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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - just been called completely irresponsible for going to stay in a hotel?

275 replies

Pivotthesofa · 15/05/2021 09:44

DH and I are late ish 30s so not been vaccinated yet.
We have a short break early this coming week in London which involves meeting friends for an afternoon tea, then staying at a lovely boutique hotel near at James park and having dinner in a restaurant on the same road

My sister has just told me that I’m completely irresponsible for still going, that I’m essentially saying I’m happy to leave 17 month old DS an orphan for the sake of a few cocktails!

I feel really upset now. It’s the first break away or night out we’ve had since I was six months pregnant as I had a bad pregnancy, and I was really looking forward to it.

DH Has an Addison Lee account through work so we were getting a car for the hours journey to the hotel and back the next day, so no public transport. We were going to be really careful etc

But DS talking about how it’s really bad for those in their 30s - the new variant - and acting like we are basically signing our own death warrant for a day away has really chilled me.

I was having a bit of a wobble anyway and was reassured by some lovely posters on here when I posted about it, but now I’m wondering if we should just cancel the whole thing. :(

AIBU to go?

OP posts:
Whatalottachocca · 15/05/2021 14:44

Have a lovely time and please don't let your sister,or any of the other "hystericals"out there, spoil your trip.

pepsicolagirl · 15/05/2021 14:47

We buried a friend last month who succumbed to covid19. Perfectly healthy otherwise 42yr old.

I would still go for a short break.

saraclara · 15/05/2021 14:50

@bluetongue

If two healthy 30 somethings both caught Covid and died it would be unusual enough that it would probably make the news. Maybe decide what photos of you want the Daily Mail to use before you leave for the trip Grin
That actually sums up the whole ridiculousness of your sister's comment better than any post here! That and "don't lick the waiters" has made me laugh!
Nonmaquillee · 15/05/2021 14:52

Just go and metaphorically stick two fingers up at the doom mongers. Enjoy yourself!

wotchhha · 15/05/2021 14:57

Your sister is odd. Could it be jealousy?!

I always get confused by the jealousy point?

Tal45 · 15/05/2021 15:01

Go, go, go. Who knows how long it will be before everything is shut down again. The chances of you catching and then actually dying from it are so teeny tiny.
I did think your title was going to say you'd just been called completely irresistible though :-)

ExhaustedFlamingo · 15/05/2021 15:06

My life is a bit different (x2 DC with disabilities) so in all honesty COVID hasn't changed things that much for us.

However, before having DC, I was always out and about. Nevertheless, I'm looking at everyone making lots and lots of plans the very second the lockdown rules ease, and I'm wondering what will happen - especially as the Indian variant is causing concern. Obviously the north is looking pretty worrying in certain areas, but I've also read there are pockets in London too.

As PP have said, after such a long slog to get here, I'd be inclined just to wait a little bit longer. Just reading through this thread, there are people off to London one week and Scotland the next. If the R rates has gone up to 1.1 (as they've suggested), it's not going to take long for the Indian variant to be all over the country. I would be very inclined to wait and see what happens to the infection rates first - if all holds steady, then all well and good.

Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean it's a good idea. And we know with this government they've hidden information, and made some very bad decisions.

I know most people will be rushing back out there, and I do understand why. When this subject is discussed, people are either labelled selfish or doom-mongers, which is a bit ridiculous. There are lots of people like me in the middle who think it's wise to just be a bit cautious, but equally understand why people are so desperate for normality.

Megplant · 15/05/2021 15:16

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blueangel19 · 15/05/2021 15:25

Cases are very low in London that is ridiculous. You will be super unlucky or get it. However, just take care of the social distance, mask, etc..

Figgygal · 15/05/2021 15:27

It’s not a choice I’d make sure unvaccinated but she didn’t need to share her opinion in quite that manner

Bakedbeanhead · 15/05/2021 15:30

We are going up for the day next weekend,super excited ! Just go, enjoy yourselves, plenty of hand gel and don’t lick the waiters! Grin

BonnieDundee · 15/05/2021 15:32

You probably have more chance of being run over by a bus than both of you getting covid, both of you dying and leaving your DC an orphan. Your sister is completely ridiculous.

