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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am curious .. do have any unreasonable bias ? ? ? . .. I know that I do and I am not proud😂

456 replies

Tiddleypoms · 13/05/2021 19:46

I think that we all try to be reasonable and non judgemental. However, I do think we can be labelling and bias at times. I was just discussing in private,with dh , my own pet peeve. He was quite taken aback .. he never judges , is mostly fair . Its made me wonder if many of us have quiet little unreasonable ( and are aware of ) thoughts and judgements .. ?! Meant to be light hearted.😂

OP posts:
Bringminimoons · 14/05/2021 10:01

Oh I forgot I do judge and I am not sure what but people over 25 who wear air max / air forces.

mainsfed · 14/05/2021 10:03

[quote bluebluezoo]@mainsfed

*TaraR2020
Oh, I've thought of a couple more!

People who use "revert" when they mean "reply".

Drama llamas - especially at work.
Languages evolve, there is no problem with saying revert instead of reply*

Trying to work out when you could use revert instead of reply and still make sense, the two words have completely different meanings Confused.

To reply is to answer or respond, to revert is to return to a previous state.[/quote]
Well if using revert to mean reply is good enough to be included in many dictionaries, then that’s good enough for me.

Oneearringlost · 14/05/2021 10:04

@Tiddleypoms

I know that I have mentioned double negatives already.. but they drive me wild and I judge. How can you not see what the below sentence actually means ... " i aint got no money " YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOU HAVE GOT MONEY .
Hah! Just got to your post Tiddleypoms I think I just illustrated your point well in my 9:42 post
MintyMabel · 14/05/2021 10:05

I do know they're likely to be British so fair point there... however how would one even say what I'm trying to say and be pc? Culture?

When you start to refer to not being racist as being PC, you’re not doing yourself any favours either. It also very much depends on what it is you are trying to say. Why would their race be at all relevant to your reaction to their arrest.

the abusers got away with it for so long partly because the police were afraid to act due to their (fuck me here we go) race, culture, ethnicity etc... and the fear of being deemed as racist.

I’m getting some “oh I’m not allowed to say anything without being called racist” vibes here. Laughable to suggest that using the words race, culture, ethnicity would be problematic.

The issues in Rotherham were complex. Fear of worsening racial tensions was an issue but actually the bigger issue was the victims not being taken seriously because they were “troubled” kids. That South Yorkshire police and the local council did not take child sexual exploitation seriously. The reports into both were scathing and the issues around a failure to act because of race were there but not considered to be substantial.

The only thought I have about the latest case is, here we go again. Not because of the ethnicity of the perpetrators but because we clearly still live in a world where child sexual exploitation is not being dealt with properly.

If your suggestion is, “here is another group of men from a certain background abusing children, I’m not surprised, it’s a cultural thing for them to do it” then that’s where it starts to creep in to racism. Because child sexual exploitation happens everywhere. But the English white guy who ran a massive global paedophile ring, jailed for his crimes in July of last year isn’t splashed across the Daily Mail.

Eivor · 14/05/2021 10:05

Parents who send their kids to school with their hair all just hanging about, especially long hair.

It’s not practical for school and nits spread easier.

DumbestBlonde · 14/05/2021 10:07

[quote bluebluezoo]@mainsfed

*TaraR2020
Oh, I've thought of a couple more!

People who use "revert" when they mean "reply".

Drama llamas - especially at work.
Languages evolve, there is no problem with saying revert instead of reply*

Trying to work out when you could use revert instead of reply and still make sense, the two words have completely different meanings Confused.

To reply is to answer or respond, to revert is to return to a previous state.[/quote]
I cannot believe people don't know this.

As for judging - in my case, I think of, and paraphrase, a quote that I attribute to Richard Feynman:

"The first principle is that you must not judge, and you are the esiest person to judge."

("judge" = fool/yourself, in his original quote)

CounsellorTroi · 14/05/2021 10:10

I judge women who won’t date men under 6 foot. You can call it a preference all you like, and say you can’t help it, but I will still judge you.

DumbestBlonde · 14/05/2021 10:16

I am also seeing (but cannot quote, for some reason) remarks judging posters' spelling - but I am almost certain they are usually typos.

I know that I make many many typoops as I call them; in part due to my very flat laptop keyboard (give me a mechanical one) on one, and smaller one on another, so I am always missing the backspace/delete key on that one, even though it has an illuminated keyboard to avoid the problems of the other one.

And as for the size and sensitivity phone keyboards and predictive text! Don't set me off Grin

I really do doubt that the spelling and some of the grammar errors need picking up on, for those reasons. Let alone, many times, our brains are far ahead of our fingers.

I make many typoops in personal forum posts - and some are unintentionally hilarious. I can spell perfectly well, but sometimes you would not think so Blush.

RiojaRose · 14/05/2021 10:19

About 98% of my judginess is covid related. The other 2% is mostly about grammar.

sqirrelfriends · 14/05/2021 10:22

Pyjamas on the school run, it gives me the impression that they just going to go straight back to bed once they get home.

I have had to challenge myself on this one a bit. A close friend of mine is a nurse with a DH who also works shifts. She will wake up to take her DC to school, and climb back into bed after so never bothers to get dressed.

People who feed their kids non-stop crap and then moan that they won't eat a vegetable. Well no, why would they when there's crisps and pepperami on offer.

