My 16yo DS and his girlfriend (Part 3)

[workworkworkugh]

Link to part 2:

My 16yo DS and his girlfriend (Part 2) http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4223467-my-16yo-ds-and-his-girlfriend-part-2

Someone recommended I start another thread. I was a bit hesitant to do so I will admit.
I truly thought this would have been over in January, but here we are

Her Dad (and Mum) have been on the receiving end of her personality disorder abs her control since she was old enough to walk abs talk so are relieved that your son has come along to relieve them of their burden.

They are shit at parenting abs have long since given up - now they just manage her behaviour. They are hanging onto your son tightly because they are grooming him to take the responsibility for her own off them.

Seen it in my own family. It's poisonous.

Keep going OP. I 100% agree with all advice re school. They need to closely look at their cack handed safeguarding here and to give themselves a firm shake for nearly colluding with your DS's abuser.

*and (not abs)

My autocorrect changes all my 'and''s!

Yes, the school email is outrageous.
They made a mistake, & then still replied to a non family member.
I sincerely hope they call in her parents & tell them she needs councelling

Right, I have a messenger message from the Mum waiting for me, I haven't opened it yet, so it's been an hour since she sent it and now she's texted me

Hold your horses woman, I'm busy for crying out loud.
We're taking bets what they could say lol (you've gotta laugh or you'll cry right?!)

I dread to think what it says! She's utterly mad. They all bloody are!

It was nothing special, she's made him a birthday cake.

Well they have to isolate so you can't go and get the cake anyway.

Oooooh what would you respond to her?

Tell her DD to stay out your sons business,

Guesses on what it will say....
DD is really missing him, does he want to isolate with us? Eh - no!
DD is ill! Oh dear!
DD is pregnant hence hospital visit - oh fuck!

What guesses have you got?

I cross posted!

Lovely but people who are isolating shouldn't be preparing food for anyone else.

“That’s very kind of you but as you are isolating, we will not be able to use it”

Ha!

‘I’ve made him a cake myself, since I’m actually his mum, but thanks’.

Do the parents know about her emailing the school?

I wonder if the parents know about her emailing the school and are shitting themselves about it, and are now trying to suck up to you so you don’t complain further?

I think I'd respond something like "lovely thought but no thanks don't want to risk eating infected cake, hope you enjoy it!"

@Beefcurtains79

‘I’ve made him a cake myself, since I’m actually his mum, but thanks’.

Do the parents know about her emailing the school?

Yes, doesn't she think you might have made him a cake?... how about, "This is a perfect opportunity for my son to enjoy his family & home, where he belongs leave us alone 😬" She us trying to smooth out the problems with dd & your ds. I expect its like a wasp nest isolating at home with her loco daughter

DH replied. Passive aggressive maybe (there were a few messages before this).
DS is in an awful mood with us and is refusing to celebrate his birthday with us, says if we organise anything he just won't go 😢

Have you replied to her?

Ah, sorry, just saw you did

I'm deadly serious I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.
She is meant to be isolating not preparing food for other people. My friend was told her isolating 6yo was allowed to set the table or anything. My sons cake going to nursery had to be shop bought and isolated for 3 days

A few photos of said cake is all that's required.

Thing is if you do nothing she will weaponise that and say "see they don't care, if only you could have been with me" and if you do arrange something then that will be wrong and "going against his wishes".

Personally I would rather be accused of the latter. I would tell him no celebration is not an option and for him to come up with a plan of what he wants to do.

An interesting cake? It’s probably one of those family photo cakes, and she’ll have scribbled out all of your faces with a carving knife.

OP - I have been following, and just wanted to send you my best. Others have given you some good advice and support here.

I'm absolutely shocked at the school - words are failing me. Wow. Just wow. Please let us know how this goes when you take it further.

As for the cake - know you're way beyond this, but I'd be tempted to respond, "We appreciate such sweet sentiments and the thought and care that has gone into the preparations of such a beautiful cake that we are sure has been made. However, please tell 'Miss' to stick her COVID-infested cake up her arse."

I am sorry that son is refusing to spend his birthday with you, hopefully, he will come around.

@Mummyratbag

Thing is if you do nothing she will weaponise that and say "see they don't care, if only you could have been with me" and if you do arrange something then that will be wrong and "going against his wishes".

Personally I would rather be accused of the latter. I would tell him no celebration is not an option and for him to come up with a plan of what he wants to do.

This is exactly what will happen. It's a lose/lose situation. We will do something, even if he does sit there all mopey.

DH followed up with the school today and they haven't spoken to her yet as she's not there, hopefully next week. We don't want them to just forget about it.

OP she really should not be preparing food for your Ds if she is self isolating. Her parents should be aware of this.

That girl is fucking nuts and so are her parents. No wonder nobody likes her. I hope your son will see sense and this isolation period might start to break the shackles a bit.