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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friends daughters 1st birthday

543 replies

namechangedforthis21 · 16/05/2021 21:26

It was my friends daughters 1st birthday yesterday. She had given everyone set time to show up for dropping off presents and to see her dd. My family was assigned 12-12:30 I text her during the week to say we would be there but would be slightly later as my dd football finished at 12. She changed the time to 12:30-1 which I said was no problem. After football we drove to her house and my dd was still in her football strip. Today she has texted me saying Hi I wasn't going to say anything as I didn't want to make you feel bad but I was very upset that ....... showed up to ..... 1st birthday party in her football strip given the fact I changed your time to accommodate her football. It would of been nice if you could have made an effort and got her changed into proper party attire.
I still haven't replied as I don't no what to say.
WIBU by not changing dd8 out of her football strip?

OP posts:
PocketRocket12 · 18/05/2021 17:38

Thanks for the update OP. You sound totally lush. I’m so sorry but this whole saga really did make me chuckle and I’ve followed this thread totally hooked!!!

thenovice · 18/05/2021 17:41

As you were basically asked to do what Amazon does, perhaps you should have turned up in Amazon strip?!
YANBU

MeandT · 18/05/2021 17:41

@namechangedforthis21 "Sorry, forgot to check my copy of DeBretts for appropriate dress code for [checks notes].... 'dropping a present off'. Must have been on the back of the page that was torn out with the section on 'thanking friends for presents for child's birthday'."

amispeakingenglish · 18/05/2021 17:43

YANBU... I can't believe anyone would even think that. Is beyond bizarre... does she dress for dinner and have rows of cutlery, napkins not serviettes? Ha Ha Ha. Its so not important is it. Think I'd turn up in a pantomime horse rear end next year if you can be bothered to go at all. Does she have older children?

Bard6817 · 18/05/2021 17:46

No dress code specified and told it was a party afterwards.

I’d go back with, sorry you are upset but I’m upset as you expect me to mind read your expectations of what a party is, what attire is required and how little you have to worry about in life, if this has upset you.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 18/05/2021 17:46

Nice update OP. Goes to show things can be resolved without resorting to the drastic mn replies that are usually just suggested to stir drama.

Skyla2005 · 18/05/2021 17:46

I don't think the one year old would mind. Won't even remember the sodding party

mickmck69 · 18/05/2021 17:55

tell her to f off

Whythesadface · 18/05/2021 17:55

I think she got to into the entitlement thing.
I think you should forgive her, as normally she would have been able to have cake and friends with toddlers, so the lockdown has made things that don't really matter seem like big deals.

Rachel1874 · 18/05/2021 17:56

Personally I would have taken a change of clothes. But I also wouldn't have mentioned to my friend if I knew they were coming straight from football. So I think you are both being a little unreasonable 🤷‍♀️

Namechange199x · 18/05/2021 17:58

Is she one of those super bio yummy mummies?
Ohhhh I would text her where is my thank you for the present, had to rush to yours !

wellstopdoingitthen · 18/05/2021 17:58

Next time you pop round her house for a coffee wear a full evening gown and a tiara just to be on the safe side.

🤣🤣🤣 love it!

Smithitchi · 18/05/2021 17:58

I didn’t realise 1yr olds had such strong views on what people wore to a birthday engagement?

2ddandabump · 18/05/2021 17:59

Erm, is it her first child??

Given that we haven't been unable to see friends for so long now, I couldn't care less what they were wearing when I saw them.

I have 3 children and have done various parties, I have never given one thought to what the children or adults were wearing, especially since they have been so kind as to bring my child a present.

She's is in the wrong for making you feel bad, hope she feels silly when she's thought about it.

ilovesushi · 18/05/2021 17:59

Batshit crazy on all counts. Did she have a procession of guests paying homage to her daughter in half hour slots? What a pain in the neck for all involved.

Egghead81 · 18/05/2021 18:00

@2ddandabump

Erm, is it her first child??

Given that we haven't been unable to see friends for so long now, I couldn't care less what they were wearing when I saw them.

I have 3 children and have done various parties, I have never given one thought to what the children or adults were wearing, especially since they have been so kind as to bring my child a present.

She's is in the wrong for making you feel bad, hope she feels silly when she's thought about it.

You can “read all” of the OP’s posts Grin
MuffinDoing · 18/05/2021 18:00

Excellent grown up response OP, you are a lovely wise person. I am surprised that some people on mn have any friends left at all with their suggested responses to what was a one of very thoughtless text from a 30 Yr friend who, like many many people, has had a tough year. Empathy is in short supply around here, we'll done for rising above it. Xx

Insanelysilver · 18/05/2021 18:05

She’s bloody rude! No thank you for taking the trouble to come round and for the birthday present !
She’s obviously got herself mixed up and thinks her daughter’s first in line for the throne or something. What a pretentious nutter. That’d be the last present I ever bought for her!

BigHeadBertha · 18/05/2021 18:08

I like your classy reply. I have to say that, tempting as it can be to give someone a well deserved slap, I have definitely come to regret some of those in one way or another, but do not recall ever being sorry for taking the high road.

Things have a way of getting twisted and once you say it, you lose control of what's done with it. For just one example, she could have easily shared a nasty response with others but conveniently left out her inciting comment to you. Or it could grow into a big headache in other ways. But if you don't say it in the first place, then you haven't given any ammunition- to someone who has already shown that she may be a bit deranged.

I wouldn't be surprised if this friendship doesn't last though, because she definitely seems the type that it's "her world and we're all living in it."

ClawedButler · 18/05/2021 18:10

v. happy to see all is resolved nicely.

Aye she was bonkers but she's had a tough year (we've all struggled with lockdown but not all of us have had a baby to look after in that time) and can see it was a bit bonkers and it's all good now.

I remember being genuinely surprised that people didn't stop me in the street to exclaim over the extreme beauty of my baby.

BigHeadBertha · 18/05/2021 18:13

Haha, good point ClawedButler. I recall feeling a bit hurt that the babysitter wanted to be paid. Wasn't getting to play with the most adorable baby in the world for a few hours enough? :p

MrsRagnarLothbrok · 18/05/2021 18:16

'I'm so sorry, you seem to have misspelt "thank you so much for DD's birthday present and taking the time to visit yesterday" as I assume that's what you meant?

perfect response

PinkPanther27 · 18/05/2021 18:18

Omg she can't be for real 🤣🤣🤣

Isabelle1143 · 18/05/2021 18:25

Time slots to see said child?! Good god is this royalty? I'm guessing this is her first baby 😂 I would give her a wide birth, excuse the pun. I'd keep her at arms length from now on! You don't need negativity like that!

SunnyMustard · 18/05/2021 18:33

I'd have a chat with your friend. Maybe it has been a rough year for her. Pregnancy, baby shower, birth and major milestones celebrated alone or not fully because of covid. Surely it would be over by one year but no ... still in lockdown. She's tried to make the 1st birthday as normal as possible. Maybe the clothes triggered something bigger. NOT defending her, just contemplating what in the world she was thinking.