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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - just been called completely irresponsible for going to stay in a hotel?

275 replies

Pivotthesofa · 15/05/2021 09:44

DH and I are late ish 30s so not been vaccinated yet.
We have a short break early this coming week in London which involves meeting friends for an afternoon tea, then staying at a lovely boutique hotel near at James park and having dinner in a restaurant on the same road

My sister has just told me that I’m completely irresponsible for still going, that I’m essentially saying I’m happy to leave 17 month old DS an orphan for the sake of a few cocktails!

I feel really upset now. It’s the first break away or night out we’ve had since I was six months pregnant as I had a bad pregnancy, and I was really looking forward to it.

DH Has an Addison Lee account through work so we were getting a car for the hours journey to the hotel and back the next day, so no public transport. We were going to be really careful etc

But DS talking about how it’s really bad for those in their 30s - the new variant - and acting like we are basically signing our own death warrant for a day away has really chilled me.

I was having a bit of a wobble anyway and was reassured by some lovely posters on here when I posted about it, but now I’m wondering if we should just cancel the whole thing. :(

AIBU to go?

OP posts:
Daphnise · 15/05/2021 18:15

The fact that you are asking for validation here means you have doubts.

I would not stay in a hotel or eat in a restaurant at the moment- who knows where people with this so called Indian variant are, and being 30 is no defence against a more aggressive variant.

However it's all a matter of judgement for you- I've lost track now but presumably none of what you plan is either illegal or against government advice?

Twizbe · 15/05/2021 18:23

Did you post this before?

You're fine and your sister is being stupid. You're not going to leave your son an orphan for gods sake!

I live in London with my 2 small kids. We're fine. I was in central London on Thursday. Took a regular LFT today that was negative.

You're fine, enjoy your trip

Iheartmysmart · 15/05/2021 18:28

Oh for goodness sake, what you are doing is completely fine. If people don’t want to go out and do perfectly legitimate activities then that’s fine but can they please stop berating the people that do. I’m off to my nearest city this week to meet up with friends and stay overnight in a hotel and can’t wait.

BusyLizzie61 · 15/05/2021 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

headintheproverbial · 15/05/2021 18:32

YANBU

Enjoy yourself.

We'll all be locked down again soon enough so enjoy it (responsibly) while you can!

ChocOrange1 · 15/05/2021 18:45

Bottom line; if I wasn't vaccinated and had a baby I would not risk everything for a weekend in a London hotel. Your lives and health belong to your baby. Guard her treasure.
For goodness sake
Would you say the same to someone who rides a motorbike to work, or who does adventurous sports such as rock climbing or jet skiing for fun, or any other low risk activity which has a very small chance of injury or death?

I hope if you had kids, you never crossed the road or went on a plane or drank alcohol or ate food from a BBQ which might have been slightly undercooked. If you did any of those things, you werent guarding your kids treasure!

Moulesvinrouge1 · 15/05/2021 19:11

@Abraxan

Moulesvinrouge

All vulnerable people and the priority groups 1-9 have now been offered their vaccine. By now the majority of those from groups 1-5 have been double vaccinated, many also from groups 6.
Those most likely to die have been offered the chance to have both vaccines.

The likelihood of the Op passing covid onto someone who is likely to die from covid is statistically very low.

I am aware of and appreciate this, although of course it’s not quite the full story. There have been lots of battles from various charities and other groups representing those with chronic conditions and disabilities that didn’t quite make the grade, including asthmatics who remain unvaccinated. There are also a huge amount of children in those groups with chronic conditions and disabilities, including many who were told to shield and who now remain unvaccinated. I agree that life needs to return to a modicum of normality, I’m just pointing out that’s it’s not quite as simple as ‘everyone who might die has been vaccinated’...
Moulesvinrouge1 · 15/05/2021 19:15

@saraclara

It’s not just about that though is it. Yes statistically the OP won’t die, but she could pass it on to someone who does. I hate the ‘I’m alright Jack’ attitude.

@Moulesvinrouge1 that logic means that no-one should go out anywhere! What is it with people freaking out because she's going to London? It's no different from her spending a couple of days in her own locality, when it comes to catching it or passing it on. Especially since she's just said they're testing before they go.

I really hope you don't postpone, OP. There is absolutely no reason to. Your sister has messed with your head on this. MN is usually very Covid wary, but the vast majority of those who've posted here are telling you to go and have a good time. That says something, frankly.

