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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've been bad - damaged someone's car in carpark

368 replies

GuiltyMoo · 14/05/2021 17:02

I came back to my car in a supermarket car park to find that someone had parked their car with their passenger side way too close to my drivers side. So close that I couldn't get past their wingmirror to get to the door. So I had to bend my wingmirror in to squeeze past. Then I had to do contortions to open the door and then get in. I accidentally knocked their wingmirror out of position and dented and scratched their door doing so.

I confess that at that point I was so furious that I let my car door bang again against the other car. I then drove out of the space, stopped, got out and went back to put their wingmirror back in place.

I am now at home feeling super guilty, waiting for a knock on my door from the Police after they track me down from the carpark CCTV.

So, AIBU for squeezing into my car and causing the damage? Should I have gone back to the supermarket and had them call the driver to move their car so I could get in mine?

I'm a big worrier, and this will pop into my head for years to come, as another moment of shame.

OP posts:
MIC2689 · 14/05/2021 20:36

I cannot believe 40% of people say it's fine to cause damage to another car and then just drive off. That is a crime you know. The person will likely obtain the CCTV footage from the supermarket and I hope they report it to the police. People park like twats yes but if you can't get out of a space (or into your car) you don't just smash up their car. What.

HTH1 · 14/05/2021 20:36

I’m a worrier too OP so understand how you feel. Realistically, they are unlikely to contact you (though would have been very unlikely if you hadn’t gone back to adjust their wing mirror which suggested there was a problem if caught on CCTV).

TopBlogger · 14/05/2021 20:37

Not sure Guiltymoo/Moo has got the hang of name changing Grin especially as they have used a completely different user name mid way too

MangosteenSoda · 14/05/2021 20:38

Apart from all the slanging (OP being too fat to ‘find another way’), I think this thread sheds a light on how inconsiderate some drivers are and how precious those drivers are about their cars.

I would never deliberately damage anyone’s property and I would do my best not to damage it by accident, whatever the circumstances. But I wouldn’t be late for a child pick up/appointment/other commitment to track down an inconsiderate parker. I wouldn’t hang around in the rain or wait with my autistic child for someone to reappear etc. I wouldn’t expect someone to do that for me.

I probably accidentally park too close to the line sometimes when there’s no car in the adjoining space - but not over the line. To do that when a car is already there is being oblivious at best. Loads of cars block pavements, block people in and are generally left in really inconsiderate ways.

I don’t think a car or any piece of property trumps someone’s safety, schedule (school pick up / hospital appointment for eg). I’d do my best to cause no damage, but I’d also prioritise being on my way.

Cantrecall · 14/05/2021 20:39

@Iheartmysmart I totally agree

And also all the people saying just climb in the other side lol WHY should you have to do this! People just shouldn’t park like twats. It’s happened to me so many times and every time I have to clamber over the front of the car to get in it enrages me 😂. Never ever ever have I done this to someone I will park further away if I have to rather than be the dick that blocks someone getting in.

Tough about the damage it’s their own fault

littlepattilou · 14/05/2021 20:40

I am a bit confused about the name too. Is Guiltymoo the same as GuiltyMoo? Well, I am assuming so....

@Guiltymoo @GuiltyMoo I think you have done wrong yeah, but as I said, we all do things we regret in the heat of the moment. Good for you for deciding to come clean. If there was CCTV footage, you could really be in trouble. Confessing first is a good idea.

And I am sorry you have received so much vitriol on here. You did a bit of a shitty thing, (and you know that I think!) and you did come across as a bit annoyed that people said yeah 'YABU, what a terrible thing to do!!!' But the pile-on on here is ridiculous, and the thread has turned toxic, with posters turning on each other now!

Original poster
Guiltymoo · 14/05/2021 20:41

@CwidlyDoo

I'm only back to answer the question about the car space lines. As I do, I parked well within my space leaving extra room on the driver's side in case anybody parked on the edge of their space.

So yes the other park was not parked within their lines but well outside it and into my space. They crossed their lines.

However, the consensus is that however they parked is immaterial. I am in the wrong. I accept that.

Final post.

My post when forgetting to name change.
OP posts:
Original poster
GuiltyMoo · 14/05/2021 20:43

@CwidlyDoo

I'm only back to answer the question about the car space lines. As I do, I parked well within my space leaving extra room on the driver's side in case anybody parked on the edge of their space.

So yes the other park was not parked within their lines but well outside it and into my space. They crossed their lines.

However, the consensus is that however they parked is immaterial. I am in the wrong. I accept that.

Final post.

Sorry, keep getting mixed up with my name changes. This is mine.
OP posts:
LeilaLiesLow · 14/05/2021 20:43

[quote NotSoLongGoodbye]@Blossomtoes - yeah cars are pricey but why worry about a few dents / scratches if it doesn't affect the performance or safety. Loose stones from roads chip cars, most scratches can be buffed out. I don't get why people get so stressed about their car looking pristine. I think some builders working on our house scratched our car but in the general scheme of things it doesn't matter. Just glad they did a good job fixing something important[/quote]
That is your personal opinion @NotSoLongGoodbye

The law says otherwise.

It's damage to personal property with intent.

'A few scratches' can cost hundreds of pounds to fix or devalue a car for resale.

Original poster
GuiltyMoo · 14/05/2021 20:44

@Guiltymoo

The combined power of mumsnet opinion and my own conscious has worked.

I have this evening tried to contact the supermarket to leave my details and the police on 101 to report myself. I have not been able to do so yet. I will however, make sure this is done within 24 hours as required by law. I have read elsewhere that this is required by law, which I was unaware of previously.

