I've been bad - damaged someone's car in carpark

[GuiltyMoo]

I came back to my car in a supermarket car park to find that someone had parked their car with their passenger side way too close to my drivers side. So close that I couldn't get past their wingmirror to get to the door. So I had to bend my wingmirror in to squeeze past. Then I had to do contortions to open the door and then get in. I accidentally knocked their wingmirror out of position and dented and scratched their door doing so.

I confess that at that point I was so furious that I let my car door bang again against the other car. I then drove out of the space, stopped, got out and went back to put their wingmirror back in place.

I am now at home feeling super guilty, waiting for a knock on my door from the Police after they track me down from the carpark CCTV.

So, AIBU for squeezing into my car and causing the damage? Should I have gone back to the supermarket and had them call the driver to move their car so I could get in mine?

I'm a big worrier, and this will pop into my head for years to come, as another moment of shame.

Cars have got bigger but parking spaces haven't.

I get that it's really annoying when this happens. Maybe you could go into the supermarket and ask for an announcement to be put out for the owner of the other car to come move it. And if you can't navigate a gap between cars, and trust me I know it's difficult then always pick a space on the end. It's what I do now. Saves my unnecessary rage at strangers.

This is crazy.
Just because someone does something thoughtless that inconveniences you doesn't mean you have a free pass to do something malicious (and criminal) to them out of spite, anger, a warped sense of justice, impatience, or anything else. More to the point in this particular instance: you had other options.

You made so many bad decisions here OP.

1. You interpreted the actions of the other driver as being malicious when in all likelihood they were thoughtless rather than deliberate about their parking. (Another alternative interpretation that's possible is that the other driver had some reason to park too close to you.)

1. You acted rashly based on that snap assumption, and on your evidently poor emotion regulation skills.

You had several options upon discovering you could not get into your vehicle in the usual way. As othera have mentioned, there include:
a) waiting for the other driver to return
b) entering via another door
c) making an announcement in the store

You chose to go straight to the option of last resort -- risk damaging the other vehicle by forcing your way into your car when you know there's not enough room.

1. After damaging the vehicle, you thought "hell yeah, i they're a prick, I'm gonna damage it more for no reason -- just because i can". And then you acted on that thought, committing a crime for the sole reason that it would upset/cost/inconvenience the other driver. You didn't even benefit from it!

1. After deliberately damaginh the other car, you exited your vehicle -- at which point you had another opportunity to make an announcement in store, or at least leave your details on the other car's windscreen or whatever. You chose to do nothing, except a token action to communicate to that driver "i know i damaged your car, i don't give a shit".

1. Then you left the scene.

No amount of mere inconvenience or annoyance allows us to retaliate with criminal damage. I think my neighbour is really a twat for having windchimes up that totally ruin what could be relaxing afternoons in my garden. I know I can't just hop the fence, smash the fucking windchimes and dig up all her flowers just to show her, though. Imagine if everybody reacted to small inconveniences with anger, poor judgement and gratuitous, childish acts of retaliation?!?

I put very, very minor scratches on a car in the school car park. I went in to give my details to reception to pass on. It turned out to be the in school examiner. I thought she would be fine with me paying to have it buffed out as it was barely noticeable... She called me the next day and said I damaged her wing mirror, which I know 100% I didn't touch, and the bill was nearly £600. Wish I kept my mouth shut and drove off.

@Macaroni46

Really don't understand all these replies. The other car owner was a dick for parking so close that you couldn't open your door. No excuse for that. Why should OP have to enter her car via the passenger side? Fuck that. I think in real life a lot of people would've done what you did OP. MN is spectacularly sanctimonious sometimes!

It could have been done by accident you know.

Have you never pulled out on someone, cut a corner, gone a bit too fast or slow, realised you're hogging the middle lane, forgot to indicate or any of the other driving crimes that mark someone as a dick but we're actually due to a moment of thoughtlessness or preoccupation?

Why jump to the conclusion that the driver saw that she'd parked too close, shrugged, cackled evilly and walked off?

We'd all be better off if a few more people could at least attempt to see things from a less egocentric view.

I worked in car insurance and claims for years.
Intentional damage (as described by OP) ‘by this point I was so furious I let the door bang’ is criminal damage and would indeed be dealt with by the police no doubt resulting in a caution on records and a fine.

Most supermarket/ shopping centre car parks do have CCTV now so I think OP has a pretty 50/50 chance of a knock on her door and frankly don’t think it would be undeserved.

People get so shirty about parking issues like this but let me reiterate something very clearly for you *IF BOTH CARS WERE WITHIN THE WHITE LINES THEN NO ONE HAS ‘parked like a dick’ END OF’

Drivers are only entitled to the floor space within their own set of white lines so the owness is you to ensure you’re vehicle, of your body, isn’t so large that you can’t get in and out of your doors without needing extra space. Park slightly to the left of your space so that you have a little more room on your driver side, even if the person next to you parks that way too.

The number of times we got people coming through raging about other people parking too close to them and it’s just like ‘look spaces are small and half the U.K. drive larger than average cars it’s not ‘I was here first so you shouldn’t have squeezed into the space next to me’ if you can’t manage with the allocated space in your spot then you/your vehicle are the issue

Couldn’t you have returned to the shop and asked them to put a call out on the tannoy to move their car as yours was inaccessible? Would have inconvenienced the owner and made your point!

