Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My 16yo DS and his girlfriend (Part 3)

999 replies

workworkworkugh · 14/05/2021 22:24

Link to part 2:

My 16yo DS and his girlfriend (Part 2) http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4223467-my-16yo-ds-and-his-girlfriend-part-2

Someone recommended I start another thread. I was a bit hesitant to do so I will admit.
I truly thought this would have been over in January, but here we are Confused

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/05/2021 12:22

Just checking in to stay on the right thread and remind you of how well you handled today's game situation.
I agree that it would be a good plan to facilitate contact with your 16yo and the younger siblings - if they get on well generally, they might be a real pull to come back.

Tistheseason17 · 15/05/2021 12:30

Still here listening and offering support. I think you did the right thing when you saw him. He'll remember the positive conversation Flowers

FelicityPike · 15/05/2021 12:31

Following

Toothpaste123 · 15/05/2021 12:33

Well done op. Hope he'll come back home to his family soon..

nicenicenice · 15/05/2021 12:36

Hope you're ok OP. I think you sound like a great mum. When I look back at my past relationships I could often have been described as obsessive... And then when that relationship stopped serving me I would often just up and leave. I've been diagnosed wjth adhd recently and it explains my impulsivity and emotional disregulation. I don't know what is up with his GF but I'd lay money on her rejecting your son at some point in the future. At the moment this is all novelty but it won't always be that and she will need new stimulation to get a fix from... I think being in the background as you were at the game so your son can see you are there for him no matter what is so powerful. A light touch... unlike her.

DioneTheDiabolist · 15/05/2021 12:41

I'm glad you saw your son at his match @workworkworkugh. I hope it works out for you all.Flowers

Imtootired · 15/05/2021 12:42

I read the other threads today. I’m also in Australia but I don’t have any personal experience with this type of thing. I’m just wondering if there is a domestic abuse organisation you can contact? Because that’s what it is 100%. Threatening to cheat and hurt themselves is abusive, manipulative behaviour and it could ruin his life if this person does get pregnant then for the next 18 years she will be playing games with him and not letting him see his child unless he does what she wants. I was just thinking that next time she does something completely crazy if there is someone from an organisation that has been through similar that can talk to him and wake him up to what it is.

debwong · 15/05/2021 13:13

I am furious on your behalf, OP. Hoping your DS sees sense. I'm sure he will but it may take him a while to admit it.

eviesmum · 15/05/2021 13:52

...

cameocat · 15/05/2021 13:57

I hope you are looking after yourself OP and your brothers. I think he'll return when he's ready. Doesn't make it easy for you in the meantime.

ArchieStar · 15/05/2021 14:27

Glad he went to his match. Look after yourself OP 💖

babbaloushka · 15/05/2021 14:36

Sounds like the game was a good outcome. Fingers crossed you have him home soon.

JudyGemstone · 15/05/2021 14:39

That’s great that your last contact with him was a calm, positive one. Keep going how you’re going and look after yourselves Flowers

Joinedjustforthispost · 15/05/2021 14:40

You handled it brilliant op , I’m surprised the mother and girlfriend were not in attendance to stake there claim on your ds

Mummyratbag · 15/05/2021 14:55

joinedjustforthispost I thought the same - fingers crossed the novelty of having "won" is already wearing off

CoraPirbright · 15/05/2021 15:46

Absolutely - I am also surprised the mad mother and daughter weren’t there. But you supplied an excellent, calm, light and drama-free counterpoint to life with them for your ds. Keep doing this OP and he will see where the problems and drama lie.....and it isn't with you.

itsgettingwierd · 15/05/2021 15:51

Sounds like you uncles the game brilliantly.

And it would t have gone I priced by him you were there and they weren't.

You said nothing to him and they say all sorts of guilt tripping things.

diddl · 15/05/2021 15:53

"Absolutely - I am also surprised the mad mother and daughter weren’t there."

Yes-although doubtless Op's son will get grilled on any interaction he dared to have with his parents!

nanbread · 15/05/2021 15:54

Well done OP. I do wonder why the GF wasn't there.

I really hope by the time this thread is full, this drama is over for you xx

Notaroadrunner · 15/05/2021 16:00

That was a good thing to do today. While it's hard, you are best to keep chat to sport, ask how school/job is, but not mention her or her nutjob family.

Blacktothepink · 15/05/2021 16:05

Hope this is resolved soon op Flowers

Mulhollandmagoo · 15/05/2021 17:24

You did amazingly at your son's game OP, I bet it was really hard for you, but now that first initial fave to fave meet up between you all is done, hopefully communication will open up more freely between you now, now he knows you love him and things aren't awkward

Mulhollandmagoo · 15/05/2021 17:25

Face to face even...

wingingit987 · 15/05/2021 18:31

Following. I think your doing a great job OP. Xx

ClubTropicanaVIP · 15/05/2021 20:16

@workworkworkugh I feel for you so much and I was very emotional reading your post about seeing him at the game. That must’ve been so difficult. I feel you are doing absolutely the right thing and one day your DS will be back with you all , in the loving home he knows is best for him. Just hope it’s not too long for you and the rest of your family. Flowers