What an entitled bint.

BeaLola · 16/05/2021 22:00

I think she was pretty rude - she should be thanking you for her daughters gift and for dropping it round

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 16/05/2021 22:00

Morto Blush

Cocolapew · 16/05/2021 22:00

Omg what a weirdo.
Go to the bbq in football strips.

Yesmate · 16/05/2021 22:01

She sounds grabby to be honest. Here’s your a lot to bring a gift but you can fuck off after half an hour. No thanks. Reply and say “you’re welcome for the gift” abs leave it at that. So rude. I would be raging if it was one of my friends.

Alternista · 16/05/2021 22:03

I’m speechless!

Is she a good friend?? I’m trying to think of something you could reply that wouldn’t torch the friendship but I’m struggling tbh.

RogueMNerKnowsNoShame · 16/05/2021 22:03

@User0ne

Grin her first child then

Hopefully she'll look back and cringe.
If not I don't think I could be friends.

You could send a message saying you are sorry it upset her DD 😂

I love this suggestion.
Moonshine11 · 16/05/2021 22:04

😂😂😂 Christ I don’t even know what to say!
I would deffo reply saying your welcome for the gift.

SingingSands · 16/05/2021 22:04

I think you should all rock up to the bbq in football kit Grin

Newchances · 16/05/2021 22:08

Little to bother her,if she's getting annoyed about that(as my mother would say)

Hopdathelf · 16/05/2021 22:09

She’s bananas. I sort of hope she’s reading this and cringing herself inside out.

Original poster
namechangedforthis21 · 16/05/2021 22:09

@Alternista Yes she is a good friend have been friends since primary school. That's why I wasn't sure if I was the one in the wrong. I think I will just ignore that message and see if she texts me later in the week.

OP posts: