Page 5 | Should I tell him about period??

postcardfromme · 2021-05-10T09:35:09+00:00

I feel very childish asking this!! Been with someone for around 6 weeks. He's coming over after work tonight and will stay the night - I'm on my period so don't really want to be intimate but I do want to see him. Do I tell him before he comes over?

littlepattilou · 11/05/2021 12:12

@Topseyt

Extremely heavy flooding periods mean that no, sex during one of them is not for me. The place would look like a slaughterhouse and be terrible to clean up afterwards.

Fuck that.

Don't waste your breath. The individuals on here who like to shag whilst menstruating, don't like it because some other posters think it's a bit gross.

Seems we are hitting a raw nerve. because they seem extremely annoyed by our opinions that sex whilst being on your period is a bit grim!

Also, you can tell who the posters are on here who have very light non-painful periods! Some women aren't so fortunate, and not only have severe flooding during a period, but also a lot of pain, and the thought of sex during their period is horrifying!

Dismissing the views of these women, and mocking them, is just bloody nasty. Have a word with yourself!

CrunchyCarrot · 11/05/2021 12:35

Be upfront about it, OP. After all, periods are a normal part of life. You need to see how he's going to react early on.

I can't imagine having sex during a period (mainly because mine were so painful - thankfully am past them now!). Also the blood would make a hell of a mess! But that's just me.

Palavah · 11/05/2021 12:41

Can we all stop judging other women for what they do or don't wish to do while menstruating, and stop making assumptions about the heaviness or otherwise of their flow, FFS.

It's like feminism never happened.

RampantIvy · 11/05/2021 12:41

Do women really never have sex on their period? I have personally found most guys are not that fussed about it.

Maybe you are lucky and have very light periods. A lot of women don't. How do you deal with the mess?

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 11/05/2021 12:49

I can’t see why this needs a discussion up front or even at all. Have a nice night, if it comes to bed time (or before of course) and things get steamy you can say something then, but warning him in advance so that he has a chance to cancel because he’s not getting PIV sex is just...I’m lost for words!...unnecessary?! If he’s not just in it for the sex he’ll come over and enjoy spending an evening with you. If he IS just in it for the sex he won’t care, he’ll just ask for or expect a BJ and if he gets nothing and is stroppy about it, that’s your sign to dump him and run.

DeadlyMedally · 11/05/2021 13:03

Tell him you don't want to have sex, not that you're on your period.
Even if he's not primarily with you for sex, that's likely an expectation he has and factored into his decision to come.
It'll save you the awkwardness and give him a chance to bow out if he's so inclined.

NotSoLongGoodbye · 11/05/2021 13:05

OP why would you feel the need to mention this upfront?

Surely he knows about periods and that you are likely to have one at some point, and he doesn't expect sex if you don't want it. Struggling to see why this is an issue ?

If you do however feel that he is only seeing you for sex or are worried that he will pressure you / force you into sex when you don't want it, why are you even with him?

Topseyt · 11/05/2021 13:08

[quote littlepattilou]@Topseyt

Extremely heavy flooding periods mean that no, sex during one of them is not for me. The place would look like a slaughterhouse and be terrible to clean up afterwards.

Fuck that.

Don't waste your breath. The individuals on here who like to shag whilst menstruating, don't like it because some other posters think it's a bit gross.

Seems we are hitting a raw nerve. because they seem extremely annoyed by our opinions that sex whilst being on your period is a bit grim!

Also, you can tell who the posters are on here who have very light non-painful periods! Some women aren't so fortunate, and not only have severe flooding during a period, but also a lot of pain, and the thought of sex during their period is horrifying!

Dismissing the views of these women, and mocking them, is just bloody nasty. Have a word with yourself! [/quote]
OK. I am not sure who your last sentence is aimed at. I was clear in my post that I suffer from heavy flooding periods and therefore would not countenance sex during one of them as I would have a huge mess to clean up.

I have been seeing a gynaecologist and may yet need a hysterectomy this year to solve the problems.

So I am not the one dissing the views of such women. I don't need to "have a word with myself" thanks.

FedNlanders · 11/05/2021 13:19

@RampantIvy

Do women really never have sex on their period? I have personally found most guys are not that fussed about it.

Maybe you are lucky and have very light periods. A lot of women don't. How do you deal with the mess?

Plus maybe people just don't want too. My husband doesn't care but I like taking a few days out to just retreat! We naturally have more sex when I am fertile (not ttc) and it wanes out over the cycle. Nothing to do with it being gross.

2bazookas · 11/05/2021 13:20

@Silvercatowner

Some people don't object to period intercourse , and he might be one of them

But the OP has said she doesn't want to. She doesn't have to justify. She doesn't want to - end of. Even if everyone else in the world is fine with sex during their period, she doesn't want to and THAT'S FINE.

Yes, and if you bothered to read/comprehend the rest of my message that's exactly the point I made.

