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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've been bad - damaged someone's car in carpark

368 replies

GuiltyMoo · 14/05/2021 17:02

I came back to my car in a supermarket car park to find that someone had parked their car with their passenger side way too close to my drivers side. So close that I couldn't get past their wingmirror to get to the door. So I had to bend my wingmirror in to squeeze past. Then I had to do contortions to open the door and then get in. I accidentally knocked their wingmirror out of position and dented and scratched their door doing so.

I confess that at that point I was so furious that I let my car door bang again against the other car. I then drove out of the space, stopped, got out and went back to put their wingmirror back in place.

I am now at home feeling super guilty, waiting for a knock on my door from the Police after they track me down from the carpark CCTV.

So, AIBU for squeezing into my car and causing the damage? Should I have gone back to the supermarket and had them call the driver to move their car so I could get in mine?

I'm a big worrier, and this will pop into my head for years to come, as another moment of shame.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 14/05/2021 18:13

@Zoinksalot

Natural consequence for someone parking like a cunt. If they're so close you can't open your door properly they're obviously over the lines. Their shoddy road skills are on them.
Or the op was…
ilovesooty · 14/05/2021 18:13

@SoupDragon

I will not be posting further.

= "I didn't hear what I wanted to hear"

Absolutely. Her next step will probably be to get the thread deleted citing real life concerns.

With any luck someone has witnessed what she did and taken her number.

maggiemuff · 14/05/2021 18:13

Basically you didn't care about damaging their car with your car door as your car is old. I would be raging and hopefully the shop is able to provide that person with CCTV showing your number plate so they can try and claim off your insurance.

mumontherun14 · 14/05/2021 18:13

Omg this exact same thing happened to me last year. Please go and report to the police asap. I did not know that you had to do this in a supermarket car park (we're in Scotland) and I was charged with leaving the scene of an accident and got 6 points on my licence plus a fine. My insurance premiums have tripled! Please go and report it it will save you so much hassle in the future. I didn't have a pen or paper and there was no one else in the car park so I just assumed they would contact me via getting my reg on the CCTV but if I had reported to the police myself things would have been much better for me.

RunningFromInsanity · 14/05/2021 18:15

Do you usually have trouble controlling your temper?

Sometimeswinning · 14/05/2021 18:16

The amount of times cars park on paths and I stroll by with my pushchair and think unlucky if I scratch it. So I do kind of get where you are coming from!

NerrSnerr · 14/05/2021 18:17

not everybody has time to go and ask for an announcement to be made. What happens if somebody has an appointment to be at? Or an emergency?

@Snackz we're talking about the OP's situation and she said in the OP that maybe she should have asked them to use the tannoy and she hasn't mentioned being a hurry so that doesn't apply.

ArnoldJudasRimmer · 14/05/2021 18:19

I would feel bad worrying you and not post, usually, but what you did was nasty.

Same scenario, supermarket car park, 3 days later, policeman at the door. Someone sitting in their car claimed they saw me damage another car, waited for driver and gave my reg, driver went straight to the police station.
However I didn't actually do it, which was quite quickly proven. The officer said if you know you did it and still drive off, then it's a criminal matter. If you had been completely oblivious, it'd be a civil (insurance) matter. Since you went back to adjust their wing mirror, if you were on CCTV or seen by a bystander then you've no chance of pleading ignorance.
If I were you I'd report it myself, they might not have your details, but I guess it's a decision you have to make.

EarringsandLipstick · 14/05/2021 18:19

No I didn't leave a note with my details,

That's awful. Really awful.

They were wrong. But yes, you should have waited or gone back to the supermarket to call them.

You can't just damage someone's car & walk away!

Could you do anything now? This might be silly but could you contact them via the police?

Snackz · 14/05/2021 18:19

@NerrSnerr

not everybody has time to go and ask for an announcement to be made. What happens if somebody has an appointment to be at? Or an emergency?

@Snackz we're talking about the OP's situation and she said in the OP that maybe she should have asked them to use the tannoy and she hasn't mentioned being a hurry so that doesn't apply.

