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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

John Barrowman put his dick on co-star's shoulder

442 replies

Star555 · 08/05/2021 01:22

John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness has (had?) been my all-time favourite Doctor Who character. I knew JB has a history of indecently exposing himself on set multiple times, but today I learned that he not only exposed his dick repeatedly but also non-consensually touched fellow actors with it -- like Camille Coduri (who played Rose Tyler's mum)!

AIBU to think that he got away with this only because he is gay? If he had been straight, wouldn't non-consensually putting his dick on his female co-star's body from behind have landed him loads of trouble already? I was utterly shocked to watch the video -- I don't know how I should be feeling after learning that my favourite Doctor Who actor behaved in this despicable manner. Shock

OP posts:
Pintosmash · 08/05/2021 08:16

He's been getting his cock out to harrasss people in the workplace for years, he's a creep

From 1:45mins in the video which is from 2008

HannaHat · 08/05/2021 08:17

He’s an absolute creep.

tttigress · 08/05/2021 08:20

This sort of thing seems particularly common in the media/TV/film. Which don't seem to be a progressive as they think they are.

I totally get the point that a lot of people forced to "laugh" this sort of behaviour off are relatively junior or in insecure roles.

CandyLeBonBon · 08/05/2021 08:21

Another to join the chorus of 'hell no'

I spent many years working in theatre backstage and this sort of behaviour is rife.

At 15, a well known blue Peter presenter (not John Leslie) who was in that year's, panto exposed himself to me.

I was 15 and he knew it. It really unnerved me but of course I never said anything. And I agree that in these environments you often 'pretend' to be ok with it because making a fuss would've got you fired.

You can be exuberant without getting your cock out.

tttigress · 08/05/2021 08:23

Also hate the old, it's just "banter" line.

ElphabaTWitch · 08/05/2021 08:23

Absolutely. He got away with it cos he ‘gay and happy and loud and flamboyant’. Different set of wokie rules for the gays don’t you know.

ItWasLikeThatWhenIGotHere · 08/05/2021 08:28

I think it’s unacceptable behaviour for which he was rightly but belatedly reprimanded on Torchwood.

But I think it’s very different from Noel Clarke’s alleged behaviour, which was predatory and misogynistic and left the women involved very distressed. There’s a sickness in your stomach that you feel from that sort of sexual harassment at work, even if the man involved never lays a finger on you. Context and intent does matter, as anyone who’s ever had their shoes fitted by a foot fetishist would know, and I’ve never heard anyone who witnessed JB’s inappropriate displays express any emotion more negative than boredom or contempt.

It’s why a streaker isn’t a dangerous sexual criminal and a flasher is.

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 08/05/2021 08:29

Horrified by those making excuses for him. He also appears to have only done it to women. Add this to the awful Graham Norton programme where he forcibly kissed women who were trying to reject him and he is a predator.

Boood · 08/05/2021 08:30

I remember years ago JB did a whole monologue on Graham Norton about how disgusting women’s bodies are, and how he has nightmares about vaginas with teeth bearing down on him. He’s a misogynist, through and through, and everyone laughs along because he’s gay and funny. Vile man exploiting horrible double standards.

RampantIvy · 08/05/2021 08:35

He needs to be called out on his vile behaviour. Being gay is no excuse. What a disgusting and seedy way to behave. Does he have no social awareness?

felulageller · 08/05/2021 08:38

He's high on power. His sexuality isn't relevant.

EnoughnowIthink · 08/05/2021 08:40

Urgh. Doesn’t surprise me. Could never warm to him a d didn’t understand the fuss.

Mulhollandmagoo · 08/05/2021 08:40

I'm reading this over my breakfast and it's put me right off 🤢 what a disgusting way to act!!! How have we got here, where that kind of behaviour is accepted. I think there is truth in the op that he will be let off more lightly because he's gay too, it'll be excused as 'he won't have meant anything by it' or 'he's not going to act on it'

Pintosmash · 08/05/2021 08:42

Context and intent does matter
How would you describe the context or intent of someone in a position of power who has a track record of constantly getting their cock out in more than one show over a number of years to harrasss people with? It's sexual harassment and predatory.

Letsgetreadytocrumble · 08/05/2021 08:42

@Lasttraintolondon

Didn't John Barrowman admit to this and apologise over a decade ago?

Not a defense of him but genuine question: I can't quite understand what people want beyond him saying sorry and changing his behaviour? He's said it was wrong and he's stopped doing it years ago. Now what? Bring it up again in 2031? Stop him from having any future job ever for past actions? Parade him in the street whilst we hurl cabbages at him?

If he pissed off about that, then he should take it up with Noel Clarke, who is the reason this has come up again.
BlackCatsRule88 · 08/05/2021 08:43

Popbitch have reported other vile stories about him, including:

  • To hear him talk, you'd think Barrowman just flops it out and taps it against things. As longtime Popbitch readers know, he's much more flamboyant than that. In his time, he's used it as a hanger for his castmates' props in panto, used it to wipe down his breakfast bar for guests, and – in one particularly memorable instance – used it to cut up a birthday cake.

This is the panto story:

  • One lucky actor who starred in a pantomime with him some years back had a memorable scene in which he'd tell the audience he was just popping off to Tesco. He'd drive off-stage in a little golf buggy, collect a few prop carrier bags from the wings and re-enter with them.

Most of the time, these bags would be handed to the actor. On the occasions Barrowman could muster one in time however, he would kindly proffer them dangling from his erection – just out of the audience's sightline.

Vile.

