Child free weddings are for megalomaniacs

[DrunkPosting]

Unless you are consummating the marriage during the ceremony, then it isn’t an adults only type of event

On the other hand, I see marriage as an individual contract, and not some kind of linking of clans, so it’s not any kind of familial affair to me

Marriage is not an 'individual contract'. That would be an illegal contract. The whole point of the ceremony is that it is witnessed. It isn't just about the couple

I've been to too many weddings where children/toddlers have screeched through the vows/speeches TBH.

We Brits really despise kids, don't we?

When I go on holiday to Europe, DC are doted on by strangers, because families do things - eat out, spend time - together.

I've never spent a night away from my kids, who are 8 and 4, because I had them and they're not only my responsibility, but they're my family. I'm getting to the stage where I'd like a child-free few days once in a while, but only because they're more able to manage without me.

Weddings used to be about family and friends getting together, but they're more likely to be about the bride getting to be a princess for the day nowadays, and not having her magical fairytale interrupted by a baby crying.

People have child free weddings because of parents who think their kids are well behaved but actually they aren't.

@KatherineJaneway

People have child free weddings because of parents who think their kids are well behaved but actually they aren't.

Exactly. Nothing to do with despising kids. It’s the parents that are totally oblivious to them.

@Flaxmeadow

YANBU People seem to have some very strange ideas of what a wedding is. As if it's just another piss with your mates. A glorified extension of a stag/hen night or a weekend in Benners

A wedding is supposed to be a solemn declaration in front of witnesses but also traditionally a family event. Family includes children.

I find your idea of a wedding being a 'family event' weird frankly. It is a piss up for me and my mates.

My immediate family are 12000 miles away and can't get here. My extended family I haven't seen or heard from in several decades.

It's still a legal contract despite the fact I don't want children there. I'm also not having it in a church nor am I buying a special dress. It's a celebration of a relationship between two adults.

If people want it to be a 'family thing' fine. I don't/can't/prefer it be the 'people I see week in week out thing'. I still don't like their kids though!

I had two children entertainers, open bar for adults and delicious food, music, seating wherever, and we were told by adults who attended that it was a lot of fun and the best wedding they had been to.
I have seen some poorly behaved adults at weddings; children are nowhere near as horribly behaved as some adults.

For goodness sake - are adults not allowed a little time out to enjoy themselves without children (their own or other people's) now? When I was young parents didn't feel they had to take their children to every event they attended. I agree with an earlier poster - not every child is a pleasure.

Agree, @HelpfulBelle.

I do kind of agree tbh! I don't understand child-free weddings really. My view is quite strongly that children are people and part of the family so why wouldn't you want them there?

I wouldn't have worded it like that though haha and at the end of the day the bride and groom get to decide.

Lol. I had no choice, if everyone bought their kids I would have needed 20 extra seats which we didn't have (capacity) and couldn't afford a bigger venue. All the patents were so happy they could leave their kids at home. I had immediate family kids obviously (nieces, nephews)

Parents doh

People who want to subject their kids onto guests are megalomanics.

Unless it was a family wedding, i would never take my young kids to a wedding.

It seems the main motivation for the anti-child wedding is getting totally shitfaced.

Bit depressing really.

But as pps have said I loved attending weddings as a child, dressing up, seeing family, dancing with my cousins, so am no doubt biased.

Kids normally bored and running round shouting and screaming.
babies with the "I'll takeout out if it cries" has already caused the disturbance before they take it out .

But most of all it's up to the people who are getting married if they want kids there or not . Not up to the guest to demand there kids came come

Theres the cost and limited numbers .

The only thing out of order is if they get arsey that you can't come as no baby sitter.

Money. Your kids aren't owed a spot.

@HelpfulBelle

We Brits really despise kids, don't we?

When I go on holiday to Europe, DC are doted on by strangers, because families do things - eat out, spend time - together.

I've never spent a night away from my kids, who are 8 and 4, because I had them and they're not only my responsibility, but they're my family. I'm getting to the stage where I'd like a child-free few days once in a while, but only because they're more able to manage without me.

Weddings used to be about family and friends getting together, but they're more likely to be about the bride getting to be a princess for the day nowadays, and not having her magical fairytale interrupted by a baby crying.

Would you like a chufty badge for being The Best Parent Ever?

Perfectly normal and absolutely fine to want a night away from being a parent sometimes. If you've never needed or wanted some time in eight years to just be an adult without the responsibility of child rearing for one night then good for you but that's not the case for everyone.

Does anyone who lets their kids stay over at their grandparents for a night here and there 'despise' their kids, too?

I don't have or want children and the fear of becoming a po-faced martyr who refuses to have a personality outside my children is a big reason why...

We had a child free wedding, the reception was in my parents garden and they have a pond. Seemed like the sensible thing to do tbh!

@therocinante

I don't have any offers of childcare, unfortunately, so I'm not being a martyr, I just don't have help

I'm quite envious of people whose parents/PILs mind the kids while they have nights away.

People are entitled to have the wedding they want.

Child free weddings are fucking amazing.

I think it’s fair enough tbh! We did have kids at our wedding but only a handful of our friends had children at that point so it didn’t make a massive difference to the costs / numbers.

I now have 3 kids and would not expect them to be invited to a friend’s wedding.

That said, I once was invited to a wedding where my 3 month olds exclusively breastfed bottle refusing baby was not invited and I was told in no uncertain terms she could not come. There needs to be an exception for babes in arms (although I recognise that parents need to of course take them out during the ceremony etc if they are fractious!).

I also think it’s ok to just invite certain children e.g. children who are close family members only. I have been to 2 weddings where this was the case and it’s fair enough!

Had kids at my wedding but they were free! Different story if we were paying for them

@KatherineJaneway I think you have probably given the main reason. In any case, it's the couple's wedding and should be their choice of who the guests are. I would only criticise if some children were invited and others were not, as a way of stopping someone attending.

I find children extremely dull, don't really like them and have no plans to have any. The only child invited to my wedding is my niece (who is not boring and annoying like other children). It's going to be a lovely day.

It entirely depends on the kind of wedding that it is. Difficult to have blanket rules like this.

For my wedding I think it would have been quite miserable to say no kids, but that was our situation. Everyone is different.