I will accept the consequences of my actions, despite the selfish, idiotic parking of the other vehicle owner.

This is also my post.
OP posts:
Original poster
GuiltyMoo · 14/05/2021 20:56

So as not to confuse people, I am GuiltyMoo, Guiltymoo and CwidlyDoo. I have had a few name change fails. Hmm

I will be reverting to another name if I post any other thread or respond to other ones.

As I said I will be confessing all, as is my innate nature.

I am well and truly contrite. So I really mean it this time, no more posts from me about this matter.

OP posts:
Newmumatlast · 14/05/2021 21:01

I can't quite believe so many people think that this is ok. Yes inconsiderate parking isn't but criminal damage as a response really is taking it too far. You could've tried to get the person to move their car by going into the supermarket. Possibly got into another door. Even if there really were no other option but to go in you drivers door, you could've put you hand between your door and theirs (I've done this before) so as to not cause any damage. And even if that were unavoidable its the purposeful damage for me when you banged the door into their car. Appreciate you're a massive worrier but actually on this occasion you should worry about it. Sorry OP that's not likely what you were looking for.

Brefugee · 14/05/2021 21:02

you didn't stop and leave a note? you deserve all the sleepless nights you can get

Cassilis · 14/05/2021 21:03

YANBU, they should have parked properly. Sounds like you tried to get in with minimal damage.

My car has been pranged and run’d so many times I’ve lost count. No one has ever left their name and number.

BiscoffAddict · 14/05/2021 21:09

@motherloaded

You can tell from the thread who parks like a considerate human being, and who doesn't - and is worried about their car 😂.

Also guessing that includes quite a few of those parents on the school run...

My thoughts exactly! Might make them think before they park next time?
Longdistance · 14/05/2021 21:10

Hang on... I’m nearly 6 foot tall, how the fuck am I supposed to swing my 36 inch inside legs across the middle console from the passenger side? I did this whilst pregnant with a much larger car, but there is no way I could do it with my current car. Not every woman is teeny weeny, some of us are clumpy giants.

KarmaStar · 14/05/2021 21:11

Perhaps the car on the other side of the car next to yours was over the line forcing them to park close to yours or maybe they were inconsiderate.
Either way you caused criminal damage which is an arrestable offence.
You having been the victim of damage to your car in the past does not excuse your behaviour .
You could have gone into the store and asked them to tannoy the driver.
You should feel ashamed,as per your post,but then you continue to justify your actions so you're not really sorry you are just looking for validation.

BiscoffAddict · 14/05/2021 21:13

@Longdistance

Hang on... I’m nearly 6 foot tall, how the fuck am I supposed to swing my 36 inch inside legs across the middle console from the passenger side? I did this whilst pregnant with a much larger car, but there is no way I could do it with my current car. Not every woman is teeny weeny, some of us are clumpy giants.
Apparently you should climb through the boot. Or Maybe the Sun roof? Glad forbid you should damage their precious piece of metal 😉

I’ve done what the OP has done when someone has parked too close. Zero fucks given! The police haven’t arrested me yet.

BiscoffAddict · 14/05/2021 21:14

@KarmaStar

Perhaps the car on the other side of the car next to yours was over the line forcing them to park close to yours or maybe they were inconsiderate. Either way you caused criminal damage which is an arrestable offence. You having been the victim of damage to your car in the past does not excuse your behaviour . You could have gone into the store and asked them to tannoy the driver. You should feel ashamed,as per your post,but then you continue to justify your actions so you're not really sorry you are just looking for validation.
Well then maybe they should have engaged their brains and parked somewhere else then? It’s not difficult is it?🙄
ftm1x · 14/05/2021 21:18

Just me who thinks they shouldn't of parked like an inconsiderate arse? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've had my car crashed into in a car park and was pretty annoyed as they didn't leave any details but if I was over the line into the other cars space I don't think I would be as annoyed as I would feel I some what deserved it!!

Blossomtoes · 14/05/2021 21:19

[quote NotSoLongGoodbye]@Blossomtoes - yeah cars are pricey but why worry about a few dents / scratches if it doesn't affect the performance or safety. Loose stones from roads chip cars, most scratches can be buffed out. I don't get why people get so stressed about their car looking pristine. I think some builders working on our house scratched our car but in the general scheme of things it doesn't matter. Just glad they did a good job fixing something important[/quote]
Because some of us value the things we’ve paid thousands of ££ for and don’t want them damaged. Just because you don’t care about your car...

TwinkleToeMatilda · 14/05/2021 21:19

Personally I would have gone back into said supermarket and got them to read out the reg on the tanoid so the owner could move their car. I would never purposely damage someone’s vehicle.

tv86 · 14/05/2021 21:22

It's annoying but in all honestly you don't know why that other driver may have parked so close, they could have had a really bad day with things going on in their life and simply not realised what they had done. Maybe they had to park like that because of the driver at the other side being far over? if you could have got in the passenger side you should have just done that. It is mean to deliberate damage their car. I say just always try to be kind, you don't know what could just push someone over the edge.

Twolostsoulsswimminginafishbow · 14/05/2021 21:30

This has to be the most goody thread I’ve seen on here, so nasty.

christyt114 · 14/05/2021 21:34

I'm afraid I don't agree with the majority.

They were unbelievably rude and selfish to park so close you couldn't open your driver's door.

Everyone saying you should have just climbed across from the passenger side is obviously more flexible than I am! I tried this once recently and nearly impaled myself on my gear stick!

No you shouldn't have deliberately hit their car but it sounds like it was impossible for you to get in without damaging their car.

People need to learn to stop being so bloody selfish.