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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My 16yo DS and his girlfriend (Part 3)

999 replies

workworkworkugh · 14/05/2021 22:24

Link to part 2:

My 16yo DS and his girlfriend (Part 2) http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4223467-my-16yo-ds-and-his-girlfriend-part-2

Someone recommended I start another thread. I was a bit hesitant to do so I will admit.
I truly thought this would have been over in January, but here we are Confused

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Alfiemoon1 · 15/05/2021 20:58

Sorry you are still going through this so are we as mentioned on one of your other threads we are in a similar situation with dd being in an abusive controlling relationship but she is 19 we just have to leave her to it and remind her we are always there for. The boyfriend keeps trying to stir up trouble cause family arguments but we don’t react as it ends up with us being the bad people it’s heartbreaking she’s doing a full time university course and now working 4 shifts a week but still skint as she’s supporting him while he doesn’t work. So I feel your and your families pain

Marshy86 · 15/05/2021 21:38

Hope your ok OP? It sounds like you handled the game really well x

Milliepossum · 16/05/2021 01:13

I’m glad it’s progressing to a positive interaction and that he still went to his sport without her. This seems better than a week ago. 🌸

BlueVelvetStars · 16/05/2021 04:48

it's interesting that she wasn't at that Game.

Glad it's gone smoothly OP 🌸

PeachyLife · 16/05/2021 06:36

Have been following your post. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you and your husband to hold it together. You certainly have shown patience and love during this trying time. Sending you positive thoughts and strength to work this out. All of us here are rooting for your family to be reunited soon,

GinaJaffacake · 16/05/2021 14:13

Glad you had such a lighthearted, drama-free interaction with him. Flowers

dapsnotplimsolls · 16/05/2021 15:19

Following.

JeffreyJefferson · 16/05/2021 15:19

you did the right thing 🤍

Twoforthree · 16/05/2021 20:26

Yes, I wonder why she wasn’t at the game.

Original poster
workworkworkugh · 16/05/2021 20:57

She was at work, that's why she wasn't at the game Smile

OP posts:
BlueVelvetStars · 16/05/2021 21:08

@workworkworkugh

She was at work, that's why she wasn't at the game Smile
bonus 🌸
SunshineCake · 16/05/2021 22:05

I hope you get to see him again soon.

Iloveacurry · 16/05/2021 22:24

So she can do things/have a job/go places without him, but he’s not without a shit load of aggro?! He must realise that’s not normal.

ArnoldBoo · 17/05/2021 08:56

Hi, is this the week where she stays with her Dad and hopefully your DS will come back to you? Fingers crossed you will get some time with him this week.

sconenotscon · 17/05/2021 20:26

Just come across this thread OP and my heart is breaking for you. What an utterly crap situation you're in Thanks

I truly hope at some point soon you can find a resolution to all this. The teen years are so difficult

CookieClub · 18/05/2021 12:49

Glad you had chance to hug your son after his match. Can't believe this is still going on though, sending stength OP! Flowers

youvegottenminuteslynn · 18/05/2021 14:19

Hope your week is going alright OP Thanks

JeffreyJefferson · 19/05/2021 12:04

thinking of you op Cake

Fingersstuckwithsuperglue · 19/05/2021 12:15

This has been heartbreaking to read. You love and want the best for your son but he doesn’t see that yet. Hope the tide is turning in your favour soon op. Flowers

contrary13 · 19/05/2021 12:35

Is your son staying with the girlfriend's mother, @workworkworkugh, this week, or has he gone with her to the father's?

You suggested that the father is approachable and rational - can you not have a chat with him and explain your worries about this relationship/his daughter's mental welfare?

Original poster
workworkworkugh · 19/05/2021 13:25

@contrary13 he is with her at her Dads. Turns out the dad has his head buried in the sand just as much.
In fact he (apparently) told DS to stay there this week and in separate bedrooms to prove that DH and I were wrong in our msg to them.

OP posts:
Allwokedup · 19/05/2021 14:21

@workworkworkugh unbelievable. The girls parents sound actually bonkers.

contrary13 · 19/05/2021 16:21

Please don't take this the wrong way, but if the girlfriend's parents believe she's not having sex... they're deluded. More so than their manipulative daughter, I'm afraid.

You have to think of how to play the long game, right now. And this is coming from someone with a PD daughter - who had a boyfriend who literally ran to the other side of the country to get away from her. In my experience, the more you distance yourself, the lighter you keep each meeting with your son (and her, fake it until you make it...) the better. She will lose interest. Chances are she has already begun to.

Just catch your son when he falls.

Flowers
PinkSatinMoon · 19/05/2021 17:53

Her parents have taken over your DS's parenting and telling you to back off in not so many words.

Your Son needs a reality check and fast.

RaeRae84 · 19/05/2021 18:35

Just came across your threads. Wow, so shocking. Sending love from the UK. I hope he wakes up soon enough to her behaviour and you find some peace for your own sanity 💗

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