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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has anyone ever actually thrown their DP/DH’s clothes out of the upstairs window during a break-up?

210 replies

Heatingsystemwoes · 09/05/2021 09:44

AIBU to think this only happens on TV?
Same with cutting crotches out of trousers, cutting up suits and ties, spray painting his car etc...?
Just watched a film where the woman throws everything down from the window upstairs.
Do people do this? I’ve never seen anything like it IRL and wondered if it actually happens. What’s the worst you have seen/done?

OP posts:
DaisyFeather · 09/05/2021 15:12

@Maireas She wanted to erase him from her life, her mother and new partner egged her on. From what we heard afterwards it seems it was the mother’s idea. They didn’t want anyone to know the wife was the one at fault so she thought a grand act of destruction would make everyone think he was a monster. He decided to just behave with his head held high and is doing really well now - all but the youngest live with him and he has a lovely new partner.

HelloOldSport · 09/05/2021 15:14

Not in my opinion. I’d find that behaviour erratic, undignified and uncouth, but each to their own 🤷‍♀️

Okay 🤣

Groovee · 09/05/2021 15:21

My friend packed most of his bags and left them on the doorstep. Hadn't thought of the washing left behind so when he demanded it, she opened the bedroom window and threw it at him.

Groovee · 09/05/2021 15:24

I did walk past a house where the bloke was firing everything down the stairs (upper villa) and out the front door while the woman was frantically trying to catch it all.

Lollypop701 · 09/05/2021 15:32

A work colleague massaged her ‘dh’ with a mixture of hair removal cream and he had a shower as smell was getting to him…… she had his bags packed and told him to see if his fancy woman liked his new pie bald look. 20 years ago, I’m holding this in reserve!

CandyLeBonBon · 09/05/2021 16:45

Not out of the top window, but I did bag everything of his up and dumped it in the front garden to collect. I may also have scratched a rude word on his bonnet

In my defence I had just discovered he'd been secretly on multiple dating apps, and had shagged his co worker all the while claiming to be madly in love with me, as well as discovering he'd been getting clients to pay him direct rather than to the business account - to the tune of £8.5k.

So I was a bit angry!

CandyLeBonBon · 09/05/2021 16:55

Not in my opinion. I’d find that behaviour erratic, undignified and uncouth, but each to their own 🤷‍♀️

I tell you what I also find erratic, undignified and uncouth? Men who lie, cheat and steal from their wives and partners and expect them to be the picture of calm and serenity in the face of it all.

Nice if you can but sometimes their awful awful treatment of you tips you over the edge.

Incidentally I did have this done to me - not because I had cheated on him, but because he was emotionally and physically abusive and after kicking me black and blue, he threw my stuff in to the street and threw me out. My crime? waking him up from the sofa to come to bed.

So reserve your judgement for those who actually deserve to be sneered at!

blissfulllife · 09/05/2021 17:05

Got so sick of my partners gaming that I chucked his games console out the bedroom window. Probably not my finest moment but I was just out of hospital where id miscarried our baby. Took hours to get him to answer the phone to pick me up, got home to no food in and house a tip. The kids grassed him up. Hormones are a bitch

Ieatmarmite · 09/05/2021 17:12

DM did this with my DF's clothes. I still remember the shame & embarrassment I felt when I walked home from school with a friend & saw all DFs clothes spread across the front lawn.

VettiyaIruken · 09/05/2021 17:29

Not a partner but a mum. About 35 + years ago now. She locked her son (in his mid 20s at the time) out of the house and was throwing all his stuff out his bedroom window while yelling at him. They were Italian and I had no idea what she was yelling but she was bloody mad! He was calmly gathering his stuff up into a pile.

Later I found out she had had enough of him being bone idle.

alanrickmanspetcat · 09/05/2021 17:34

No but I did cut the pockets out of every single pair of jeans he had and then neatly folded them up and put them back in the wardrobe

He never did work out why his keys/money kept falling out his ankles

Blamed the washing machine and all sorts

Divorce was a particular highlight Grin

pantherrose · 09/05/2021 17:49

I have done this......Everything out of the drawers and wardrobe, hangers and all and straight out of the bedroom window. It was extremely cathartic, done (so I’m told) with a certain amount of style and despite having always been a pretty calm and controlled individual, I now wouldn’t hesitate to do it again were the offense to be repeated Grin

sammylady37 · 09/05/2021 18:18

@CandyLeBonBon

Not in my opinion. I’d find that behaviour erratic, undignified and uncouth, but each to their own 🤷‍♀️

I tell you what I also find erratic, undignified and uncouth? Men who lie, cheat and steal from their wives and partners and expect them to be the picture of calm and serenity in the face of it all.

