Aibu - wedding dress shopping. Busty experts desperately needed

[Workyticket]

i need serious help! I'm due to get married this July and still have no dress.

Went shopping today and left empty handed and really knocked confidence wise.

I'm a high street size 16 and a 34j

Literally everything I tried on i was hanging out of. They only had sweet heart necklines but honestly - unless you're REALLY busty it's impossible to explain. It really was awful. She kept trying bolero cover ups but they still showed acres of boobs.

I had a little cry when I got home but really need to get sorted. I also have a big saggy tummy which I thought would have been my major hurdle - corsets dresses are amazing for that area.

Can anyone recommend a dress I can buy maybe from a high street store? I just don't feel bridal shop dresses are for me.

@SinkGirl, that dress looks absolutely stunning, you can post it all day long.

If you’re in Newcastle I would recommend a trip to The Bridal Factory Outlet in Northallerton. A bit of a trek but hopefully not totally unreasonable. You do need an appointment but it’s so much more relaxed than a proper bridal shop and they have loads of different styles and sizes. I got mine from there and although not as big busted as you I am fairly well endowed!

www.bridalfactoryoutlet.co.uk/

Good luck!

@Workyticket

I think it was the shop not you as people keep showing you.

Don’t loose heart and have a lovely wedding!

OP, what kind of dresses do you like? And what kind of wedding will it be? That might help us help you. You'll certainly find sme

Oh, for heaven's sake, posted by accident.

I was going to say, you'll certainly find something that works very well for you, but there are very different styles. So, e.g., this one would be great for some, but horrible to others: www.asos.com/asos-edition/asos-edition-curve-flutter-sleeve-sequin-maxi-wedding-dress/prd/21310148?colourwayid=60155847&cid=9579

Not much advice as my own bust is virtually non-existent (which comes with its own set of problems for dress fitting).

However, I'm surprised to see so many recommendations for JJ's House. I bought a dress from there a couple of years ago, albeit not a bridal dress. It didn't fit properly, looked cheaper/less good quality than what was shown on the website and the shade of blue didn't match the website image. Perhaps the bridal range is better.

Given your timeline, I would be cautious about ordering something online - if it doesn't work out, you'll have trouble trying to get it altered and will just add further stress.

Incidentally, when I was wedding dress shopping back in 2007, it was almost impossible to find a wedding dress with sleeves or straps. Every single dress was strapless. It was infuriating, partly because I knew the look was going to date so badly. When Kate Middleton got married, suddenly sleeves became popular again.

I got mine from Light in the box - online. I sent off my measurements and they made the dress. It fitted perfectly and looked lovely. It worked for me but I am aware that there have been all sorts of horror stories about online dress shopping. Great prices on there too!

I'm back - I'm so grateful to everyone who has taken time to help me!

I've had a mad busy couple of days and I'm teaching all day but I'm going to sit down tonight and go through every single suggestion!

I think the key is going to be tailoring whatever you get. You should aim to get something that fits tour chest and then take in your waist etc. My dress ended up being something ridiculous like old style 8 on the hips and waist and 16 for the chest and the shop made a first cut in rough material because my measurements were so varied. I have always been big busted but actually lost loads of weight for my wedding and most of it came off my chest. They had to stuff me with chicken fillets in the end as they couldn’t take in the dress anymore. That is not something I ever thought would happen.

Similar to @SinkGirl, I had mine made and wanted something very simple. Was 32JJ at the time but you wouldn’t know it because of the corset and the neckline.

The halter straps—whether on a sweetheart or V or straight—make a minimising difference by drawing the eye away from the bust and directly toward the face.

Good luck OP—you have great options here and I know you’ll find something that makes you feel great (and comfortable).

Sympathies from another busty lady.

I went for a strapless dress and while it looked lovely I did spend the day hoiking my boobs up. Given another chance I would have got something I could attach scaffolding to!

All the dresses I tried on needed to be at least two sizes bigger than my regular size, it seemed to be a thing with wedding dresses at the time not sure if it's changed.

I remember crying about it, I tried so many places and everything was wrong.

I eventually got mine withing weeks of the wedding at a bridal fair. Got it adjusted by a kindly local seamstress three days before the wedding.

So.. straps and get something larger to size down to your shape.

Good luck x

I'm a 34F and wore a dress with a bateau neckline, and loved it. For some reason I can't attach a pic, but it was the Justin Alexander 8530

Sorry, missed the bit about buying from a high street store, but I just wanted to suggest that type of neckline.
Or would you not consider buying a particular dress second hand?

Have you looked on ever pretty

Some lovely dresses and not too costly

here

I agree with @HandforthParishCouncilClerk about bridal boutiques trying to put you in generic "fat girl" dresses. Also with a pitying look or comment about needing to flatter your ahem shape. They are also often made from weird thick fabric that would stand up by itself.
I had more luck in small single designer type shops as there wasn't so much high st then but now I would go high st plus seamless. A lot of high st dresses have chiffon panels on the shoulders tho which causes bra issues

Seamstress not seamless

Maybe get this one that fits your bust and get it fitted everywhere else??

www.monsoon.co.uk/laurie-lace-and-tulle-bardot-bridal-dress-1499864612.html

Would Northallerton be to far to drive to? I have similar proportions and got mine at this place.

www.bridalfactoryoutlet.co.uk/

They have a mixed range. You try on the dress and buy that dress rather than order one like it. Saves a lot of time.

They have what they have though so if you find a nice dress but it doesn't fit, you can buy it and get it altered if possible but they are unlikely to have it in another size.

I found with my shape buying a dress that fit was much better than people telling me they could order one in that would fit me.

Hi OP, I’m G/ GG
I had the budget for a “proper” wedding dress and went to a fair few shops but hated the experience and couldn’t find anything I liked. I bought my dress for under £100 from Debenhams - it had straps, was long and flattering and then I had it tailored by a bridal seamstress which made all the difference.
I spent all the money I’d saved on accessories

On the day I felt amazing and not at all “budget”.

I've been a GG-J cup in the last few years (pregnancy/breastfeeding) and I find V-necks most flattering.

House of Mooshki (suggested by a PP) have some beautiful options. I love the one on the left.
www.houseofmooshki.com/grace-philips-dresses/marianna/

The one on the right is lovely too, bet the neckline would be flattering
www.houseofmooshki.com/grace-philips-dresses/adriana/

Bet this would be flattering on a bigger bust
www.monsoon.co.uk/beth-beaded-floral-plunge-bridal-dress-1499834614.html

Working my way through slowly but surely and have book marked some to order.

I mesaaged the lovely lady at couture corsetry but she's fully booked.

I'm now thinking something high street doctored by a seamstress if I can get one (monsoon / phase eight... i have a couple of screen shots) but with a corset or waist trainer under for my horrible belly.

Does anyone wear a waist trainer or corset? Good idea / bad idea?

I had the same problem when I got married, I was a 32H. It was 19 years ago but my dress looked very much like this www.monsoon.co.uk/kitty-embellished-flutter-sleeve-bridal-dress-ivory-84012146.html and it meant I could wear a really good solid bra from Rigby and Peller and I didn’t look too busty.