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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

John Barrowman put his dick on co-star's shoulder

442 replies

Star555 · 08/05/2021 01:22

John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness has (had?) been my all-time favourite Doctor Who character. I knew JB has a history of indecently exposing himself on set multiple times, but today I learned that he not only exposed his dick repeatedly but also non-consensually touched fellow actors with it -- like Camille Coduri (who played Rose Tyler's mum)!

AIBU to think that he got away with this only because he is gay? If he had been straight, wouldn't non-consensually putting his dick on his female co-star's body from behind have landed him loads of trouble already? I was utterly shocked to watch the video -- I don't know how I should be feeling after learning that my favourite Doctor Who actor behaved in this despicable manner. Shock

OP posts:
countbackfromten · 08/05/2021 07:27

@CentrifugalBumblePuppy oh come on. It is sexual assault!!

Why do we downplay behaviour like this? It doesn’t matter what bloody industry it is in or the context or who is doing it!! It is sexual assault and it is totally unacceptable.

zen1 · 08/05/2021 07:29

”I do find that it lightens up the atmosphere quite a bit and loosens people up,” says Barrowman though he admits that his balls-out days may be numbered: “I was doing it as a joke but people started making an issue out of it. Some other gay magazine said, ‘Do we always have to hear about John Barrowman’s penis, waah waah waah’ so I made a decision not to talk about it anymore. Some people just don’t get the joke.”

Yeah, hilarious Hmm
scottdagostino.wordpress.com/2008/08/21/john-barrowman/

somethinginoffensive · 08/05/2021 07:29

The only good thing I read in it, to my relief, is that they said that David Tennant always behaved in an exemplary manner, and was a gentleman.

Is that why he made a jokey song with JB about JB's behaviour?

Butchyrestingface · 08/05/2021 07:32

The only good thing I read in it, to my relief, is that they said that David Tennant always behaved in an exemplary manner, and was a gentleman.

Is that why he made a jokey song with JB about JB's behaviour?

David Tennant has gone down somewhat in my estimation.

flashylamp · 08/05/2021 07:32

@OwlBeThere

I mean...she doesn’t seem bothered? It’s all about context and if you’re in company who you know are ok with that kind of joke, then that’s fine. If people are not ok with it...not so much.

Context is everything

I 'didn't seem bothered' when I suffered sexual assaults in the workplace either. Trust me, I was fucking bothered.

How dare you excuse his behaviour based on his victims reaction Angry

Nomorepies · 08/05/2021 07:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request

Winter2020 · 08/05/2021 07:47

I think it exposes the power dynamic when you consider could a male stage hand/runner do this (the penis in shoulder thing) to a lead in the show. Of course not, they would be sacked, possibly reported, but not work in that crew again.

guinnessguzzler · 08/05/2021 07:48

Imagine being so desperate for attention and power that even with all the talent, power and attention he has, you resort to pulling your cock out just for a bit more. Fuck knows what happened to make him that way. But it doesn't excuse it. It is clearly abuse, and I would think will have been highly damaging for many with the misfortune to encounter it.

trancepants · 08/05/2021 07:49

@Holothane

And from Dr who again people must be thinking it’s a nest of perverts and the like and I’m a fan and have been for 30 years. I bow my head in sadness.
Well it gives entirely different context to Christopher Eccleston's departure. He left after one season saying he hated the environment he had to work in and the culture on set. He also said he was essentially blacklisted from British television for years after leaving Who.

“I lost all my confidence, as an actor and a person, as a result of what happened on Doctor Who,” said Eccleston. “I was blacklisted in my own country for four years. That’s unofficial, but it was clear that it was happening. And I learned about politics of power and money, and I got my confidence back. And I say to anybody in the room who’s ever lost their confidence, the great thing about losing it is, if you get it back, you know you’re never going to lose it again.”

If that could happen to someone with Eccleston's star power just for expressing his disgust and walking away, imagine what it was/is like for the far less powerful women on set.

YanTanTethera123 · 08/05/2021 07:51

@OwlBeThere

I mean...she doesn’t seem bothered? It’s all about context and if you’re in company who you know are ok with that kind of joke, then that’s fine. If people are not ok with it...not so much.

Context is everything

You must know some pretty unpleasant company. Yet another abuse excuser 🤬
guinnessguzzler · 08/05/2021 07:51

That's a fantastic quote from Eccleston, good for him.

SophieB100 · 08/05/2021 07:55

I didn't know about the jokey song Tennant made with JB. He's gone down in my estimation now as well.
How disappointing.

grantoderek · 08/05/2021 07:56

The irony of a virtue signaling show such as Dr Who, which is almost unwatchable these days due to it falling over itself to be right on having two scandals in a week. I hope it at least relieves us of the pain of seeing a show we used to love being destroyed. JB has always been a creep. I don't know why people loved him so much, arrogant little Peacock.

