Aibu - wedding dress shopping. Busty experts desperately needed

[Workyticket]

i need serious help! I'm due to get married this July and still have no dress.

Went shopping today and left empty handed and really knocked confidence wise.

I'm a high street size 16 and a 34j

Literally everything I tried on i was hanging out of. They only had sweet heart necklines but honestly - unless you're REALLY busty it's impossible to explain. It really was awful. She kept trying bolero cover ups but they still showed acres of boobs.

I had a little cry when I got home but really need to get sorted. I also have a big saggy tummy which I thought would have been my major hurdle - corsets dresses are amazing for that area.

Can anyone recommend a dress I can buy maybe from a high street store? I just don't feel bridal shop dresses are for me.

Do you wear dresses to go out or to events in? What neckline would you normally wear then?

A friend has a similar size chest and she wears a lot of dresses for work that are along the Roland Mouret neckline style theme they always look lovely and very flattering.

You will find something, I think you’ve just scratched the surface in terms of looking.

I'd usually wear a wrap dress with a silk cami under as kind of a modesty panel

Would this work?

There is also this one from reformation?

Oh OP don’t give up, you just haven’t been to the right place. I’m a size 16 and booked an appointment at a brides boutique for plus size women. They women in there were so lovely and made me so confident. Their range was more modest than some of the general boutiques where they have sheer panels and deep plunges trending and coverage was a big need for me. In the end I ended up choosing a fabric that literally just flows (chiffon), is so comfortable to wear and hides all my lumps and bumps.

Whatever you do, don’t go to Wed2b, I felt like a trussed up turkey about 10 dress sizes bigger. The woman kept asking how I feel, erm like I couldn’t breathe.

You’ll get there

Good luck!

I had similar physical issues and managed to find a dress that worked by Amanda Wyatt. It was ver forgiving. Also, have you looked at monsoon? They weren’t great on me but your figure sounds fabulous!

Have you tried curvesandcourture.co.uk or other online sites that specialise in curvier figures.

Hi Op, it’s me of the Debenhams dress and proper seamstress. I wore Spanx that went from knee to bra - so very very attractive
They really made a difference and gave such a smooth shape under the dress. I’ve worn corsets in the past - both over and under bust. The problem you may find with them is that you’ll have a line / bump where they start and finish. I found the Spanx were much better under a long dress. Give yourself an extra 20 mins to get dressed though - they take a bit of effort to get into!!!

I second the spanx idea. I wore similar thigh to under bra, had a very smooth dress. I could eat it was great. A proper corset is quite restricting, I'd try the shapewear route.

Dont west shapewear or corset on your wedding day unless you have done a trial first. And I don’t mean wearing it for an hour in the house, taking photos and admiring yourself ( tempting I know, because it smooths everything out ).

You need to spend the whole day out somewhere, doing normal activities, eating a meal and using shared loos.

You don’t want to spend your special day being uncomfortable.

How about an a-line dress - I married in one because they flare out over the belly and hide it. Something like this maybe?

www.jjshouse.co.uk/A-Line-V-Neck-Floor-Length-Chiffon-Lace-Wedding-Dress-002215652-g215652?pos=similar_styles_1

I've cropped pics if all the amazing dresses you've all sent me that I think might work because - guess what??

I've found a bridal seamstress who is happy to throw some time at either making me something or doctoring something I buy online! Pray for me that she has some bed sheets or something big enough to cut up for me 🤣🤣

I've just realised that some people have even been kind enough to send me private messages - I'm so touched! I'm making a big fat Sunday dinner then I'll reply to those too.

You're all amazing!

Glad to hear you have some options and you’re feeling better!

My wedding meltdown came when I tried to find shoes. Not going to lie, a relocation, job change, and trying to plan a simple wedding had me in tears at the mall after buying ugly shoes that were really expensive and not what I wanted. (Honestly it should have been easily, my wedding dress had black detailing, I got to wear black shoes!).

Anyway my husband found me surrounded by very nice strangers giving me mom hugs and she store advice. He packed me off for lunch and a stiff drink, to fight the shoe fight another day. I did return the shoes and found a nice pair that I liked and were cheaper.

Sounds like a good plan @Workyticket

Excellent!

Please share a photo of the final result when you have it!

#overinvested

I had a panel added to my dress and my bridesmaids dresses as we both didn't want everyone seeing just boobs all day?

For my second wedding I had one made. Definitely the way to go x

@saltinesandcoffeecups

Glad to hear you have some options and you’re feeling better!

My wedding meltdown came when I tried to find shoes. Not going to lie, a relocation, job change, and trying to plan a simple wedding had me in tears at the mall after buying ugly shoes that were really expensive and not what I wanted. (Honestly it should have been easily, my wedding dress had black detailing, I got to wear black shoes!).

Anyway my husband found me surrounded by very nice strangers giving me mom hugs and she store advice. He packed me off for lunch and a stiff drink, to fight the shoe fight another day. I did return the shoes and found a nice pair that I liked and were cheaper.

Haha! I have that panic to come. Lymphedema means I wear eee fit shoes (or Vans) so pretty shoes are a nightmare!

I am fairly normal looking in jeans etc honestly - I'm selling myself aren't I?! A massive titted, belly hanging big foot 🤣

If you have a long dress you could wear vans... I’m sure you can get silver / gold ones or maybe I’m thinking of converse.

Hello OP, fellow geordie, love your username. I got my wedding dress made by a local dressmaker, mainly because I don't really like wedding dresses and couldn't bear going into a shop. I am not mega busty, but have ample and my dress fitted perfectly because it was made for me. Just in case you are considering it, I would highly recommend, though I know time is pressing for you. Good luck x

Ah just read your update. Sounds great!

I don’t know if this has already been linked to but these are clothes designed for women with a bust - this one is a wrap and long so would fit well. If you look on the FB page there is a picture of someone who wore this dress for their wedding.

www.bombshellhq.com/collections/dresses/products/copy-of-luxury-sequins-bombshell-robe-in-pewter

DD is quite busty and the shop altered her dress to bone the bodice and changed it to a corset back. Some companies will open the cups so they're a larger size.

There's a website called widefitshoes.co.uk and they have some dressier shoes than vans

And I’ve gone back and RTFT and the Bombshell dress was linked to on page 4 🤦🏻‍♀️😁

I had pretty shoes for wearing to the church, from the church to the reception and while I sat eating my meal at the reception. When the dancing was to be done, I changed into a pair of pure white Reebok trainers. If the skirt of your dress is long enough, it really doesn't matter what you have on your feet.
Something like these might work:
Shoes 1 -
www.reebok.co.uk/reebok-royal-complete-clean-2.0-shoes/EG9415.html
Shoes 2 -
www.reebok.co.uk/classic-leather-shoes/50151.html
Shoes 3 -
www.reebok.co.uk/reebok-royal-glide-ripple-clip-shoes/DV6703.html

Just some ideas. You could always change the laces in these shoes to jazz them up a bit, maybe something like these ones:
www.etsy.com/ie/listing/708011581/white-satin-ribbon-shoelaces-in-for?ref=shop_home_recs_1&crt=1
or maybe something like organza laces like these:
www.etsy.com/ie/listing/773373202/organza-shoelaces-wedding-shoelaces-15?ref=shop_home_recs_1&crt=1