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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friends daughters 1st birthday

543 replies

namechangedforthis21 · 16/05/2021 21:26

It was my friends daughters 1st birthday yesterday. She had given everyone set time to show up for dropping off presents and to see her dd. My family was assigned 12-12:30 I text her during the week to say we would be there but would be slightly later as my dd football finished at 12. She changed the time to 12:30-1 which I said was no problem. After football we drove to her house and my dd was still in her football strip. Today she has texted me saying Hi I wasn't going to say anything as I didn't want to make you feel bad but I was very upset that ....... showed up to ..... 1st birthday party in her football strip given the fact I changed your time to accommodate her football. It would of been nice if you could have made an effort and got her changed into proper party attire.
I still haven't replied as I don't no what to say.
WIBU by not changing dd8 out of her football strip?

OP posts:
restingbitchface30 · 18/05/2021 20:03

What I don’t get from reading so many posts similar to this is how people keep friends who are absolutely mental! Christ alive, get rid! I only have 3 good friends and would never entertain bullshit like this.

Mayra1367 · 18/05/2021 20:11

She is absolutely crazy !

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/05/2021 20:11

You handled this brilliantly!

Vinomummyinlockdown · 18/05/2021 20:17

Is it her precious first child???? She will learn.

Mummabug18 · 18/05/2021 20:18

Seems to me that the friend should have been the one to post here before texting OP so she could be called out before upsetting people who spent time and money to make her DDs day count.

OP, you should just send her a link so she can make better choices in future! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Sally2791 · 18/05/2021 20:20

Absolutely bonkers! What is wrong with people!

Ladywinesalot · 18/05/2021 20:25

Perhaps the whole having her Pfb in covid/lockdown has sent her over the edge?
1st Bdays can be a big tubing (they were for my dc)
Not being able to have a proper party may have upset her and made her lose sight of reality.

Be kind I think. It must be hard to access what normal parenting is when you can socialise

Wowyouareboring · 18/05/2021 20:28

Lol 😂 - would be my reply 😂😂

Carriecakes80 · 18/05/2021 20:33

Do people really live in this kind of world? It makes me sad!
If anyone spoke to me like that about anything it would be the last time they spoke to me at all after the mouthful I would give them!

Anyone who speaks like this has their head shoved permanantly up their own backside and ain't worth jack! A true friend would thank you so much for the gift and be touched that you had bothered!!

honeybee88 · 18/05/2021 20:55

Oh my.....😂😂😂.....I would have a birthday party where everyone had to come dressed in a football strip!! Make sure her kid is invited.
So you got NO party and had to hand over a gift? 😂😂😂woman is bonkers.

TinselTinsel · 18/05/2021 21:10

I do hope this is a joke, crazy mare! Never have I ever known of allocated times for present drop off, wtaf! Who give a tom tit that your daughter was in her footy kit , jeez tell her bog off.

Mol70 · 18/05/2021 21:10

Sorry, this is an episode of "Motherland" surely??

Birdcloud · 18/05/2021 21:20

Your friend will look back at this piece of batshit with embarrassment- and hopefully have a laugh about it. I do hope she is normally a good friend, in which case forgive and forget; if not just don’t see her again. Don’t do anything you’d regret. She’s obviously going through a barmy first baby moment. YANBU.

retirementrocks · 18/05/2021 21:22

FFS!

Pinklemonade1 · 18/05/2021 21:40

Wow. So shallow of her. I would be just so grateful for friends turning up.. I wouldn't care what any of them were wearing.

SpeedRunParent · 18/05/2021 21:42

Ffs, people just get more and more entitled.

JudgeJ · 18/05/2021 21:51

@Italiangreyhound

"Told her that when she has class parties for her dd a lot of the children will show up in sports clothes she laughed and thanked me for the warning."

Great update.

Also tell her about my grandson who went to his grandfather's funeral in his Star Wars onsie, he looked great.
wishywashywoowoo70 · 18/05/2021 21:52

Good grief.

I'd have text her back with just a plain Fuck off you nob.

skybluee · 18/05/2021 22:30

I just think it's really sad that she's so much more concerned about what your child was wearing than the fact you 1. bothered to turn up 2. fit seeing her in around your arrangements 3. bought two nice presents for her.

Where are her priorities? Why would it matter what's being worn? Her child is 1? She won't even know. It just seems ridiculous.

I also find this sad:

"her dad did go home for a shower as he was a referee for the boys team 😂 so he was lucky to miss out on having to go as the text would of been a lot worse I think if he had showed up in his tracksuit 😂"

so it's got to a point where it's better that someone isn't even there, than show up in a tracksuit??? That is just NUTS, missing a birthday, memories, what's meant to be a happy occasion is a better option than actually being there but wearing sportswear??

SionnachGlic · 18/05/2021 22:49

All is well that ends well...I'm glad you kept your cool & there was no falling out as it is a shame to lose good friends over a misunderstanding. At least you said what was on your mind & ye both 'made up'...put it down to pfb & covid craziness....poor girl, really she is in for some rude awakenings as the years roll in..... maybe in the future her DD actually will insist on wearing a football strip to a party.....oh, the mortification of it...😂

Localocal · 18/05/2021 23:17

"Babes, your first-time-mum is showing. Football strip is perfectly normal party wear for children. Also, my daughter is fierce and I will not teach her that she has to put on a dress to meet other people's expectations."

SaturdayRocks · 18/05/2021 23:40

Luckily it’s all long-been resolved, and people don’t need to use some of these, frankly, cringe-worthy ‘come-backs’. 😳

RTFT.

PenelopeW · 18/05/2021 23:42

The lack of kindness and empathy on here leaves me losing my faith in human nature sometimes. namechangedforthis21 says her friend is not the same since the birth of her baby - do you think perhaps post natal depression is at play here and it might be advisable to approach the situation with this possibility in mind?

And another thing - so many of you jump on the same bandwagon using the word 'batshit'. If you are going to be that harsh, at least come up with your own original opinion.

eepeep · 19/05/2021 00:03

So we took the dogs for a walk and she brought up her dds birthday and how well she thought the day went. I said to her I was really upset with her message about dds football kit as we had gone out of our way to drop off the present. She was really apologetic about it and said it had all just got to her that her daughter didn't have the 1st birthday that she had planned (before her dd was born she had planned to get her dd christened on her first birthday as she thought all the covid restrictions would be away by now)
Told her that when she has class parties for her dd a lot of the children will show up in sports clothes she laughed and thanked me for the warning.

So glad to see this update, and you are a lovely friend. I'm glad that she could see the situation for what it was in the end.

Feelingconfused2020 · 19/05/2021 00:13

I'm gonna offer your friend some sympathy. If you are the kind who gets emotional/hormonal at big moments in your child's life and you add in covid and all the things you've potentially missed in that first year I can imagine feeling like this. I can't imagine vocalising it. Perhaps it's testament to what a good friend you are.

Why didn't she just have a party in the garden next weekend?? She could have had just grandparents or something round for the actual birthday. That's perfectly normal even in non covid times but at the moment would have gone down well with everyone as a nice social event. Seems odd to celebrate with time slots a week before you can celebrate with everyone together.