Page 3 | Should I tell him about period??

postcardfromme · 2021-05-10T09:35:09+00:00

I feel very childish asking this!! Been with someone for around 6 weeks. He's coming over after work tonight and will stay the night - I'm on my period so don't really want to be intimate but I do want to see him. Do I tell him before he comes over?

Norabatty40 · 11/05/2021 09:16

Frankly it would be none of his business.. if he tried it i would simply say not tonight love. Is that so odd?

Some of these replies are shocking

duodunical · 11/05/2021 09:25

I'm with you Norabatty, it really isn't something I'd think of mentioning beforehand.

Why would I?

CovidSmart · 11/05/2021 09:27

@aurynne

Do women really never have sex on their period? I have personally found most guys are not that fussed about it.

I always mention it in case it does bother him, but my expectations of sex would not change.

Well good on you.

But the expectation that ALL women are like this is not on. Not from men, not from women.

Imo the expectation he will get oral sex instead isn’t on either. When I’m on my period, sex is just not on the cards sorry. I don’t want to feel aroused. I’m worried about bleeding everywhere. I usually feel crap, not so much with pain but being exhausted.
Nope sorry.

If a guy was coming just expecting me to service him wo even wondering how I feel about it, he would be out of the door.

CovidSmart · 11/05/2021 09:29

@Summerfun54321 and shock horror some women (most?) just don’t want to.
The OP clearly isn’t keen. Would be nice to see other women actually respecting her choice

LeilaLiesLow · 11/05/2021 09:32

@Ragwort

Off topic but why do people use the expression 'on my period' rather than 'I am having my period'. It seems a really gross expression...

I don't know either.

I think @Ragwort you and me are the same generation and it is a new way of saying period that women our age never used.

I know at school girls used to say 'I've come on' which did puzzle me even then!

I think it's a bit like dogs being 'on heat ' !

I have never said I was 'on a period' always said 'got my period ' or 'having a period'.

Purely linguistically, I can't see how anyone can be ON a period.

Surely we are having one?

UrAWizHarry · 11/05/2021 09:32

If he's a decent guy then surely there is no need for a detailed discussion on it, just don't have sex if you don't want to.

And people saying "oh, I have sex on my period" aren't totally missing the point, at all.

LeilaLiesLow · 11/05/2021 09:34

@postcardfromme at some point he must know you will have a period if you have seen him for 6 weeks.

IMO it doesn't need a NEWS FLASH beforehand.

If he only sees you for sex, fair enough, but is that what the relationship is?

2bazookas · 11/05/2021 09:35

Some people don't object to period intercourse , and he might be one of them. So to avoid any awkwardness he needs to know, before he arrives, not just that you have a period but that intimacy won't be forthcoming.

If he's happy with your choice, all well and good.

LeilaLiesLow · 11/05/2021 09:37

@2bazookas

Some people don't object to period intercourse , and he might be one of them. So to avoid any awkwardness he needs to know, before he arrives, not just that you have a period but that intimacy won't be forthcoming.

If he's happy with your choice, all well and good.

But the OP might not want it.

I have never in over 40 years had sex when I have period. I just hate the idea of blood all over the place which surely it would be on the first few days?

tentosix · 11/05/2021 09:37

I said this once to a bf and he was amazed I even mentioned it as he didn't change our plans, and wasn't in the slightest bit bothered about sex on the date. He was a nice guy.

notalwaysalondoner · 11/05/2021 09:38

I wouldn't tell him in advance, it's harder to gauge his reaction - unless it's more of a FWB situation rather than the start of a proper relationship. I'd wait until he arrives then just casually mention it. You'll sense his reaction and maturity much better that way. But if you'd find that conversation too awkward or wind up waiting until he was actually trying it on before telling him, it might be better to let him know in advance.

LeilaLiesLow · 11/05/2021 09:42

I think the 'power' in this is all wrong OP.

It's saying you need to give him a warning he's going to be disappointed. what about all the other times in a relationship when you or him might not be in the mood?

Lweji · 11/05/2021 09:47

How did it go last night?
Is he a keeper?

2bazookas · 11/05/2021 09:50

@Summerfun54321

If he’s an educated adult surely you don’t need to warn him that you menstruate

shock horror some people have sex even when they are on their period.