DeltaFlyer · 08/05/2021 07:56

I'm another who was not aware of his behaviour until this thread. Never liked JB anyway as he always seems arrogant and infantile like an overgrown toddler.

It is highly inappropriate and definitely sexual harassment. If anyone else you worked with put their penis on your person it would be sexual assault - it does not make it suddenly acceptable because of whose penis it is.
I've never had a consensual sexual partner just whip one out and start to prod me with one.

Grimbelina · 08/05/2021 07:56

CentrifugalBumblePuppy

I have seen both sides too, and it is completely unacceptable and about time that the TV/Film/Theatre industries cleaned up their act. It is an abuse of power.

Lasttraintolondon · 08/05/2021 07:57

Didn't John Barrowman admit to this and apologise over a decade ago?

Not a defense of him but genuine question: I can't quite understand what people want beyond him saying sorry and changing his behaviour? He's said it was wrong and he's stopped doing it years ago. Now what? Bring it up again in 2031? Stop him from having any future job ever for past actions? Parade him in the street whilst we hurl cabbages at him?

PurpleWh1teGreen · 08/05/2021 07:59

But it's not so much about sex as about power. He was one of the stars, she was less important, he could afford to be offensive and make others (women) uncomfortable, and they would be forced to laugh along or be thought of as 'difficult'. And maybe not get hired again.

Pemba nailed it at the third comment. His sexuality is irrelevant.

DinosaurDiana · 08/05/2021 08:01

I’ve never liked him. There’s always been something about him that gives me the creeps.

flashylamp · 08/05/2021 08:05

@Lasttraintolondon

Didn't John Barrowman admit to this and apologise over a decade ago?

Not a defense of him but genuine question: I can't quite understand what people want beyond him saying sorry and changing his behaviour? He's said it was wrong and he's stopped doing it years ago. Now what? Bring it up again in 2031? Stop him from having any future job ever for past actions? Parade him in the street whilst we hurl cabbages at him?

He is still that person. An apology doesn't negate sexual assault. Ever. So yes, it should be raised and it shouldn't be forgotten. He has displayed abusive and predatory behaviour because that is who he is. He has apologised because someone raised his behaviour as an issue and it's the right thing to do. He is still that person though.

rockingllama · 08/05/2021 08:08

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Revolting man - he always gave me the ick. And yes I do think he gets away with it because he's gay and his targets are women. He's just a misogynist plain and simple.

I've disliked him ever since I saw him in Scotland near where I used to live. He was in a cafe with sunglasses on (in winter) looking like he was trying to be inconspicuous but ironically making a big show of trying to look inconspicuous. His boyfriend (husband?? 5 years ago or so) was warding off "fans" - or so he thought. I'd ordered a cappuccino and JB was next to the station for the stirrers and napkins. I went to get some and his boyfriend raised his hands and said "please do NOT bother John today, he is here to enjoy some private time". I was Hmm and said "actually I just wanted some napkins" and had to push past him. Pricks. Looking back I REALLY wish I'd said "who?" But I wasn't quick enough sadly.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop - THIS is exactly how I perceive him
Shadedog · 08/05/2021 08:08

I worked for decades in the other kind of theatre. Very long hours, emotionally taxing, absolutely no squeamishness about bodies. Never been acceptable for male consultant surgeons to put their dicks in their juniors shoulders. Sexual harassment has and still does happen but at least we have the intellectual honesty to say it’s wrong and isn’t totes fine because our industry is somehow more special. My daughter wants to work in a backstage role in film/tv. It’s gross that she will have to put up with this shit. Even grosser that women will tell her that it’s not assault because of working long hours and the emotional vulnerability of being away from home.

Riddo · 08/05/2021 08:09

I'm so disappointed. I really liked him but not any more. He's getting away with sexual assault because he's gay 😡

SimonedeBeauvoirscat · 08/05/2021 08:09

Christopher Eccleston is 💕 and deserves all the good things in life.

Barrowman is scum and shouldn’t work in the industry again. He should fade back into the obscurity he so richly deserves.

poppycat10 · 08/05/2021 08:12

Those of you saying she didn't seem bothered should read the book "Everyday Sexism" and learn how women who complain about sexual harassment and sexism generally are treated by other people when they complain, including by other women.

They're expected to accept it as "banter" and stop being uptight.

If you are older and don't have daughters, educate your younger friends and relatives.

If you are younger, remember THIS IS NOT OK and you don't have to put up with it and anyone who tells you that you do is a w*nker.

SophieB100 · 08/05/2021 08:15

So what if he apologised over a decade ago? I agree with @flashylamp - an apology doesn't negate this behaviour.

It goes to show how this sort of behaviour is tolerated, excused and swept under the carpet.

In the decade since then, he has appeared more and more on TV - judge on Dancing on Ice, and various other stuff. This sort of behaviour is rife in the industry - but that doesn't make it excusable, gay, straight, whatever - all irrelevant. The industry is corrupt, allowing people like JB to thrive in it.

Good on Ecclestone, the man's got a moral compass.