To be fed up of dd13 downstairs everynight

[Thedarksideofthemoon30]

I absolutely love my dd13 obviously and I appreciate she wants to hang out with us (her dad!!) but it’s getting past a joke. It’s been going on for over a year now and We haven’t had one evening to ourselves in that time. I’m sick of not being able to watch soemthing that isn’t suitable. I’m sick of listening to her eating crisps while watching something lol and I’m sick of having to sit on my own on the other side of the room while she lays on the other sofa with DH.

We were halfway through a film but she clearly was bored, messing with her glasses etc so I turned it off and came to bed. I’m so fed up with it every single night!!

Dh won’t send her up stairs, he’s always too scared to say anything incase she falls out with him!!

@FizzyPink Why can't she read in her room, there are such things as reading lights?

I take it that op is the stepmother and her DH a disney dad?

Have you thought about getting a tv in your room and you going to watch it upstairs which can be your own space.

Or it may be worth saying she needs to go up to bed earlier but she can watch a movie on an iPad with headphones or something so she doesn’t wake her sister up.

@3Britnee

I take it that op is the stepmother and her DH a disney dad?

That was the impression I got. The falling out makes sense; if they fall out she could refuse to come over.

!3 and still up at 10pm, send her to her room at 9pm she can read, watch things on her phone /i pad. switch off 9.30 when got school the next day 10pm when not.
All adults need their time, all children and she is still a child need routine.

This thread is so depressing. The poor kid literally doesn't have anywhere else to go except YOUR bedroom. She's only 13! I can't imagine not wanting my DD around tbh. I hope yours doesn't have any idea how you feel.

I think don't have kids if you don't want to be in the same room as them! 15 yo DD is down with us every eve (other 2 chose to be upstairs) and I love they all chose where they want to be it's their house too.

Poor kid.

@Rabbitheadlights would you like to spend your evenings sat in a room trying to be quiet and not wake a sleeping sibling?!
Or alternatively sat in your parents room on your own until they decide to go to bed and throw you out of there as well.
Doesn’t sound much fun for a 13 year old to me

Is there enough room to split the master bedroom into two small bedrooms for the DC and you and DH take their old room? I think she needs a space that’s her own where she can relax.

I don’t think this is sad whatsoever. She’s 13, she still needs boundaries and definitely needs to go to bed earlier than 10pm on a school night! You need time to yourselves sometimes as well plus it isn’t even as if she’s sitting there quietly watching whatever you two want is she, sounds like she’s even dictating what goes on TV. Nah, she’s a child and you’re the parent so you need to set the boundaries.

Just enjoy her company and make evenings a family thing. Before you know it she'll be out with her friends or off to college and you'll miss her being around in the evenings.

@FoodieToo

Seriously , sent to bed with a bag of jellies?

At 15😯

@HerMammy

MN is the only place where I come across parents who devote 24/7 to kids, it’s not sad that parents want and should have sometime to themselves. Red carpet treatment of kids isn’t doing them any favours except teaching them to be selfish and expect to have their way all of the time. It’s sad that a grown man is scared of his DD13 and capitulates to her for fear she ‘falls out with him’ that’s pathetic.

It's called family time. As a pp said, only five more years and she might be off . It's time to enjoy being a family, not , still, an exclusive couple... you'll have plenty of lonely years ahead to look forward to.

When I was 13 my parents didn't give me a bedtime. I'd often be downstairs watching telly with them, though I did sometimes retreat to my room to read or play a game. To be fair, this was a while ago though, so screens were less of a thing back then.

Still, I think I'd have been upset at that age if my parents had sent me upstairs

God, PP sending a 15 and 12 year old to bed.... so mean. So sad that people are so reluctant to hang out with their teenagers.

@FizzyPink ... Not every night, but every now and then ... Why not?

This is interesting to me.

I’m a single parent so it’s a bit different, but I find I need time all by myself before I can go to bed/ sleep.

I’ve got a dd 12 and fortunately she is still happy to go to her at 9/9.30. If she starts going to bed much later, I do feel ill have to “sign off” from parenting at a certain time, as I won’t get any down time!

@1Morewineplease
Family time? every night all night, it’s healthy to have time in your own, being a. family doesn’t mean spending every waking moment together.

@Rabbitheadlights just don't be too surprised when your DDs aren't close to you when they are adults, will you...

My DD 15 and DS 12 are given a filled drinks bottle (the kind they take to school ) and a packet of crisps, chocolate biscuit and mini bag of haribo at 8:30/9pm. (They usually only eat the crisps) then they have no reason to come downstairs unless they have a problem. We all need downtime even parents!

Yikes.

There I times I want to watch a show that isn’t kid appropriate, so I go in my room and watch my show. As your kids get are older they are going to be up later. You need to carve out spaces where everyone, including the teens, can get some private relaxation space when they need it.

I think it’s sad too!! I have to drag my teen and pre teen out of their rooms to spend time with me. And I love their company! They are young and full of life and fun (and moody sometimes too)..

Imagine sending a 15 year old to bed at 8.30 with a bag of rations and instructions not to re-appear unless it's an emergency.

Seriously OP. You had two children. What did you think was going to happen to your long relaxing evenings with DH? Your DD isn't doing anything remotely out of the question - sitting watching TV with mum and dad, pretty reasonable to be fair.

And on a side note, don't just assume OP is a step mum. Not all step mothers resent the very existence of their step children.

Now please excuse me, I've got some apples to poison, balls to cancel etc etc