Whiskyinajar · 08/05/2021 08:43

Kenneth Williams was known for this kind of behaviour. I don't think he ever made physical contact with anyone but he was always exposing himself. Another gay man who hated women (except for Barbara Windsor).

Tottington · 08/05/2021 08:44

I'm glad someone has posted about this. It's vile. There's no excuse for his behaviour!

I can only imagine the consequences for me and my career if I walked around work place putting my vulva on my colleagues' shoulders!

It's sexual harassment and being homosexual does not negate sexual harassment of the opposite sex!!

Letsgetreadytocrumble · 08/05/2021 08:45

The two clips that have been posted on this thread and the anecdotes about JB kissing women by surprise, and doing monologues about how disgusting women's bodies are, have all made me feel sick. The power dynamic in both the videos posted is stark.

Men are still allowed to get away with such vile misogyny.

MissTrip82 · 08/05/2021 08:46

I can’t be the only person working in health/emergency services/defence laughing at the PPs who think long hours, high stress, travel, being away from your family, and having nobody who understands what you’re going through but your team are issues unique to show business.

I mean really. Nobody can be that self-absorbed.

These things occur across a swathe of industries. They do not excuse sexual harassment and assault.

Positivevibesonlyplease · 08/05/2021 08:50

I fully understand that theatre and film are very different from a usual workplace, however I stand by what I said about the fact that any behaviour which makes a colleague feel uncomfortable is unacceptable. Good that he’s apologised. If he’s changed his ways, unless anyone complains, that should be the end of it. Perhaps NC was trying to justify or normalise his own very different, abusive and threatening behaviour by drawing attention to JB.

overnightangel · 08/05/2021 08:56

@CentrifugalBumblePuppy

The theatre (and television sets) are very bizarre environments. I spent a good 20 years in both. You have to form a good team, for what often is intimate work, from day 1. You are at work from 6am until late some shoots; there is no room for the usual office politics. Day after day you may trawl across the country on location after location. You’re lucky if you can put down roots in a dressing room for a few days or weeks if your in a studio environment.

In the theatre you may have a Get In at 8am, tech rehearsal & a matinee & evening performance before you do a Get Out. Week long productions or even longer pantos are very hard work but blissful as you can do the same show over & over.

You bond quickly not only for the sake of getting a good performance, but for security as, especially on travelling plays or location shoots, you’re exposed emotionally, away from your home support networks. I’ve travelled the world in my ‘showbiz’ jobs. You need to support each other & have that support yourself. You have to let your guard down to form a bond in performance.

Couple that with the usual day to day things that are, by their nature, intimate (I’m not talking sexual scenes, but costume dressers, sharing spaces for changing, prosthetics & make up etc).

Add in the simple fact that to do these kind of jobs, as an actor or tech, you tend to be more ‘outgoing’, and in the secure environment you make together, and daft things can happen (I’ve seen more willies than you can shake a stick at, being wangled for comedy effect.

Before anyone storms in & claims this is a form of sexual assault, please listen carefully.

When I started that career in the theatre, as a part time tech, I had just turned 16. In the panto that year, I was sexually assaulted on an almost daily basis by one of the ‘stars’. Hands on groping, rubbing, touching intimate areas. One tech got trapped in a dressing room by another ‘star’ in the afternoon before a show & we had to break a fire glass to get everyone evacuated just to be able to get her, and him, out.

The man who attacked me is dead, thank goodness. My sister worked with me too & has had therapy to deal with her experience with him.

A gay guy wangling a Willy for daft (but stupid) comedy relief is miles apart from being sexually assaulted or harassed.

It is stupid and vulgar though.

I also trained as a drama teacher at 20. I’ve been both a performer & a tech. I’ve chaperoned kids around the world. I’m not a n00b in this world. I’ve also, in the past 5 years as my disability gets worse slogged 9-5 in an office (soul destroying) and I know which world is rather be in. Even with the wangling willies.

Of course, it isn’t appropriate. It’s childish behaviour (and herding a company of actors can be like stuffing fog in a bag sometimes). As an adult & teching as a stage manager, I’ve pulled actors aside for inappropriate behaviour. Heck, I’ve even been part of sacking one or two. But in an industry where the average day is 16hrs, and you work & play hard on occasion, stupid behaviour can happen.

Sexual behaviour needs to rooted out. I have complete sympathy with the victims of Noel Clarke. Some actors think they rule the roost & are invincible. They crave & demand attention (what other career do you get clapped at & praises by the public every day?).

I’m rambling. But you must understand it’s a weird, weird environment. I’ve seen both sides, and been assaulted along the way.

You’re completely minimising disgusting and inappropriate behaviour by saying “well one thing is worse so the other is ok.”

I’m sorry for what happened to you , but if this is your attitude I for one am glad and relieved you no longer work in that environment for the sake of other people and their safety.

Cowbells · 08/05/2021 08:58

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

Its totally a power thing, I've had younger colleagues expose themselves to me "for a laugh", and make sexual comments. I'm 60 so the only possible reason for it is power over someone to make them feel small and uncomfortable. Mind you it's not me that ends up feeling small and uncomfortable, I have no truck with that crap at work and I will let them have it until they cry.
Good.
MichelleScarn · 08/05/2021 09:01

@CentrifugalBumblePuppy so the 'willy wangling' and other behaviour of jb was just funny and is ok.
I absolutely hope no child you ever taught ever came to you with any fear or concerns and you dismissed them as readily. Working in the theatre or TV does not make you special or more hardworking than other jobs. As pp has said there's other jobs with long gruelling hours where this behaviour would not be excused.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 08/05/2021 09:01

Andrew Lloyd Webber looks so uncomfortable with Barrowman encroaching on his space