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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've been bad - damaged someone's car in carpark

368 replies

GuiltyMoo · 14/05/2021 17:02

I came back to my car in a supermarket car park to find that someone had parked their car with their passenger side way too close to my drivers side. So close that I couldn't get past their wingmirror to get to the door. So I had to bend my wingmirror in to squeeze past. Then I had to do contortions to open the door and then get in. I accidentally knocked their wingmirror out of position and dented and scratched their door doing so.

I confess that at that point I was so furious that I let my car door bang again against the other car. I then drove out of the space, stopped, got out and went back to put their wingmirror back in place.

I am now at home feeling super guilty, waiting for a knock on my door from the Police after they track me down from the carpark CCTV.

So, AIBU for squeezing into my car and causing the damage? Should I have gone back to the supermarket and had them call the driver to move their car so I could get in mine?

I'm a big worrier, and this will pop into my head for years to come, as another moment of shame.

OP posts:
cupsofcoffee · 14/05/2021 17:21

[quote GuiltyMoo]@WithIcePlease
@cupsofcoffee

And the other driver was not been unreasonable parking so close to my car and leaving me with not enough space to get in? In my younger days I might have been nimble (and slim enough) to get into the driver's seat from the passenger side but those days are long gone.

No I didn't leave a note with my details, just as others haven't after denting and scratching my own car. Iknow that doesnt justify my actions, hence the guilt and shame.[/quote]
If that was the case, I'd have asked the supermarket to put an announcement over the tannoy, or waited in the passenger seat until the driver arrived.

If the carpark has CCTV, or another driver has dashcam footage, I suspect you'll get a knock on your door from the police, or a phone call from the other drivers' insurance company soon enough.

1Morewineplease · 14/05/2021 17:21

I doubt that anyone will come knocking at your door. I expect that the owner will not immediately notice and just rant when they realise and get some T-Cut. If it's bad then they could claim on their insurance.
I'm not trying to excuse what you did but it happens all the time.

Once arrived back to my perfectly parked car and found the back of it smashed in. No note . No CCTV. Had to suck it up.

In your case, the driver was parked stupidly as they would have known full well that they were too close to the driver's door.

Moonshine11 · 14/05/2021 17:23

I hope you left a note with your number etc on?

I would be livid if this happened to me because the person couldn’t be arsed to go back in the shop as ask for a call out.

Just because you couldn’t fit in doesn’t give you the right to purposely bang your door against their car because you were furious.
And tbh you’ve then got a cheek to get back out and put their wing mirror back?

Torvean · 14/05/2021 17:23

Did you attempt getting in the passenger side. Maybe originally some one was parked over the line on his/her other side?

Hitting the door in anger was wrong.

Batshittery · 14/05/2021 17:23

I hope the police do find you. You banged their door a second time on purpose. What a nasty thing to do

Iyland · 14/05/2021 17:23

Sorry OP you were out of order. As were they for their shit parking but you should have left a note. You damaged their car accidently and then deliberately. Pretty shit thing to do.

PinkOnWednesday · 14/05/2021 17:25

It’s fair enough you accidentally banged their wing mirror the first time trying to get in, although it would’ve been better to scoot over the passenger seat (if able to, obviously not everyone can do this) or go in and ask the shop to put an annoucement out. But the fact you deliberately banged your door against theirs makes you very unreasonable, in my opinion. Being furious doesn’t justify deliberately damaging others property, and has meant you’ve lost your moral high ground.

PhilCornwall1 · 14/05/2021 17:25

No I didn't leave a note with my details, just as others haven't after denting and scratching my own car. Iknow that doesnt justify my actions, hence the guilt and shame.

Just hope that the supermarket doesn't have CCTV that covers the area where you were parked.

My car got smacked in a hotel car park (I didn't give a toss as it's a company one) and it caught up with the bugger who did it through CCTV footage.

Egghead81 · 14/05/2021 17:25

More I think of it OP

In the short term I’d be less worried about feeling ashamed

About more worried about the police contacting you

Egghead81 · 14/05/2021 17:25

@PhilCornwall1

No I didn't leave a note with my details, just as others haven't after denting and scratching my own car. Iknow that doesnt justify my actions, hence the guilt and shame.

Just hope that the supermarket doesn't have CCTV that covers the area where you were parked.

My car got smacked in a hotel car park (I didn't give a toss as it's a company one) and it caught up with the bugger who did it through CCTV footage.

