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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've been bad - damaged someone's car in carpark

368 replies

GuiltyMoo · 14/05/2021 17:02

I came back to my car in a supermarket car park to find that someone had parked their car with their passenger side way too close to my drivers side. So close that I couldn't get past their wingmirror to get to the door. So I had to bend my wingmirror in to squeeze past. Then I had to do contortions to open the door and then get in. I accidentally knocked their wingmirror out of position and dented and scratched their door doing so.

I confess that at that point I was so furious that I let my car door bang again against the other car. I then drove out of the space, stopped, got out and went back to put their wingmirror back in place.

I am now at home feeling super guilty, waiting for a knock on my door from the Police after they track me down from the carpark CCTV.

So, AIBU for squeezing into my car and causing the damage? Should I have gone back to the supermarket and had them call the driver to move their car so I could get in mine?

I'm a big worrier, and this will pop into my head for years to come, as another moment of shame.

OP posts:
Clarkey86 · 14/05/2021 17:03

I would feel exactly the same as you but I’m applauding you inside!

WithIcePlease · 14/05/2021 17:03

YABU
couldn't you get in the passenger door?
Was the other car within the lines?

cupsofcoffee · 14/05/2021 17:04

Could you not have climbed in through the passenger door?

I hope you left a note with all your information.

Piffyonarockbun · 14/05/2021 17:10

If you banged the door deliberately then that is criminal damage. Id have been annoyed but if I could have got in my passenger side I'd have shrugged it off and moved on. Not deliberately caused damage to someone else property.
They might report it to police and you might get a door knock. Or you might get away with it scot free. If you're a big worrier you will probably punish yourself more waiting to find out.

BeenHereForAges · 14/05/2021 17:11

You deliberately let your door bang against their car door causing dents and scratches?
Well that sounds like criminal damage OP.

Iyland · 14/05/2021 17:12

Did you leave a note?

NoSquirrels · 14/05/2021 17:13

Well, the majority of incidents in car parks are never reported or recorded. Parking too close to someone else and your car getting scratched is a bit of a natural consequence. It doesn't make it right, though, so you should probably have left your details (or stopped before the point you needed to, when it was obvious it was going to be an issue). But I would try not to beat yourself up about it. Was it a very shiny and well loved car?

Cuntryhouse · 14/05/2021 17:13

Passenger door op!!

Hohofortherobbers · 14/05/2021 17:13

YABU. you should have climbed in the passenger side,

Original poster
GuiltyMoo · 14/05/2021 17:15

@WithIcePlease
@cupsofcoffee

And the other driver was not been unreasonable parking so close to my car and leaving me with not enough space to get in? In my younger days I might have been nimble (and slim enough) to get into the driver's seat from the passenger side but those days are long gone.

No I didn't leave a note with my details, just as others haven't after denting and scratching my own car. Iknow that doesnt justify my actions, hence the guilt and shame.

OP posts:
Fixitup2 · 14/05/2021 17:16

Of course you were unreasonable. Why didn’t you climb in the other side?

Timper · 14/05/2021 17:16

The fact you did it twice and second time knowingly is malicious.

NoSquirrels · 14/05/2021 17:16

I had to bend my wingmirror in to squeeze past. Then I had to do contortions to open the door and then get in. I accidentally knocked their wingmirror out of position and dented and scratched their door doing so.

I'm not sure how you dented and scratched their car door by accidentally getting the wing mirror out of alignment, though?

I confess that at that point I was so furious that I let my car door bang again against the other car. I then drove out of the space, stopped, got out and went back to put their wingmirror back in place.

Did you bang their car door twice? Once in error, and once in anger?

Egghead81 · 14/05/2021 17:16

Yes you should feel ashamed
The driver was inconsiderate
But you were a vandal

You could have climbed in passenger side. A few mins of swearing to myself and then I’d have been over it and on my way.

Piffyonarockbun · 14/05/2021 17:17

It was inconsiderate of the other driver certainly but that doesn't give you the right to damage their property. You acknowledge you could have gone in and asked for an announcement to be made. You could have climbed in your passenger side if you left enough room on the other side to get in. Or you could have waited. You had options. You decided to commit damage because you were pissed off. Not sure the 2 compare tbh.

Rose789 · 14/05/2021 17:18

If you couldn’t fit between the wing mirrors why didn’t you go round the back of the car instead?
If the drivers door couldn’t open without causing damage then go in through the passenger door.
If that’s not possible for whatever reason then yes if the car is parked over the line then go into the shop and ask for a tannoy announcement.
Deliberately banging the door, and driving off without leaving your details was a shitty thing to do.

Fixitup2 · 14/05/2021 17:18

Their terrible parking does not justify you damaging their car and not leaving your details. Someone broke my wing mirror last year and it cost £300 to fix. I’d parked fine, they sped past too close.

NerrSnerr · 14/05/2021 17:18

And the other driver was not been unreasonable parking so close to my car and leaving me with not enough space to get in? In my younger days I might have been nimble (and slim enough) to get into the driver's seat from the passenger side but those days are long gone

Two wrongs don't make a right. They may have been unreasonable but if you damaged their car you should have left a note with your details.

MargateSands · 14/05/2021 17:19

The other driver was unreasonably to park so close to your car that you couldn’t get in. And yes, the risk of parking so close is that your car might be damaged when someone tries to access the car next to you. However, let’s not pretend this was accidental damage; you admit you deliberately opened the door into the other car.

I get why you were angry, I’d have been angry too. I also would’ve wanted to do what you did. But you weren’t reasonable and if you’re fretting over it, you probably know that.

Gothichouse40 · 14/05/2021 17:19

Yes, I was left with an £80 bill for a car when someone drove past our car hitting our wing mirror. They didn't stop or own up. Sorry, not a lot of sympathy for you, as others said you could have went in passenger side. People who do things like this have no thought for the other person. With so many people having lost their income, I hope you have not left someone in real financial hardship.

MargateSands · 14/05/2021 17:19

Unreasonable*

Poppins2016 · 14/05/2021 17:20

Goodness, this takes me back to being heavily pregnant and cursing people for parking too close to me on both sides when my parking was fine! Had to do some rather odd contortions to get into the car.

Top tip for the future, wrap your hand over the edge of your door so that your fingers form a barrier to protect the vehicle on the other side while you're getting in (shouldn't hurt if you're being careful anyway)!

Egghead81 · 14/05/2021 17:20

I'm a big worrier, and this will pop into my head for years to come, as another moment of shame.

You’ve answered your right an question OP

Roboticcarrot · 14/05/2021 17:21

This reply has been deleted

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Wannakisstheteacher · 14/05/2021 17:21

Were they within the lines?