Nice if you can but sometimes their awful awful treatment of you tips you over the edge.

Incidentally I did have this done to me - not because I had cheated on him, but because he was emotionally and physically abusive and after kicking me black and blue, he threw my stuff in to the street and threw me out. My crime? waking him up from the sofa to come to bed.

So reserve your judgement for those who actually deserve to be sneered at!

I have a different outlook. Irrespective of someone’s behaviour towards me, I aim to act with dignity and not to do anything which would lead me to be embarrassed to sheepish on later reflection. I also hold myself responsible for my own behaviour and don’t blame others for ‘tipping me over the edge’. But, each to their own.
sammylady37 · 09/05/2021 18:18

*embarrassed or sheepish

Allsizes8to14 · 09/05/2021 18:28

Not personally but I saw it happen twice in my old house, my next door neighbour and a house on the other side of the street (not at the same time!) No idea what happened but both relationships ended. There was always drama in that street, v boring where I live now 🤣

Original poster
Heatingsystemwoes · 09/05/2021 18:34

Irrespective of someone’s behaviour towards me, I aim to act with dignity and not to do anything which would lead me to be embarrassed to sheepish on later reflection. I also hold myself responsible for my own behaviour and don’t blame others for ‘tipping me over the edge’. But, each to their own.

I think most people 'aim' to behave like this but it obviously doesn't work out like that sometimes!
Anger and revenge solve nothing but I understand why a person could be pushed into behaving out of character.
If provoked enough (DP having an affair, emotional abuse etc.) I can see why someone would hit back eventually and I wouldn't judge them.
There but for the grace of God and all that...

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/05/2021 18:50

We lived near to a couple who had a somewhat 'fiery' relationship. Once, we heard a commotion outside and we (and all of the other neighbours) went to the window to see what was going on.

He was actually down on the front garden (maybe he'd been locked out) and she was throwing things down at him, scoring quite a few direct hits, as he was shouting up at her. There were pillows, cushions, clothes, duvets etc. chucked out every few seconds.

Then it stopped and we thought she'd finished. After a few minutes, she appeared at the (large) window again, flung the two panes out as wide as they would go, grunted with a big primal scream and then pushed an entire chest of drawers out in his direction, all in one go (presumably the drawers had already been emptied and their contents chucked out) - or tried to, as he saw it looming over him and quickly fled in terror.

No idea what he'd done - I don't recall seeing him again. The chest of drawers was there for a while - it looked like it had been a reasonably good quality one, but I don't think the carpenter had figured the need for a 12-foot vertical drop into their strength-requirement specifications.

PurpleFlower1983 · 09/05/2021 18:55

I have seen this happen, neighbour who lived behind my parents.

Notthissticky · 09/05/2021 19:04

I probably shouldn't find this thread quite so entertainingBlush

A few years ago laminated signs appeared on lamp posts in our area, saying "If she's so good in bed you can stay there. Cards maxed out, keys to the Merc in the canal". Must've taken considerable effort. I posted about it on here, with pics, and was accused of lyingHmm

Buffaloskull · 09/05/2021 19:12

I burned all my exes stuff.
Set fire to it in the back garden.

He wasnt coming back for it (wouldnt and didnt want to face me after what he did) so it was more of a drunken closure thing for me.

It was quite therapeutic watching them burn rather than just tossing them in the wheelie bin. 🤷‍♀️

ItsOnLikeDonkeyKong · 09/05/2021 19:18

12 years ago I threw 2 black bin bags of my husbands possessions out of the upstairs window as he came home.

They were both full of porn mags and filthy videos/dvds. Bleurgh.

CandyLeBonBon · 09/05/2021 19:29

Don't forget to polish your halo 😇@sammylady37

LagunaBubbles · 09/05/2021 19:31

My Mum did it to my ex France about 29 years ago, we were living with her and he had attacked my brother. It was ojt the front door and he had to pick his clothes out of all the roses!

MargotsBumpyNight · 09/05/2021 19:35

Not a break up, exactly, but a friend was visiting and got angry about something and decided to take it out on me by slapping me in the face. I unceremoniously dumped her belongings and then her right out the front door.

Acappuchinoplease · 09/05/2021 19:37

Probably outing but I ripped the wing mirrors off my ex’s classic car when he was cheating