What happened afterwards out of curiosity?
TopTabby · 14/05/2021 17:27

Why have you posted on here??
You say you're a worrier but you've invited everyone else to comment!
It's not likely to be in your favour is it? You've done the wrong thing in a moment of madness. Thousands of others would've done the same but you won't get the sympathy because everyone is thinking how they'd feel if they came back to a damaged car.
I'd step well away from this thread if I was you. You'll just have to try & put it out of your mind as it's too late to do anything else now.

MishMashMummy · 14/05/2021 17:27

Go’s you’re an arsehole. You could have left your details and had your insurance sort it out and everything would have been fine, but instead you’ve been a tosser about it.

I won’t go so far as to say I hope they do have CCTV, but I do think you should feel extremely guilty about it!

Original poster
GuiltyMoo · 14/05/2021 17:28

@NoSquirrels

My car is old and the edge of the door is bare metal. Moving back to open my door, I knocked against their wingmirror. Trying to open the door wide enough for me to squeeze in needed a lot of effort resulting in pressure on their door.

But silly me, I should have used a lot more contortions getting this old, fat and arthritic body of mine through the passenger door of my tiny car and over into the driver's seat.

But I hear everyone. I was in the wrong and deserve punishment.

OP posts:
bungaloid · 14/05/2021 17:28

The professional route is to climb in through the boot.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 14/05/2021 17:28

I can't believe you didn't leave a note, having damaged their door and then maliciously making the damage worse.

I hope the car park does have CCTV and you do get a knock from the police.

AmberIsACertainty · 14/05/2021 17:28

Of course you're unreasonable! Cars don't dent or badly scratch by a door "falling against them" from a distance of a few inches or a foot away. Sounds more like you took hold of your door and pushed or slammed it against the other car in a temper, possibly because you were trying to create some more space. Your size and lack of agility isn't the other drivers problem. You were the one in the wrong, especially if they'd parked within the lines.

Nicolastuffedone · 14/05/2021 17:28

Hope you get caught.

AlmostSummer21 · 14/05/2021 17:29

I'm a big worrier, and this will pop into my head for years to come, as another moment of shame.

And so it should.

They parked inconsiderately, you maliciously damaged their car, it's not comparable.

You should have waited in your passenger seat (as you couldn't get in via your passenger door - I struggle these days. I can do it if I slide both seats back but definitely not with the grace I could when younger, thinner& knees the worked!!)

If you couldn't wait you should have gone into the shop and asked them to make an announcement.

Deliberately damaging their car is a shit thing to do

Egghead81 · 14/05/2021 17:29

[quote GuiltyMoo]@NoSquirrels

My car is old and the edge of the door is bare metal. Moving back to open my door, I knocked against their wingmirror. Trying to open the door wide enough for me to squeeze in needed a lot of effort resulting in pressure on their door.

But silly me, I should have used a lot more contortions getting this old, fat and arthritic body of mine through the passenger door of my tiny car and over into the driver's seat.

But I hear everyone. I was in the wrong and deserve punishment.[/quote]
So.... what you going to do?

It’s very simple really.
You contact the supermarket to see if anyone came in to report damage

TSSDNCOP · 14/05/2021 17:29

I'm with the others that have posted so far. They were dicks but you were worse.

If you'd pushed the seats right back you must've been able to slide across. Otherwise you go back in store and get them to do the walk of shame.

If you're lucky it was their passenger side and they won't notice until much later. Otherwise I think you'll be having a sleepless night tossing it over in your head.

Moonshine11 · 14/05/2021 17:30

@bungaloid

The professional route is to climb in through the boot.
This 😂
cupsofcoffee · 14/05/2021 17:30

In your case, the driver was parked stupidly as they would have known full well that they were too close to the driver's door.

Maybe the driver on the side of them was parked over the line?

Anyway, it doesn't matter how badly they were parked, it doesn't excuse OP damaging their car and then driving off!

Egghead81 · 14/05/2021 17:30

I’m afraid being fat won’t stack up well as a reasonable mitigation

TakeYourFinalPosition · 14/05/2021 17:30

Those things aren’t mutually exclusive.

They were dicks for parking too close to you.

You were a dick, and committed an offence, deliberately damaging their door.

One doesn’t cancel out the other. And not leaving your details could come back to bite you, if there is CCTV or someone saw you.

HilaryBriss · 14/05/2021 17:31

I'm a big worrier, and this will pop into my head for years to come, as another moment of shame.

Good. I can't actually believe that someone would deliberately damage someone else'e car. They were wrong to park so close but that does not excuse what you did.