To think it’s ok to snoop?

[Changingtheday]

I read DH’s phone last night. I know that is a huge no-no on here (and I’ve name changed in anticipation of the flaming), but other than some tasteless conversations with his friends which were teetering on misogyny, I am so reassured by by what I saw. I don’t regret looking and he doesn’t know, so win-win AIBU?

I think it's completely reasonable to expect privacy in a relationship. I couldn't be with someone who felt entitled to know all my private thoughts. It's disrespectful.

Why did you feel the need to snoop? Implies to me that you don't trust him.

Unless he has explicitly told you he is ok with you reading through his phone, it is a massive breach of trust.

He fell asleep early and left his phone next to me. I couldn’t resist. I know it’s not great, but I feel so close to him today. He’s definitely benefited from the snooping

I don't think it's okay. I don't have anything to hide relationship-wise, but my private conversations with my friends are just that - private.

That is a massive beach of trust.

Oh dear, I felt sure some people would think it’s ok. Maybe not

I couldn’t resist.

Give us a break. Of course you could have, you chose not to. If your husband finds out it may be him who loses trust in you. I would be furious if I were him.

@Changingtheday

Oh dear, I felt sure some people would think it’s ok. Maybe not

Oh come on. You obviously didn't... 🙄

Boring sunday, innit

I think it's a breach of trust as well. I couldn't have a relationship with someone who thought idle snooping was OK.

It's not ok.

I mean, maybe you'd feel closer to him if you trailed him all day, but it would still be an invasion of privacy.

I really did. I cannot believe I’m the only one that would look. Other people obviously have more self-control than me.

Would you be totally ok with it if the situation were reversed and he had snooped through yours?

Oh, and you name changed. Says it all really.

I never did it with my now DH. I just don't feel the need.

You would be happy for him to do the same? Thought not. You know it's wrong.

What prompted you to look? You must already have suspicions, I guess?
As for feeling closer to him today, am I right to infer that you rewarded his non-affair with sex?

I think you should be ashamed of yourself OP. And the fact that you aren't speaks volumes.

Do I think it’s ok? No
Have I also done similar? Yes

It’s not good but I can understand how tempting it is.

If you think he’s benefited from it and it’s ok why don’t you tell him you’ve been looking?

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where you feel the need to snoop.

Haha I would've done the same

It's still not ok though.

I’m always happy for him to look at mine, sometimes he asks why I’m talking about and I show him.

I do wonder how honest these responses are though - hand in heart, in the position there’s nobody at all that would look? I’m pretty sure I’d get a different response from my real life friends - I might test my theory

@ilovesooty

Oh, and you name changed. Says it all really.

Quite

Wonder how he would feel if he knew.