Honestly I'd bet my house that if OP had said she parked far too close to someone in a car park, so much so that the other person couldn't get into their car properly, she'd come out to damage to her car from said person getting into theirs and that she was pissed off and thought the person should have waited for her or announced it over the shop tannoy... Everyone would be saying things like 'why should they have to wait for you', 'thats what happens when you park too close', 'natural consequences' etc...

I'm not saying OP was right but honestly I would bet everything I own that the responses would be so different if she were the one who'd parked too close.

And those saying 'this happened to me, I was parked fine but someone damaged my car costing me £600' well it didn't happen to you then did it, unless you're admitting to parking far too close to the car next to you.

I really hope the owner has a lovely video of you doing it to take to the police OP. If you did this to my car, it would have a lovely record of you in HD.

@vimtosogood

Cars have got bigger but parking spaces haven't.

You don't have to own a big car. There are small cars.

What is so ridiculous about the OP's statement is that she didn't create more space by banging her door against the other car trying to get into hers.
Unless she's the world's strongest woman, banging her car door was not going to move the other car anywhere!

And although she says the car was over the line, we don't know how much. An inch? A foot? Who knows.

She says she is overweight, so the space available might have been perfectly okay for someone else to get in their car.

All those people defending her- would you throw a brick in your neighbour's window if they did something to annoy you? It's all criminal damage.

@GuiltyMoo

So as not to confuse people, I am GuiltyMoo, Guiltymoo and CwidlyDoo. I have had a few name change fails.

I will be reverting to another name if I post any other thread or respond to other ones.

As I said I will be confessing all, as is my innate nature.

I am well and truly contrite. So I really mean it this time, no more posts from me about this matter.

Good to hear it OP.

So strange that you had none of these Damascene moments earlier. You damaged the car, both accidentally & intentionally, drove off without leaving a note, posted on MN, robustly defended yourself & then flounced.

At no point did you accept you should have behaved differently.

A short time later, the MN response has convinced you that you were wrong, you've contacted the supermarket & 101 & will be following up.

I mean, good. But odd you so dramatically shifted position.

My car was damaged this week in a supermarket no note.

But it probably wasn't you. I was in a parent bay (wider) and the damage was down 3 panels and the drivers side wheel arch.

Wtf is wrong with people.

Sorry I'm on your side lol. Why do people do it? I parked somewhere once when my son was a baby, I made sure I left enough room to get his car seat in when I got back. I came out and someone had parked that close I could barely open the door, so I had to put my son in his car seat on the floor while I moved my car forward!

I can't see them pursuing it to be honest, especially if they know they parked too close to you. I've driven around with dents and scratches on my car, it's not something I can't get annoyed about.

I think it's pretty naive to think that criminal damage wouldn't be followed up by most people heartofglass. I don't care about a few dents of my own making, but to arrive back to find deliberate damage is very upsetting.

[quote GuiltyMoo]@NoSquirrels

My car is old and the edge of the door is bare metal. Moving back to open my door, I knocked against their wingmirror. Trying to open the door wide enough for me to squeeze in needed a lot of effort resulting in pressure on their door.

But silly me, I should have used a lot more contortions getting this old, fat and arthritic body of mine through the passenger door of my tiny car and over into the driver's seat.

But I hear everyone. I was in the wrong and deserve punishment.[/quote]
OP, you sound like you feel are being unfairly judged here.

You're not. What you did was despicable. You have no idea why they parked so close. Whatever the reason, it doesn't give you the right to bang your door into the side of the car. Wtaf???? That could cause hundreds of pounds of damage.

41% of people on mumsnet think it's ok to intentionally bash your car door into another car because it parked too close????????????????

People are shit.

I had a van park so close to me in an EMPTY carpark that I had to struggle over from the passenger side.
I covered the handles and windscreen in the only thing I had to hand. Suncream.
Inconvenience me, I'll Inconvenience you.

CCTV will most likely pick this up and then you will be contacted

@Sillyduckseverywhere

I had a van park so close to me in an EMPTY carpark that I had to struggle over from the passenger side. I covered the handles and windscreen in the only thing I had to hand. Suncream. Inconvenience me, I'll Inconvenience you.

Were they in your parking space?

@Sillyduckseverywhere

I had a van park so close to me in an EMPTY carpark that I had to struggle over from the passenger side. I covered the handles and windscreen in the only thing I had to hand. Suncream. Inconvenience me, I'll Inconvenience you.

Holy fuck.

You're certifiable.

@tentimesaday

41% of people on mumsnet think it's ok to intentionally bash your car door into another car because it parked too close????????????????

People are shit.

I know, it is isn’t it. It’s unbelievable how thuggish some folks can be.

@Sillyduckseverywhere

I had a van park so close to me in an EMPTY carpark that I had to struggle over from the passenger side. I covered the handles and windscreen in the only thing I had to hand. Suncream. Inconvenience me, I'll Inconvenience you.

Wow, you really showed them! Grow up.

You're certifiable.
I agree, certainly if the van was not over the line.

@kowari Partially yes. They would have had to get out of the van on the passenger side they were that close.
Also it was an inner city multistory car park. Fairly deserted. Walking over to my car was scary once I'd realised what had happened. After all why would someone do that unless it was for nefarious reasons?
I got the carpark supervisor over with me in the end because I was scared of what was waiting for me.
Once I was safely in I was fucking furious. Amazing how far a tube of factor 30 will squirt from a car window. Especially when it's 6 fucking inches from it's target