NameChangeForThis2 · 11/05/2021 13:21

I wouldn’t say anything and just wait and see how things go, if you think things are heading for sex, just be open and honest about it.

We don’t have sex during my period anymore, we have on occasion before I came of contraceptives but since my husband has had the snip and I’m having natural periods, they are much heavier and painful.

ChairmansReserve · 11/05/2021 13:54

@littlepattilou No. It's fucking gross to shag when you're on your period. Ewwww, why WOULD you? shock

Because they want to? shock.

CharlotteRose90 · 11/05/2021 13:59

What?? Why would you even text and say it’s just cuddles tonight. All you need to do is text and say I’m on my period . A decent guy won’t expect sex or cuddles anyway.

ButtercupSquash · 11/05/2021 14:10

I wouldn’t tell him in advance. I would work on the assumption that a gentleman would automatically just be happy to be with you anyhow.
I once had the rather humiliating experience of telling someone on a weekend away and he just said something like ‘well you have to be good in hotels.’ He was more interested in ‘Match of the Day’ and In almost six months, there was never any need to mention it again!

LeilaLiesLow · 11/05/2021 14:22

I can't understand how women have sex when they have a period, unless they mean the last day or so when it's almost finished.

Genuine question- how DO you?

I'd need old towels and a waterproof under them to protect the bed so who needs that sort of palaver when in the throes of passion?

If you are on the Pill and just have light spotting fair enough but otherwise....how on earth does it work for you? And the man who must be covered in blood.

KarmaStar · 11/05/2021 14:51

I was surprised at this post,tbh,unless he is just coming over for sex,why do you have to give him advance warning that it's not on the agenda tonight?surely he is coming to see you for a lovely evening enjoying each others company?
If,for some reason he was unable to have sex one night you were due to see him would you expect a message prior to the date explaining this ? Because receiving such a message surely implies that either one of both of you only see this relationship as a fwb.
You don't need to explain anything op,just enjoy your evening.

ChairmansReserve · 11/05/2021 14:56

@LeilaLiesLow
I can't understand how women have sex when they have a period, unless they mean the last day or so when it's almost finished. Genuine question- how DO you?

What exactly is it you're hoping people will post in response to this 'genuine question'?

What do you imagine anyone is likely to say?

What kind of details about other people's sex lives do you want to know and why?

Original poster

postcardfromme · 11/05/2021 15:54

Hello! Yes he still came over and spent the evening watching a film. thank you for all your replies x

OP posts:

LeilaLiesLow · 11/05/2021 16:00

[quote ChairmansReserve]@LeilaLiesLow
I can't understand how women have sex when they have a period, unless they mean the last day or so when it's almost finished. Genuine question- how DO you?

What exactly is it you're hoping people will post in response to this 'genuine question'?

What do you imagine anyone is likely to say?

What kind of details about other people's sex lives do you want to know and why?[/quote]
@ChairmansReserve I'd like to know how women who have sex when they are bleeding manage the mess. Do they have a set of old towels to hand? ie the sex/ period set? Do they use a waterproof cover under it? Do their partners use condoms or not?
It's Mumsnet :) People reveal all kinds of details.

littlepattilou · 11/05/2021 16:27

@Topseyt

OK. I am not sure who your last sentence is aimed at. I was clear in my post that I suffer from heavy flooding periods and therefore would not countenance sex during one of them as I would have a huge mess to clean up.

No, no, my post wasn't aimed at you. I was agreeing with you!

ChairmansReserve · 11/05/2021 16:27

@leilalieslow why in the name of god would you want to know all those details about people's sex lives?

littlepattilou · 11/05/2021 16:58

@ChairmansReserve Yeah I don't wanna know how they do it either! ^^

Topseyt · 11/05/2021 16:59

[quote littlepattilou]@Topseyt

OK. I am not sure who your last sentence is aimed at. I was clear in my post that I suffer from heavy flooding periods and therefore would not countenance sex during one of them as I would have a huge mess to clean up.

No, no, my post wasn't aimed at you. I was agreeing with you! [/quote]

LeilaLiesLow · 11/05/2021 17:14

@ChairmansReserve Are you very squeamish? This thread is about sex or no sex during a period. Maybe it's the wrong thread for you if you don't like reading some posts What did you expect to read?

Half or more of the posts here are from women saying they can't countenance sex during their period because of the mess. (I am with that tribe.) The other half say it's okay.

Given that on MN women spend hours discussing how often they wash their sheets (yes, hot topic), asking about how they manage sex in the middle of a period is not so out of order as you are trying to make it.

(Don't ever go to the SEX forum on Mumsnet or you won't cope.)

LeilaLiesLow · 11/05/2021 17:16

@postcardfromme

Hello! Yes he still came over and spent the evening watching a film. thank you for all your replies x

Hurrah! But it sounds as if you told him first- 'He still came over'.

I hope this is not a test all men have to go through.

(Do you still want to see me when I have a period and don't want sex.)