You missed the point; OP prefers NOT to have sex during her period . Her choice. Women can do that.

AryaStarkWolf · 11/05/2021 10:12

@aurynne

Do women really never have sex on their period? I have personally found most guys are not that fussed about it.

I always mention it in case it does bother him, but my expectations of sex would not change.

It's not about whether the guy is ok with it, I never feel like having sex during my period, maybe towards the end but not when I'm feeling crampy and uncomfortable

borntobequiet · 11/05/2021 10:17

“On a good wage”. “On the take”. “On medication” “On my day off” “On holiday” “On to a good thing” “On my period”.

It’s just a commonly used expression. Now “On the rag” I’d object to, but because it’s coarse and we no longer use rags (old, worn out, cut up clothes) for sanitary protection.
Having sex while having your period became a daring and free-spirited thing to do during the sixties/seventies, among many other things considered fun because somewhat transgressive. (I expect it’s no coincidence that easy to use domestic washing machines became more common during that time). As pp have pointed out, it’s no fun if your periods are heavy and you feel unwell, and in my experience, most men don’t find gory sex arousing, why would they?
As to the original OP, just tell him. Why wouldn’t you?

WTF0ver · 11/05/2021 10:17

I did it once on the tail end of a period and it wasn't that bad mess wise. I was going overseas for a while so the guy knew it was his last chance!

TaraR2020 · 11/05/2021 10:20

Mention it at some point during the evening when he's there. Having a period is no reason to cancel a date!

Also - don't make a thing of it at all, it's completely normal. I wouldn't even mention it until/unless he initiates sex.

Why?

Because its completely normal and is not an issue. And you can still have fun.

LeilaLiesLow · 11/05/2021 10:20

@borntobequiet

“On a good wage”. “On the take”. “On medication” “On my day off” “On holiday” “On to a good thing” “On my period”.

It’s just a commonly used expression. Now “On the rag” I’d object to, but because it’s coarse and we no longer use rags (old, worn out, cut up clothes) for sanitary protection.
Having sex while having your period became a daring and free-spirited thing to do during the sixties/seventies, among many other things considered fun because somewhat transgressive. (I expect it’s no coincidence that easy to use domestic washing machines became more common during that time). As pp have pointed out, it’s no fun if your periods are heavy and you feel unwell, and in my experience, most men don’t find gory sex arousing, why would they?
As to the original OP, just tell him. Why wouldn’t you?

No it's not. Or didn't used to be.

You can't be ON a period. You have a period.

AryaStarkWolf · 11/05/2021 10:21

@Norabatty40

Frankly it would be none of his business.. if he tried it i would simply say not tonight love. Is that so odd?

Some of these replies are shocking

meh, why not tell him though? Which replies are shocking?

borntobequiet · 11/05/2021 10:25

No it's not. Or didn't used to be.

Been in use since my youth at least, more than fifty years ago. Just because you haven’t heard it doesn’t mean it wasn’t.

moofolk · 11/05/2021 10:27

It can be awkward to bring up but just say it. I agree that his reaction will tell you a lot about him and there are many things ha early on in a relationship that can act as filters.

And whether you like sex on your period or not is up to you. I don't have heavy periods often but when I do the thought of anything other than a hot water bottle touching me is horrible.

The blood I don't mind though and orgasms can help calm period pain.

I'm happy to have sex when a girlfriend is on her period if she is up for it. Yes, sometimes it looks like a bloodbath so precautions (extra sheets and mattress protectors etc but my last three girlfriends have been squirters so have that anyway), and who doesn't love a lesbian period drama?!

My last girlfriend hated it though, it's not just men who are weird about it. She was very much of the opinion that blood = gross and no way was anything happening on those days!

Anyway, keen for updates!

DrSbaitso · 11/05/2021 10:37

I've been getting my period for over 20 years and have always heard the phrases "due on", "on my period" "came on" and so on, since before I started.

They never struck me as silly or cringeworthy phrases. Of all the possible slang terms available, this is the one that causes annoyance?

CarnationCat · 11/05/2021 10:39

I would have told him before he arrived. You can still spend time together without having sex and exactly as you said, you'll see what kind of man he is if he backs out.

Did he come over? How did it go?

MyGrassIsBrowner · 11/05/2021 10:42

How did it go OP? Hope it went well!