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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've been bad - damaged someone's car in carpark

368 replies

GuiltyMoo · 14/05/2021 17:02

I came back to my car in a supermarket car park to find that someone had parked their car with their passenger side way too close to my drivers side. So close that I couldn't get past their wingmirror to get to the door. So I had to bend my wingmirror in to squeeze past. Then I had to do contortions to open the door and then get in. I accidentally knocked their wingmirror out of position and dented and scratched their door doing so.

I confess that at that point I was so furious that I let my car door bang again against the other car. I then drove out of the space, stopped, got out and went back to put their wingmirror back in place.

I am now at home feeling super guilty, waiting for a knock on my door from the Police after they track me down from the carpark CCTV.

So, AIBU for squeezing into my car and causing the damage? Should I have gone back to the supermarket and had them call the driver to move their car so I could get in mine?

I'm a big worrier, and this will pop into my head for years to come, as another moment of shame.

OP posts:
LeilaLiesLow · 14/05/2021 20:07

But silly me, I should have used a lot more contortions getting this old, fat and arthritic body of mine through the passenger door of my tiny car and over into the driver's seat.

If you are old, you ought to have more sense.

Being overweight and unable to get into your car from either door is not an excuse to vandalise another car.

You do realise it could cost them almost £1000 to have a new mirror and dents knocked out, or lose their no claims.

RedcurrantPuff · 14/05/2021 20:07

I’m sure the police will do fuck all. I saw a van hit my car, got the reg number, photographs etc and the police did absolutely nothing.

dottiedaisee · 14/05/2021 20:08

Do you only feel guilty because you think you might be caught?!! Sorry but you definitely should have left a note with your details. I had to get into my car recently through passenger side for the same reason. It is a real pain in the arse and I was bloody annoyed...but that’s life !

Iheartmysmart · 14/05/2021 20:08

Sorry but I really can’t summon up any sympathy for people who park like twats and end up with a damaged car. As for tannoy announcements, there’s around 15 separate shops at my local supermarket. Should people go around every one asking for an announcement? Stand outside in the pissing rain waiting for the driver to come back? If you park like a prick and your car gets damaged then tough. Buy something smaller that you can actually get into one space or use the bus.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 14/05/2021 20:09

It was my car.

There was CCTV.

I’m in the Daily Mail tomorrow. With my sad face.

And a plea for strangers to fund a new car for my oldish fat body.

Or perhaps not.

Think ah’m oot. 🎣

LeilaLiesLow · 14/05/2021 20:14

What I find even more depressing and shocking is that almost half the voters here think the OP was being reasonable.

Reasonable to do criminal damage?

Sometimes, it's necessary to park very close to the line on one side if another stupid sod has taken up too much space on the adjoining space.

I am truly gobsmacked that someone would purposely bash another car in anger for not being able to get into their own car.

In a supermarket car park you should approach the staff.

BoredatHome321 · 14/05/2021 20:15

@Iheartmysmart

Sorry but I really can’t summon up any sympathy for people who park like twats and end up with a damaged car. As for tannoy announcements, there’s around 15 separate shops at my local supermarket. Should people go around every one asking for an announcement? Stand outside in the pissing rain waiting for the driver to come back? If you park like a prick and your car gets damaged then tough. Buy something smaller that you can actually get into one space or use the bus.
You're missing the point OP done it on purpose though, maybe everyone should go scratching cars that are parked like bellends.
LeilaLiesLow · 14/05/2021 20:16

@BiscoffAddict

All of you posters calling the OP a vandal really to remove the sticks from their backsides. If you park so close to someone else’s car they can get in you deserve it IMO. Maybe the entitled twat will park more considerately next time...
You are joking?

It's okay in your world to damage a car deliberately if you are too fat to get in your own car in another way?

littlepattilou · 14/05/2021 20:19

This thread is getting horribly personal now. Hmm

Original poster
Guiltymoo · 14/05/2021 20:19

The combined power of mumsnet opinion and my own conscious has worked.

I have this evening tried to contact the supermarket to leave my details and the police on 101 to report myself. I have not been able to do so yet. I will however, make sure this is done within 24 hours as required by law. I have read elsewhere that this is required by law, which I was unaware of previously.

I will accept the consequences of my actions, despite the selfish, idiotic parking of the other vehicle owner.

OP posts:
IhaveMyMoments · 14/05/2021 20:20

I had that last week. Someone parked right in the line well prob classed as over it. Probably because tit was a nice 20 plate and they wanted room to get out their side. Their passenger against my driver side.
They had a few little dents in their car when I squeezed in mine.
I don't give a toss. My cars oldish with scratches. It gets me a to b.

And no I Couldnt climb over the passenger seat because dd3 was in her car seat. I sure as shit wasn't going to leave her stood outside whislt I clambered over. Not a chance on earth.

Chunkymenrock · 14/05/2021 20:21

Anyone parking that close to another car deserves everything they get if you ask me. What an idiot. In over 30 years of driving, I have never, ever parked so close to another vehicle that the driver could not get in. I always check this every single time I park and adjust my position so all is well.

IhaveMyMoments · 14/05/2021 20:24

And I also have 2 car seats each side at the back. I had shopping in the middle seat and a boot with 2 pushchairs and a shit load of Costco stuff. There was no way I could of I wanted to get in any other way. Whether I was fat or thin.

NotSoLongGoodbye · 14/05/2021 20:24

If someone is worried about their car being damaged they wouldn't park so close. Don't worry about it OP.