Oneearringlost · 14/05/2021 10:25

"Languages evolve, there is no problem with saying revert instead of reply."
I don't understand this, surely revert has a meaning all of its own, used in the wrong context just causes confusion.
I understand a sentence when reply means to answer or respond. Revert, to me means to return to a previous state or practice as in " I reverted to meat- eating after being vegetarian"

Oneearringlost · 14/05/2021 10:26

Whoops, i just looked up the meaning of revert, it states the indian use of the word to mean reply.
Well, you learn something every day

Bringminimoons · 14/05/2021 10:27

@sqirrelfriends haha i often go back after the school run 🤣
Currently on mat leave.

Oneearringlost · 14/05/2021 10:38

I'll get slated for this one.
People who can't make the sibilant sound at the beginning of words.
So "Street" becomes "shtreet", stretch becomes "shtretch".
And people who elongate the 'a' vowel sound at the end of words, e.g.. I was sitting on the 'sofaaar'
Utterly unreasonable, I know

MissScotland101 · 14/05/2021 10:45

People that have non emergency type chats on the phone on public transport...leave it for texts or when you get home..it’s my pet peeve...and because of hearing these chats from others then I won’t answer my phone on the bus or train unless I absolutely have to.

MissScotland101 · 14/05/2021 10:48

People that aren’t American that use American sayings..eg “that’s sick” for when something is amazing..omg it’s cringy and if you’re British then it sounds ridiculous...the TOWIE lot are the worst for it.

People that use trendy sayings for the hell of it, I like to be fashionable with clothes but being fashionable with words and sayings boils my piss at times. Grin

bubblebath62636 · 14/05/2021 10:50

MrsMackesy

Nah I'm good hun 😂

Oneearringlost · 14/05/2021 10:52

"Also people who actively choose to live in Surrey"
Ooh, I was going to say that but thought I just couldntGrin
Also possibly Surrey dwellers ( sorry!)...
people who decorate their sitting rooms in matching grey or mauve curtains and cushions with a dandelion clock decoration. ( yes, brother-in-law, Mercedes driver, Dubai, Monaco holidayer, upgrader to 1st class travel, I could say more...)

Sixsillysausagessizzlinginapan · 14/05/2021 10:53

People who use weird filters on all their photos. They make everyone look the same. I don't understand why they do it. I know it's fun to play about with them sometimes, but I like to also see pictures of my actual friends and family, not odd alien looking versions of them.
I wouldn't say it makes me biased, but I do always wonder if they struggle with self esteem. And I think it's sad that when they're old their kids won't have the real versions of these photos to look back on.

ConfusedAdultFemale · 14/05/2021 10:56

@Oneearringlost and so you should be. People with speech issues don’t choose to have them, and are incredibly self conscious about them. I’ve got two children that cannot pronounce sounds - especially sh and th - properly. One will never be able to pronounce words and letters properly, it’s people like you that mean he doesn’t talk much outside our home Angry

mainsfed · 14/05/2021 10:57

DumbestBlond

I cannot believe people don't know this.

Or we do know and have taken up the evolved meaning.

I know that I make many many typoops as I call them

I judge you for 'typoops', that's so twee and unnecessary.

majesticallyawkward · 14/05/2021 10:57

I do know they're likely to be British so fair point there... however how would one even say what I'm trying to say and be pc?

'PC' is utter bollocks, it was a made up phrase plastered over shitty newspapers to fuel racism and xenophobia 'oh you can't say that it's not PC!'. It's just another way to try to justify racism.

You can acknowledge someone's ethnicity without resorting to 'foreigners'. But the way you phrased your opinion here was inherently prejudiced, whether consciously or not.

Any offence like the one stated is horrific, but it's not related to any culture or ethnicity. The tabloids may choose to focus on cases where the perpetrator is BAME and the victim white because it gets the most response and fuels their xenophobic and racist agenda.

CounsellorTroi · 14/05/2021 10:57

People who post vanity selfies. If you’re on holiday or doing something interesting that’s different.

MissScotland101 · 14/05/2021 10:59

@Oneearringlost

"Also people who actively choose to live in Surrey" Ooh, I was going to say that but thought I just couldntGrin Also possibly Surrey dwellers ( sorry!)... people who decorate their sitting rooms in matching grey or mauve curtains and cushions with a dandelion clock decoration. ( yes, brother-in-law, Mercedes driver, Dubai, Monaco holidayer, upgrader to 1st class travel, I could say more...)
Grin I hate when so many folk have laminate flooring, leather couch, widescreen TV and have some fucking thing that says “Love Life Laugh” on it, god I want to make that stupid saying illegal 🤣🤣🤣

...one more...the word narcissist is thrown about everywhere these days, if someone does something bad they are immediately called a narcissist from armchair psychologists, some people are just bad/wrong and not all of them have personality/behavioural/mental illnesses, and I thought only a very small amount of the population had Narcissistic Personality Disorder, yet everyone and their dog will say their abusive ex (mainly women saying it about men) was a narcissist 🙄...there isn’t always a disorder for cunty behaviour!

gummygator · 14/05/2021 11:03

@UhtredRagnarson

I judge people who called their child nevaeh or even worse, a misspelling of it.
I laughed so hard!! I'm with you! Every time I hear the name, I hear a little voice in my head saying 'it's heaven spelt backwards' and I cringe!