Page 4 | Should I tell him about period??

postcardfromme · 2021-05-10T09:35:09+00:00

I feel very childish asking this!! Been with someone for around 6 weeks. He's coming over after work tonight and will stay the night - I'm on my period so don't really want to be intimate but I do want to see him. Do I tell him before he comes over?

WildOrchids67 · 11/05/2021 10:45

I was making plans to see a FWB ince and told him I was coming to the end of my period so might not be able to get up to much, he was fine and said that he was sure we could find something to amuse ourselves. It fell through for other reasons but if we had managed to meet up we'd still have had some fun, just maybe not PIV fun.

Shinyletsbebadguys · 11/05/2021 10:49

This thread is enlightening. Do we honestly still think its ok to be faux wide eyed confused about womens choices for their own body? Honestly ?

There is nothing wrong with not having sex on your period nor is there anything wrong with having sex on your period. Can we not perhaps knock on the head the ridiculous waving of sexual choices as an attempt at superiority.

For fucks sake if the OP doesn't feel like sex whilst she has her period its not unreasonable for her to want to mention it to set expectations, I mean if you are warning someone you've been with 5 years probably more of an issue but its not an affront to feminism to want to manage your own boundaries and expectations.

Personally OP I think its what makes you comfortable. You haven't known him long so if you feel like setting the boundary just mention it in passing. See what his reaction is if that works for you.

Don't panic with some of these response , you are not an implied prude if you choose not to have sex nor is a problemnif you choose to.

Ffs we really don't need the damn patriarchy making comments on what we do with our bodies anymore do we ? We do it ourselves. How incredibly heartwarming .

Silvercatowner · 11/05/2021 11:13

Some people don't object to period intercourse , and he might be one of them

But the OP has said she doesn't want to. She doesn't have to justify. She doesn't want to - end of. Even if everyone else in the world is fine with sex during their period, she doesn't want to and THAT'S FINE.

IrmaFayLear · 11/05/2021 11:16

Totally off topic, but agree with @Ragwort about “on my period”. Shudder. Almost as bad as “he earns well”. He earns well? He earns well over £100k or He earns well below the national average - but no dangling “well” please!

On topic, if the guy is going to be “disappointed” and turn tail and walk out of the door upon finding that the OP is “indisposed”, then he is not worth having. I just wouldn’t say anything until the crucial moment.

Bog off to those swing yer pants cool posters who bathe in menstrual blood....

youvegottenminuteslynn · 11/05/2021 11:24

@IrmaFayLear

Totally off topic, but agree with *@Ragwort* about “on my period”. Shudder. Almost as bad as “he earns well”. He earns well? He earns well over £100k or He earns well below the national average - but no dangling “well” please!

On topic, if the guy is going to be “disappointed” and turn tail and walk out of the door upon finding that the OP is “indisposed”, then he is not worth having. I just wouldn’t say anything until the crucial moment.

Bog off to those swing yer pants cool posters who bathe in menstrual blood....

Bog off to those swing yer pants cool posters who bathe in menstrual blood....

Amazed you shudder at 'on my period' but said something so vitriolic to other women. Nobody has said they bathe in menstrual blood. Some have said they have sex during their period, others have said they don't. Mentioning 'bathing in menstrual blood' sounds like you hate women, even if you are one.

HowsYourHeadHun · 11/05/2021 11:25

@aurynne

Do women really never have sex on their period? I have personally found most guys are not that fussed about it.

I always mention it in case it does bother him, but my expectations of sex would not change.

The thought alone makes me feel ill. For me I'd find it disgusting and I don't think my DP would be keen either.

Famousinlove · 11/05/2021 11:39

@BurbageBrook

Wouldn’t bother telling him before he comes unless it’s a purely sexual FWB relationship. You’re on your period, so what? You can say it casually when he’s at yours. It’s not a big deal at all.

I agree with this. What if he isn't in the mood for sex tonight, should he tell you during the day so you don't expect it later?

Summerfun54321 · 11/05/2021 11:44

@CovidSmart I couldn’t care less whether the OP does or doesn’t want to have sex on her period. That’s not the question. The question is should she pre-warn this guy and I think not. She’s posted a question on an open forum for a balance of views and my view is that women should be able to decline sex whenever they like without the need to manage expectations in advance. If he’s an educated adult then surely he can cope with that.

littlepattilou · 11/05/2021 11:44

Not being funny, but if you tell him you're on your period, and he bails on you tonight @postcardfromme I would fuck him off to be honest. Coz that would tell me that he only wants me for sex.

Any man that doesn't want to see me just because I'm on my period can fuck off. As if I would want to see a man who only wants to be with me for a shag.

Youdoyoutoday · 11/05/2021 11:46

@aurynne

Do women really never have sex on their period? I have personally found most guys are not that fussed about it.

I always mention it in case it does bother him, but my expectations of sex would not change.