I quite agree, life does need to go on. I’m just pointing out that everyone saying ‘even if you catch it you won’t die!’ is rather missing the point that ideally you don’t want to catch it in the first place, so don’t abandon all caution; long covid is real and passing it on to someone who fared worse than you is also a risk that everyone seemed to be overlooking.
saraclara · 15/05/2021 19:28

long covid is real and passing it on to someone who fared worse than you is also a risk that everyone seemed to be overlooking.

They're not mentioning it because it's not relevant to OP's London break. The risk is no greater in London than it is where she lives. She stands the same chance of catching it whether she's in her local High street or sightseeing in London.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 15/05/2021 19:44

I'm 30 and we are going to Butlins in half term if we are still bloody allowed. I don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks at this stage and I'm not scared.

ArcheryAnnie · 15/05/2021 20:25

Would you say the same to someone who rides a motorbike to work

TBF I do side-eye bikers with dependent children. There's a reason bikers are also known as "donors". Do it before you have kids, do it after they leave home, but don't do it when they are babies and need you.

amicissimma · 15/05/2021 20:31

TfL have been taking swabs and air samples from tubes and buses for months. All negative.

Boopeedoop · 15/05/2021 20:42

I work on an ambulance. In London. Go have fun.

everydaysablessing · 15/05/2021 21:00

Not the point of the thread but how can you manage afternoon tea and dinner out? I'm W good eater but couldn't attempt this!

Snaketime · 15/05/2021 21:44

I went on holiday last month, we stayed in a self contained lodge. I have worked ridiculous hours throughout every lockdown in a shop and needed some time with my family, when I told a mum at school I had a holiday booked she told me it wasn't worth the risk. The irony being that I saw more people when I went to the shop for a loaf of bread the day we got back than I did the whole week we were away, as we live in a tourist hotspot.
The hotel will have been deep cleaned and they will be doing everything they can to make everything safe. Go and enjoy yourself just remember to social distance and you will be fine.

Abraxan · 15/05/2021 22:17

long covid is real and passing it on to someone who fared worse than you is also a risk that everyone seemed to be overlooking.

I'm not overlooking it. I have long covid. I will be in medication for life following my covid infection 6+ months ago.
I still think it's time to start living life again, and that the op is doing nothing wrong in following the latest guidelines,

Moulesvinrouge1 · 16/05/2021 04:03

@Abraxan

long covid is real and passing it on to someone who fared worse than you is also a risk that everyone seemed to be overlooking.

I'm not overlooking it. I have long covid. I will be in medication for life following my covid infection 6+ months ago.
I still think it's time to start living life again, and that the op is doing nothing wrong in following the latest guidelines,

I’m so sorry, that sounds really tough. I also think the OP should go, and I would go if I were in g by her shoes. My posts were more in response the the posters saying ‘absolutely nothing to worry about, no risk, and you won’t even get sick if you do catch it’ because much as we’d like it to be that’s not quite the full picture.
BatshitCrazyWoman · 16/05/2021 09:23

Go and enjoy OP. I live and work in London, go on trains, tubes and buses. Nothing is very busy.

I think your sister wants to project her fears onto you. You don't have to take them

I'm away for a long weekend next weekend, to a hotel. I cannot wait!

Original poster
Pivotthesofa · 16/05/2021 11:39

Thanks @BatshitCrazyWoman I’m wondering if tubes and trains will be busier this week when things open up which is why I’m undecided how to travel, i was thinking a private taxi would be less risk but am unsure now

OP posts:
ItWasLikeThatWhenIGotHere · 16/05/2021 11:46

Tubes around the West End are pretty busy IME. Not rammed but probably more crowded than you’ll feel comfortable with. Buses are less full and have the advantage that you can see how full they are at a glance before you get on. But I think if you can afford it you’ll feel more relaxed walking and taking black cabs where necessary.

ItWasLikeThatWhenIGotHere · 16/05/2021 11:47

I personally would be happy to take a train with a pre-booked seat to London and black cab it from there, but I’m not you.

jenkel · 16/05/2021 17:25

She’s probably jealous, go and have a fantastic time, we ourselves have booked a child free break in June, though we have both been vaccinated. We so need it for our sanity, what you are doing is perfectly within reason and within the law.

FredtheCatsMum · 16/05/2021 17:37

Enjoy your stay. We here in central London have very low infection rates at the moment. If you're worried about the tube try PedalMe, a cycle taxi. Very safe, in the open air and a great way to get around London. About the same price as a cab.

tommyhoundmum · 16/05/2021 17:44

Just take the recommended precautions and you will be fine.

PurplePlain · 16/05/2021 17:47

Looks like most taxi drivers are doing lateral flow tests. Not perfect but reduces the risk. If you were worried you and your friends could do tests the day before you meet.