Sounds like the government's Project Fear has worked well on her Grin

Legoninjago1 · 15/05/2021 15:34

@hilbil21

Your sister is bananas.
This is the nice version of what I was going to say. Smile
harridan50 · 15/05/2021 15:36

I am currently in a hotel about to start the nc500 tomorrow for a 2 week tour of the scottish highlands. I am vaccinated but am just planning to have a lovely time if we are not careful we will all be isolating forever. i was in london last week to see my daughter and ate outside please go and enjoy yourself

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 15/05/2021 15:45

I'd go. Enjoy it while you can - if it all kicks off again you'll regret not having had a lovely weekend away.
Can you get on your health authority's reserve list for the vaccine and maybe get it before you go? Late 30s seems like you should have been vaccinated already - where I live the county are doing the 20 year olds!

Original poster
Pivotthesofa · 15/05/2021 17:05

We are only up to 38 year olds here and we are 37 so we should be next. Even if I got it this week it takes three weeks to kick in doesn’t it so wouldn’t afford us much extra protection I don’t think ?

I’m going to go at the moment but if anything radically changes in the next few days we will postpone

OP posts:
Adventureswith · 15/05/2021 17:07

Tell your stupid sister to wind her neck in.
She’s putting her personal anxieties into you.

Moulesvinrouge1 · 15/05/2021 17:44

@TeacupDrama

4.5 million cases out of 65 million is much less than10% so even after 15 months of covid 93% of the population haven't had it. The risk to healthy people in their 30s is miniscule so tiny that at low levels of covid that it is much less than their chance of dying from something else in the next 12 months
It’s not just about that though is it. Yes statistically the OP won’t die, but she could pass it on to someone who does. I hate the ‘I’m alright Jack’ attitude.
Original poster
Pivotthesofa · 15/05/2021 17:49

Just to clarify (and I know this doesn't mean I don't have it and won't spread it although we will do LF tests before going) we are in an area with very low rates and going to an area that has very low rates

OP posts:
Abraxan · 15/05/2021 17:53

Moulesvinrouge

All vulnerable people and the priority groups 1-9 have now been offered their vaccine. By now the majority of those from groups 1-5 have been double vaccinated, many also from groups 6.
Those most likely to die have been offered the chance to have both vaccines.

The likelihood of the Op passing covid onto someone who is likely to die from covid is statistically very low.

lalafafa · 15/05/2021 17:56

she's crackers, you know Add Lee is nearly double the price through the account?

TurquoiseDress · 15/05/2021 18:01

You're sister is being very dramatic & way over the top!

Go away for the hotel stay and enjoy it guilt free!

The hospitality industry needs as many customers as it can get to continue & survive, hotels are opening up to leisure customers soon/now

3scape · 15/05/2021 18:01

That's a huge leap on her part! Everyone's different about getting out again for dates after having kids. Did she leave it til later? I wasn't able to when the children were toddlers but I know it's not that odd either.

Egghead81 · 15/05/2021 18:04

@Pivotthesofa

Just to clarify (and I know this doesn't mean I don't have it and won't spread it although we will do LF tests before going) we are in an area with very low rates and going to an area that has very low rates
Irrelevant You’re allowed to You don’t have to justify a damn thing
saraclara · 15/05/2021 18:09

It’s not just about that though is it. Yes statistically the OP won’t die, but she could pass it on to someone who does. I hate the ‘I’m alright Jack’ attitude.

@Moulesvinrouge1 that logic means that no-one should go out anywhere! What is it with people freaking out because she's going to London? It's no different from her spending a couple of days in her own locality, when it comes to catching it or passing it on. Especially since she's just said they're testing before they go.

I really hope you don't postpone, OP. There is absolutely no reason to. Your sister has messed with your head on this. MN is usually very Covid wary, but the vast majority of those who've posted here are telling you to go and have a good time. That says something, frankly.

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