I don't as I can't be arsed with the mess of it all, my partner probably wouldn't be fussed but white bed sheets and white towels.... its a no from me!

littlepattilou · 11/05/2021 11:46

[quote Summerfun54321]@CovidSmart I couldn’t care less whether the OP does or doesn’t want to have sex on her period. That’s not the question. The question is should she pre-warn this guy and I think not. She’s posted a question on an open forum for a balance of views and my view is that women should be able to decline sex whenever they like without the need to manage expectations in advance. If he’s an educated adult then surely he can cope with that.[/quote]
I would only pre-warn him to find out if he IS only after me for a shag.

If he bails on the OP tonight, she should dump him, as he clearly only wants her for sex.

littlepattilou · 11/05/2021 11:47

@aurynne

Do women really never have sex on their period? I have personally found most guys are not that fussed about it.

No. It's fucking gross to shag when you're on your period. Ewwww, why WOULD you?

waterlego · 11/05/2021 11:48

its not unreasonable for her to want to mention it to set expectations, I mean if you are warning someone you've been with 5 years probably more of an issue

Yes, I agree with this. Of course the OP would be perfectly within her rights not to pre-warn the chap, but equally, it’s not wrong to do so.

When I first met my DH, the vast majority of our ‘dates’ were spent in bed for the first 18 months or so of our relationship because we were just really into each other. We BOTH had an expectation/hope of sex every time we saw each other so I would probably have let him know if we were meeting up and sex wasn’t going to be on the cards. We’d have still met up anyway but without the sex. We’re still together 23 years later and I no longer feel the need to notify him about my period arriving because our relationship is not based so heavily on sex these days!

As for ‘coming on’, my mum used that phrase, and she was born in the late 40s. It’s not a new thing. In my mum’s case, it was probably to avoid using the word ‘period’ at all. I think she was more comfortable saying ‘I’m due on’ etc.

Pyewackect · 11/05/2021 11:51

and my view is that women should be able to decline sex whenever they like without the need to manage expectations in advance.

Probably work in the short term but has it's limitations as a control technique.

CovidSmart · 11/05/2021 11:54

Amazed you shudder at 'on my period' but said something so vitriolic to other women. Nobody has said they bathe in menstrual blood. Some have said they have sex during their period, others have said they don't. Mentioning 'bathing in menstrual blood' sounds like you hate women, even if you are one.

Or it’s just a statement of fact as to what having sex during your period can mean for some women.
I personally found that sex and orgasm means I’m bleeding even more so yes it will look like a blood Bath if I was trying. As in blood everywhere in the bed, in myself etc...
Nothing to do with hating women but everything to do with the experience of heavy periods, let along flooding ones.

Mamamamasaurus · 11/05/2021 11:56

[quote littlepattilou]@aurynne

Do women really never have sex on their period? I have personally found most guys are not that fussed about it.

No. It's fucking gross to shag when you're on your period. Ewwww, why WOULD you? [/quote]
Clutching those pearls a bit tight Mavis, you OK hun?

saleorbouy · 11/05/2021 11:56

Tell him, its natural and if he's thinking of any long term relationship with you then you'll be spending about 1/6 of you time menstruating so better he gets his head around it now. Better he knows so he can bring round the chocolate and a hot water bottle!

littlepattilou · 11/05/2021 11:57

@Shinyletsbebadguys

There is nothing wrong with not having sex on your period nor is there anything wrong with having sex on your period. Can we not perhaps knock on the head the ridiculous waving of sexual choices as an attempt at superiority.

People are entitled to have different opinions you know.

I don't see anyone acting 'superior' because they think shagging when you're on your period is gross.

Topseyt · 11/05/2021 11:57

@aurynne

Do women really never have sex on their period? I have personally found most guys are not that fussed about it.

I always mention it in case it does bother him, but my expectations of sex would not change.

Extremely heavy flooding periods mean that no, sex during one of them is not for me. The place would look like a slaughterhouse and be terrible to clean up afterwards.

Fuck that.

littlepattilou · 11/05/2021 11:58

@Mamamamasaurus

Clutching those pearls a bit tight Mavis, you OK hun?

Yeah I am fine HUN. You OK with carrying that chip on your shoulder?

littlepattilou · 11/05/2021 12:02

@Mamamamasaurus I am loving being called MAVIS tho. Such a fab name.

Happycat1212 · 11/05/2021 12:03

My ex would never go near me if I was on my period so not all men don’t mind, tbh I was fine with that as mine are super heavy and like someone else said it would be like a blood bath! I would warn a new guy I was seeing like in this situation but not someone I was in a relationship with.

ChristmasAlone · 11/05/2021 12:09

I'd let him know good way to see how he reacts make it clear you'd still be happy for him to stay over though

littlepattilou · 11/05/2021 12:11

@Happycat1212

My ex would never go near me if I was on my period so not all men don’t mind, tbh I was fine with that as mine are super heavy and like someone else said it would be like a blood bath! I would warn a new guy I was seeing like in this situation but not someone I was in a relationship with.

This. ^

littlepattilou · 11/05/2021 12:11

@Happycat1212

My ex would never go near me if I was on my period so not all men don’t mind, tbh I was fine with that as mine are super heavy and like someone else said it would be like a blood bath! I would warn a new guy I was seeing like in this situation but not someone I was in a relationship with.

This.. ^