If you read my comments, I wasn't necessarily talking about the OP... that wasn't my intention anyway 😊
rosalie11 · 14/05/2021 18:22

parking too close to the drivers side is very selfish. If it was the passenger side obviously they do not know if you have a passenger

NextExWife · 14/05/2021 18:24

What car do you have? If it's something stupidly big I have no sympathy. I'm sick of range rovers parking next to me and not leaving any room to get my kids out Angry

PomegranateQueen · 14/05/2021 18:24

Honestly the police will not give a shit about a little ding on someone's car. You will not get the police to your door OP so don't worry about that.

Worst case scenario is that they will track you down via CCTV, dashcam or a witness. In that case you will just hear from the insurance company and you'll end up taking the same hit as you would have done if you had left a note on thier car in the first place.

In the real world no one would have waited around for the other person to come back or gone back into the supermarket. I doubt many people with arthritis would clamber over the seat or through the boot either. The second hit was borderline shitty but hopefully the other person has learned not to park like a twat in future.

BroomHandledMouser · 14/05/2021 18:24

If they’re going to park like a twat then I don’t blame you OP.

To those suggesting climbing through the passenger seat to the drivers side - missing the point entirely. It’s a lot harder than you think

Reinventinganna · 14/05/2021 18:25

Why did you name change if you were just looking for opinions?

EarringsandLipstick · 14/05/2021 18:26

In the real world no one would have waited around for the other person to come back or gone back into the supermarket.

In my real world, I absolutely would have, if I'd any concerns I couldn't get into my car.

Of course I'd have been annoyed!

But I would not risk damaging someone's car.

Staffy1 · 14/05/2021 18:26

I doubt there will be any come back sadly. Our car has been scratched and dented a few times over the years. It's infuriating but not so easy to find out who did it. You have to knock someone's car pretty hard to dent it, so it always annoys me that someone must have done it intentionally. Couldn't you have climbed into your car from the passenger side?

EarringsandLipstick · 14/05/2021 18:27

If they’re going to park like a twat then I don’t blame you OP.

Parking like a twat =/= right to cause damage to their vehicle.

Mrgrinch · 14/05/2021 18:28

Not surprised you're flouncing, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

If you couldn't get in then you needed to go and ask for the store to make an announcement. Not just think "fuck it I'll bash the door in".

Scramblerr · 14/05/2021 18:32

I don't think I've ever seen a more unreasonable AIBU that wasn't a reverse or a troll. I hope you get caught.

LlamaDrama20 · 14/05/2021 18:33

Hopefully the supermarket CCTV will have footage of you . . .

Sometimes people park too close because the people on the other side of them have parked too close, so it becomes a knock-on effect.

WinterStrawbsAreLikeTurnip · 14/05/2021 18:35

Oh ffs of course the OP should have waited potentially hours for another driver to come back, or put a tannoy announcement out for a shop the driver may or may not even be inside 🤔.

OP - no deliberately banging the car wasn't ok but resting your door on another car because they've parked close to you meaning it's the only way to get in 🤷🏻‍♀️ can't be helped really - next time do that.

Tooshytoshine · 14/05/2021 18:36

Parking spaces generally need to be widened to fit modern larger cars. Even in new car parks if you have an SUV it's a squeeze.

OP knows they were in the wrong. Their distinctly petulant post stated that. I did this accidentally to somebody else's car. I left a note and they said not to worry about it as the marks buffed out. I have had my car scraped in a carpark though and it was a real sickener.

Leave the note, not doing so lacks integrity.

DurhamDurham · 14/05/2021 18:36

I once accidentally dented a car door getting into my car. I took the registration number , walked back in the store and asked the security man if they could make an announcement. He refused saying it happened too often and there'd be announcements all day. I left him my details incase someone came into the store about the dent but I never heard anything.

My cars have been dented a couple of times over the years and people haven't left their details. I've got over it, my cats have rarely looked pristine.

wingsnthat · 14/05/2021 18:37

@CovidCorvid

I’ve had this happen twice and both times the guilty party was on cctv. Hope you get caught. Last time the damage was £900 and I got the police involved. They were told to pay up or face criminal damage charges.
Was it the exact same situation ie were you parked too close?

I know OP has to report this to the police regardless, but I wonder whether they would threaten criminal damage charges under the circumstances