Toothpaste123 · 14/05/2021 20:24

Sorry OP, I think you're in the wrong here.. The person who parked the car didn't necessarily do it on purpose. They might have been a nervous learner driver, an old person who is having trouble to estimate distances, someone with a head full of heavy worries, someone driving someone else's car to run some errands for them and not used to that particular car yet.. Any reason really. To damage someone's car just because you're annoyed it's quite mean..

motherloaded · 14/05/2021 20:24

You can tell from the thread who parks like a considerate human being, and who doesn't - and is worried about their car 😂.

Also guessing that includes quite a few of those parents on the school run...

Homehaircuts · 14/05/2021 20:26

I would of asked the supermarket to call announce it and make them move that would of annoyed them enough if they were in the wrong for parking there car to close. But it's doesn't give you the right to damage their car. I hope it's something you at least learn from. I think the police are not much good with things like this in my experience, someone crashed into me while I was stationary (had been for around 30 seconds) waiting for the lights to turn green,
and the crashed into my car, they quickly got into to lane next to me and sped off as fast as they could as soon as the light changed. It happened so fast and I had a two year old and newborn screaming in the back of the car. I didn't get their details, there was CCTV cameras on the lights and the police said as nobody was hurt they wouldn't bother looking at it! So unless they were just awful in my experience, I'm not sure the police will do much.

NotSoLongGoodbye · 14/05/2021 20:26

People worry too much about their cars imo. Buy a less flashy model and use it as a vehicle to get you from a to b, rather than a status symbol.
I agree with @IhaveMyMoments

Original poster
Guiltymoo · 14/05/2021 20:27

@littlepattilou

This thread is getting horribly personal now. Hmm
I stopped reading a few pages ago.

To everyone thinking i should be hung, drawn and quartered, haven't any of you done things that you bitterly regret?

I have today, and as I have said I have tried to phone the police and report myself and to leave my dtails with the supermarket. Strangely the automated message from 101 is they are experiencing a high volume of calls. So I will try again.

OP posts:
IhaveMyMoments · 14/05/2021 20:28

I wouldn't bother op. They have bigger things to attend to.

Rfjkf · 14/05/2021 20:28

They were inconsiderate but you're guilty of causing criminal damage. When the police catch up with you, I suggest you offer to pay for the damage and act more responsibly in future

Blossomtoes · 14/05/2021 20:30

@NotSoLongGoodbye

People worry too much about their cars imo. Buy a less flashy model and use it as a vehicle to get you from a to b, rather than a status symbol. I agree with *@IhaveMyMoments*
Even the least flashy car costs thousands and is the second most expensive thing we buy after a house. It doesn’t have to be a status symbol to not want some idiot to damage it out of spite.
TopBlogger · 14/05/2021 20:32

@Nosquit

I’m going against the grain here, but unless the car park was so densely packed there was literally nowhere else to park YANBU!!

Honestly I’m fed up of total idiots parking so other drivers can’t get into their drivers seat in their own cars because they can’t be bothered to shuffle a couple of inches or find another space. It’s just rude, inconsiderate and entitled!

Ok maybe you shouldn’t have deliberately banged the door against their car but so many times that happens purely by accident and if it happened more often maybe people would think about how they park rather than just being selfish! Not everyone can manoeuvre into a small gap or into the car via the passenger door and many people also would not be able to “just go up to a manager and ask for the car to be announced” or whatever. Also but everyone has a pen and paper handy to leave a note. Plus quite frankly if it was me and I had a pen and paper I’d leave a note saying “Sorry you were parked so close to me that I had no option but to scratch your car while opening my door. If you have a problem with this my number is [insert number] please leave a message on my answerphone apologising and we’ll see what agreement we can come up with. Please think about how you park in future to avoid this happening again. Regards. Nosquit.”

Sorry but there it is. Why should someone feel guilty about scratching a car when the other person has no consideration and if they thought for two seconds could see there is no room to get in a car? (As I said, totally packed car park where you can’t help it is a bit of a different matter, I’m talking if there were other spaces.)

Always makes me laugh when people say they are going "against the grain", then say what loads of poster have already said Grin Grin

The YANBU is as 40% so not really "against the grain" lol

NotSoLongGoodbye · 14/05/2021 20:34

@Blossomtoes - yeah cars are pricey but why worry about a few dents / scratches if it doesn't affect the performance or safety. Loose stones from roads chip cars, most scratches can be buffed out. I don't get why people get so stressed about their car looking pristine. I think some builders working on our house scratched our car but in the general scheme of things it doesn't matter. Just glad they did a good job fixing something important

LeilaLiesLow · 14/05/2021 20:34

I stopped reading a few pages ago.To everyone thinking i should be hung, drawn and quartered, haven't any of you done things that you bitterly regret? I have today, and as I have said I have tried to phone the police and report myself and to leave my dtails with the supermarket. Strangely the automated message from 101 is they are experiencing a high volume of calls. So I will try again.

Supposedly this is written by @GuiltyMoo but it's not showing in green as the OP because the moo is lower case Hmm

Is it you OP?

It is no excuse that a car was badly parked. Maybe the owner was elderly, or ill, or had just passed their test.

You must have used huge force when opening your door the first time to dent and scratch their car. It doesn't just happen with a tiny knock.
Banging your door would not create any more space for you to get into your car.

You then said you let your door bang against their again. Doors don't bang on their own unless there is gale blowing. If you car was so close to theirs, there would be no draft to make it bang. So you are not being honest. You did it on purpose.