To not understand this?

[BlossomOnTrees]

Was with sister earlier on and she was carrying a bag which she was going to give to the husband of her friend. It was over her shoulder. After a brief chat he came over and silently removed the bag from her shoulder taking it into the house. Sister told him never to invade her space again without asking first. It was incredibly awkward and he also looked very embarrassed. Nothing has happened to her as in abuse so I am a bit perplexed as to the strong reaction. Aibu to say she completely over reacted and made a big deal out of nothing?

She was rude and weird

She wasn't. It's about time women were more vocal about this bullshit.

You can't remove a bag from someones shoulder without touching them.

She overreacted massively. It’s really not that deep

You mean you're really not that deep.

Women aren't obliged to be ok with men touching them, you know. We're actually allowed to tell them not to.

I’m with her. If anyone other than my husband did that to me, even my mum or a female friend, I’d be irritated. I wouldn’t say anything directly but I’d be snappy and not inclined to prolong the conversation. I think it’s good that she just said it’s not acceptable to her.

She was right for speaking to him about it though, he was clearly clueless. Even if there isn't anything malicious behind his action he shouldn't have taken it from her like that. It clearly made her uncomfortable and whether it would affect you the same or not, she's allowed to address it.

To be fair, he didn't even touch her. He didn't need to. He only took the bag from her shoulder so only touched the bag.
I am still a bit confused about it all.

Have you not asked her to explain what was going on?

Surely it doesn't matter if anyone else would be happy with it- your sister didn't like it and told him. What's to understand?

She just said it felt intimidating and overly possessive/too intimate.
I'm still at a bit of a loss to understand to be honest but it obviously got to her.

@BlossomOnTrees

She just said it felt intimidating and overly possessive/too intimate. I'm still at a bit of a loss to understand to be honest but it obviously got to her.

is this her still Husband we're talking about ? or have I misunderstood OP 🌸

The friends husband yes.

I think you’ll probably get more helpful information by asking your sister, the person who did the thing that’s confusing you, rather than Mumsnet.

All we can do is surmise - just like you. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@NormanStangerson

They’re obviously having an affair and your sister is trying to throw everyone off the scent.

I also thought this

He could have asked. He could have held his hand out for it. He didn't, he went up and grabbed it.

And you have no idea if she has been the victim of abuse because many women tell no one.

Maybe she just doesn't like him and found it creepy.

Good for her.

@MishMashMummy

He was quite rude. She was definitely more forthright about it than most people would be. So often women are socially conditioned into just accepting this kind of rudeness without saying anything to be polite. I imagine it was awkward but I also admire her for standing up for herself like that. It’s brave and tbh more of us should do it.

Yep. This.

After a brief chat he came over and silently removed the bag from her shoulder taking it into the house.

@MrsTerryPratchett

He could have asked. He could have held his hand out for it. He didn't, he went up and grabbed it.

So He didn't grab the bag... he silently removed the bag..

That's even creepier.

@AnonGlitterBomb

The first couple of posts are so bizarre.

Presumably he just didn’t want to interrupt the conversation.

Some MNers really do hate men don’t they and want to make everything the man’s fault

No, its more bizarre to walk up and take a bag off someone's shoulder without saying anything , put your hand put for ut maybe, bit actually remove it is a bit weird. It obviously made your sister uncomfortable OP.

Everyone has a different personal space zone they're comfortable in, he stepped right into hers. He was the one who was rude.

If he is her friend's husband, they must know each other fairly well?

Could it be the case that he assumed it wouldn't be a problem to just take his bag without wanting to interrupt?

At the end of the day if a woman says she doesn't want to be touched then that should be respected. However, this is just a really odd scenario (for me) to get wound up about.

If he is her friend's husband, they must know each other fairly well?

Familiarity sometimes breeds contempt.

This whole thing is bizarre.

Handing over the bag can't have been that urgent. She was there and had it and was clearly going to drop it off. What's the rush?

Bag is for wife, why didn't she nip out? I mean unless she was out and had said look DH so and so is bringing s handbag round and it's secretly full of drugs so get it off the street. Or similar.

Coming out and not saying oh hello is that the bag hello other person. Shall I take that? Ok. Silently taking it. Very odd.

Her response. Also odd. Not oh hello blah etc yep there's the bag. But. Do not invade my personal space again! Who says that in real life? Not anyone I know.

There must be a backstory here. It's all bonkers.

@MrsTerryPratchett

That's even creepier.

perhaps [laugh]

But what was in the bag??

And why was she giving it to friend’s husband and not friend?