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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu - wedding dress shopping. Busty experts desperately needed

224 replies

Workyticket · 10/05/2021 17:58

i need serious help! I'm due to get married this July and still have no dress.

Went shopping today and left empty handed and really knocked confidence wise.

I'm a high street size 16 and a 34j

Literally everything I tried on i was hanging out of. They only had sweet heart necklines but honestly - unless you're REALLY busty it's impossible to explain. It really was awful. She kept trying bolero cover ups but they still showed acres of boobs.

I had a little cry when I got home but really need to get sorted. I also have a big saggy tummy which I thought would have been my major hurdle - corsets dresses are amazing for that area.

Can anyone recommend a dress I can buy maybe from a high street store? I just don't feel bridal shop dresses are for me.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
Fluffandbubbles · 10/05/2021 19:34

I’d endorse the Monsoon ones, they are beautifully made and if you buy several sizes larger than you normally would then a seamstress would be able to fit the dress to you. The difference that makes is amazing !

Onesnowynight · 10/05/2021 19:35

I can’t help with suggestions sorry but am a 34HH so I know exactly what difficulty you are facing. My advice would be avoid avoid avoid strapless, it will make your boobs look like a shelf

Thehop · 10/05/2021 19:35

I’m a size 20 and am an h cup, and I had to breastfeed in my dress.

I wore a strapless dress with built in strapless bra and corset and had a little lace boat neck jacket to go over the top. It was lace and buttoned up the back and came to my elbows, covered everything nicely!

You’re welcome to have it if you think it’s any use? I’m 5’2” and wore heels, honestly a genuine offer, PM for pics if it would help x

DramaAlpaca · 10/05/2021 19:41

That Monsoon dress is stunning.

madmumofteens · 10/05/2021 19:45

As someone suggested could you get a dress made for you! I got a really simple dress made sweetheart neckline long sleeves dupion silk made a huge difference made to measure x

22Giraffes · 10/05/2021 19:47

I'm also getting married in July, and needed a plus size dress. I got mine from Coast and I was so shocked that I actually liked it when I tried it on, I was in such a negative mindset about my weight that I'd convinced myself it would look awful. I hope you find a dress that makes you feel as beautiful as you will look Smile

nocoolnamesleft · 10/05/2021 19:50

Have you tried Chesca? I'm enormoboobed, and their occasion wear is fine for me, so maybe their bridal wear would work for you?

mongoosebaby · 10/05/2021 19:55

I have stupidly big boobs. Go to a plus size wedding dress shop and find one that fits your boobs properly, which will be huge everywhere else, then get in taken in by a seamstress. I bought a dress 4 sizes larger so it fitted my top bit (it was a corset type top), had sleeves added and the skirt taken in- cost about 100 on top of the dress, but that was over 10 years ago. The shop I went to understood how I needed to do this, only some style dresses could be altered this much, but maybe worth a shot?

littledrummergirl · 10/05/2021 19:55

www.airebarcelona.com/en-gb/ab/cedra/
Thank you for the excuse to look at pretty dresses.

Graphista · 10/05/2021 19:56

Firstly I'm so sorry you had such a poor experience. That's not how it should be. I used to work in the industry and that's really not what should have happened. Did you go to proper long established bridal boutiques or off the peg type places?

Secondly, necklines can be altered! Find a good BRIDAL seamstress and they can work miracles.

What kind of neckline do you think you would like?

For someone more busty I would generally recommend a well structured straight cut corset, or an illusion style half sweetheart, or a Queen Anne, or strapped with either square neck or scoop neck but to be honest the best thing is to try the different necklines. A good boutique will carry at least one dress in each neckline available and frankly they will ensure they have samples that suit different body types including good necklines for more busty ladies in their larger samples - it's just good sense to be honest

Seamstresses can alter the shape of the neckline, raise it, add illusion fabric or straps or sleeves to most styles, depends on the exact style and fabric involved.

Where you are a bit stuck is you've left it a little late, bespoke dresses generally need to be ordered 6 months in advance but be open to alterations and possibly buying a sample (I did) and you should be able to find a good dress.

so it's worth trying out different places to find a style that suits.

Definitely true

Off the peg type places tend to follow whatever this years trends are, boutiques usually carry a range of classic and contemporary styles

Boleros and capelets etc have their place too but they're not for everyone

She said they get very few dresses in with higher necklines and that they get snapped straight up when they do 😭

Sounds like you went to one place and not a very good one at that. A good boutique keeps on top of sample stock - did they even have samples or only what they were selling?

You need to buy a bigger dress and have it altered.

Yes I'd agree with that. Generally speaking they can be taken in by up to 3 sizes depending on style and skill of the seamstress. You need to find a good seamstress as even "just" fitting it well requires one.

I suspected wed2be they're fine for standardly sized and proportioned brides who aren't necessarily looking for something specific but they're not really industry experts.

Sorry I'm not familiar with Newcastle seamstresses, but I would advise ensuring they are a BRIDAL seamstress as the fabrics and cuts are very different from regular clothes and the last thing you need especially with the time scale is a last minute mistake being made. I've unfortunately dealt with several brides frantically hunting for replacement dresses because a high street seamstress out of their depth messed up their dress.

Honestly actual boutiques are your bet some have in house seamstresses too, I've known them work miracles.

Wishing you so much luck with this and congratulations too Thanks

Iheartmysmart · 10/05/2021 19:58

I was a 34hh when I got married many moons ago. Totally unexpected but a draped Bardot style neckline actually worked better than anything else I tried on. I found with a lot of the dresses, the amount of fabric across the bust made me look bigger. With a nice necklace added, that style kind of drew the eyes upwards away from my enormous boobs if that makes sense.

HighlandCowbag · 10/05/2021 19:58

I was a 36hh when I got married a couple of years ago OP. I said nothing strapless or full and flouncy and I ended up getting a strapless flouncy number from a charity shop and having it cleaned and altered 2 weeks before we got married. So it's not too late honestly, don't panic.

Try on styles you think won't suit. Mine had a corset style but had a ribbon rather than hooks so could be hoiked in around the waist. I paid £150 from a charity shop then £300 for cleaning and alterations. I look3d busty because I am but not too much flesh on show. I also paid £100 for a corset bra underneath from bravissimo. I felt very secure all day.

Graphista · 10/05/2021 20:01

Mine had a corset style but had a ribbon rather than hooks so could be hoiked in around the waist.

A corset with hooks can be altered to be one with a lace up back fairly easily, a modesty insert can also be created.

andtheweedonkey · 10/05/2021 20:04

chescadirect.co.uk/products/ivory-scallopemb-lace-dress-with-train
How about this^

Imtoooldforallthis · 10/05/2021 20:19

Anything here? Could you go for a larger size and have it taken in?

thebridalaffair.co.uk/bridal/sonsie-by-veromia/

monkeysox · 10/05/2021 20:21

I was a 32gg when we got married. Dress with built in corset. Strapless is a definite no .
Excuse that this says plus size as you definitely are not but some of the styles would look lush on you.

www.justinalexander.com/sincerity-bridal/collection/plus-size-bridal-gowns/

www.maggiesottero.com/maggie-sottero/ohara/17672

www.maggiesottero.com/maggie-sottero/pia/17676

The last one is particularly beautiful

diggadoonew · 10/05/2021 20:24

This?

Aibu - wedding dress shopping. Busty experts desperately needed
diggadoonew · 10/05/2021 20:27

I don't mean the actual dress, but the style. I have large breasts and when trying on the dresses, I actually picked my underwear first. Undies I felt gave me the right separation and lift so it wasn't just a cleavage that looked like a big bum.
And then all the dresses I tried had to work with the underwear.

myrtleWilson · 10/05/2021 20:29

Hi OP - this shop in Durham hosts three design ranges and at least one of which includes bustier models (midgely/sottero) It may still be a close run thing in terms of timing but no harm in giving them a call perhaps?
ellisongraybridal.co.uk/designer/sottero-midgley

Streamside · 10/05/2021 20:31

As a wedding photographer I'd recommend that you really focus on your dress fitting well even if that requires a larger dress being altered to fit. I'm not seeing strapless dresses much any more but larger busted brides used to be encouraged to wear them as the tie fastenings made them quite easy to fit.Issues I've had with bustier brides was underwear showing particularly under the arms and the bras just not being supportive enough. Shift style dresses with dropped waist lines seem a really good choice

Normaigai · 10/05/2021 20:33

OP, I don't have much to add to help but as someone who is a 34KK I just wanted to add my sympathies. It's really hard.

I think illusion necklines are your friend here. They break up the 'shelf' but also give enough coverage you're not paranoid about how much is on show.

Theworldisfullofgs · 10/05/2021 20:36

I'm not sure what your budget is what about a bombshell dress, like this? They're designed for the busty amongst us.

www.bombshellhq.com/collections/wedding-dresses/products/gold-sequin-bombshell-the-ultimate-evening-gown

Tower134 · 10/05/2021 20:36

OP can you get to Brotton in North Yorkshire? The Silver Sixpence Curvy Bride Boutique. They say 4-5 months to order dresses, but I would call them and explain situation and see if they can help (they may have samples etc then can be bought now).

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