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Original poster

Child free weddings are for megalomaniacs

548 replies

DrunkPosting · 07/05/2021 22:20

Unless you are consummating the marriage during the ceremony, then it isn’t an adults only type of event

OP posts:
minniemomo · 08/05/2021 18:24

@saltinesandcoffeecups

Actually yes, my kids were taken to nice restaurants, pubs, cocktail parties etc because we didn't have the option of sitters, one of my DD's has sn and sitters rarely come back a second time. My DD's loved dressing up and knew how to behave at the table. Unfortunately this means they have a taste for expensive food!

Fifthtimelucky · 08/05/2021 18:30

@CokeDrinker I've never been to a wedding with lewd speeches. And most people these days enter into a sexual relationship long before they get married.

And my children have enjoyed attending weddings! They have never been miserable or bored.

I guess we attend different types of weddings!

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 08/05/2021 18:30

@DragonMuff @CokeDrinker I don't define weddings as 'adult affairs', while I do agree that some things are in that category.

And yes, I think everyone has a responsibility to the children of the society they live in, just as we all do to the elderly or the out of work. Takes a village an' all that. I'm not saying that anyone MUST invite DC to their wedding, but I find it bloody odd when they exclude them, especially when that means excluding a number of their potential guests who can't find childcare. Had I not been able to take my baby to the wedding where I took her out, I wouldn't have been able to attend: she was EBF at the time, and even if we had been able to find childcare, it would have been yet another expense at a time in our lives when we had to budget pretty carefully.

I find it extraordinarily disturbing that people think weddings is a place for children.
I find it very strange that you feel like that. I'm not exactly ancient, but when I was a kid it was entirely normal for children to go to weddings. You learned to sit quietly in church during the service (plenty of chance to fidget when everyone got up and down to sing or pray or whatever, plenty to look at, bride's dress, bridesmaids, hats...) and when it got to the 'lewd speeches', if you were under about 10 you didn't understand the joke and if you were over about ten you were probably with the other kids scrounging leftover desserts and chocolates and exploring the corridors and grounds of whatever hotel the reception was held in. I've not been to a wedding for a few years now, but the last one I went to had loads of DC present.

mathanxiety · 08/05/2021 18:32

You sound rather naive if you've never been to a wedding where at least one lewd reference is made. Best Man's speeches are infamous for that, alone.
Or maybe I have friends and family whose sense of humour is different from the sort you are used to.

A home, whether owned by one person or a couple, is about a 'family foundation',
No it's not. It's a roof over your head and four walls all around which you call home. You own it outright, or pay a mortgage for it, instead of renting (which many, many people do too, and rented homes are no less homes).

(and really that's only just 2 people, no guarantee of a 'family' ie children)
It's two people, each from their own family, and the families are connected by means of the wedding of the two individuals, whether the two people have children or not.

LegoPoliceman · 08/05/2021 18:33

I think my siblings and I went along to most of the weddings my parents did. Either relatives or close family friends. It would have been a bit odd to go to the wedding of a friend of theirs who'd only met us a couple of times, if at all. Confused

I remember spending quite a lot of them sat outside a pub with other children, with a coke and a bag of crisps. It was enjoyable enough but I'm not sure it was really the "educational social experience" or "bringing together of families" or whatever other bollocks has been spouted on here.

It's entirely up to the bride and groom. I've been to weddings with children which have been lovely and I've been to some where the presence of children would have been wholly inappropriate.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 08/05/2021 18:35

Takes a village an' all that

Untill you suggest to the parents make them behave. Suddenly not villagers' business 😁

SunshineSuxx · 08/05/2021 18:38

I have no issue with people wanting a child free wedding.

However what really pisses me off is bending over backwards to find childcare for a day at the weekend and then getting there to find a select view children have been included. It makes you feel that your DC aren't wanted, regardless of the reasons why.

And equally, evening parties are frequently ruined by overtired screaming children running round a dance floor.

We went to a wedding once where the B & G had paid for children's entertainers/childcare and all the kids went off into another room at 7pm. It was really nice, and a very happy compromise.

AssvogelA · 08/05/2021 18:39

That's not a compromise!

PurpleDaisies · 08/05/2021 18:43

We went to a wedding once where the B & G had paid for children's entertainers/childcare and all the kids went off into another room at 7pm. It was really nice, and a very happy compromise.

How is that a compromise? The children still need to be there for the service, the speeches, the meal...

Chillychangchoo · 08/05/2021 18:44

Very unreasonable. The best wedding we ever went too was a child free one!!

Porthesia · 08/05/2021 18:47

I specified no children at my wedding and someone still brought their child with them. I admit he was no problem, was about 11 but I feel other people who hadn't brought theirs as asked not to were somewhat peeved. Fortunately it was a carvery but we ended up paying for someone who hadn't been included in the numbers

Sparklingbrook · 08/05/2021 18:48

I wouldn't like a wedding that has children's entertainers (sounds noisy Sad) but childcare might be a good idea would have to be way before 7pm-like just before the ceremony.

That said I would think loads of parents wouldn't want their DC to be minded by people they'd never met which is understandable.

Sparklingbrook · 08/05/2021 18:49

@Porthesia

I specified no children at my wedding and someone still brought their child with them. I admit he was no problem, was about 11 but I feel other people who hadn't brought theirs as asked not to were somewhat peeved. Fortunately it was a carvery but we ended up paying for someone who hadn't been included in the numbers
That is so cheeky. Did you ever discuss why they did it? Angry
SchrodingersImmigrant · 08/05/2021 18:51

@Porthesia

I specified no children at my wedding and someone still brought their child with them. I admit he was no problem, was about 11 but I feel other people who hadn't brought theirs as asked not to were somewhat peeved. Fortunately it was a carvery but we ended up paying for someone who hadn't been included in the numbers
I would send them away. I don't tolerate rude and disobedience 😁 Hence me being childfree😂

I think it's super cfuckery to do this and I wouldn't be happy with my close friends or a family doing this

Porthesia · 08/05/2021 18:52

They said they couldn't find someone to look after him. DH side of the family, I didn't know them so let it go

Sparklingbrook · 08/05/2021 18:54

@Porthesia

They said they couldn't find someone to look after him. DH side of the family, I didn't know them so let it go
Do you ever see them now? I bet he wasn't that thrilled to be going to a wedding at 11 years old!
Porthesia · 08/05/2021 18:57

To be honest I can't even remember who they were, it's over 30 years ago but as you can tell I'm still a bit miffed about it even though I didn't do anything. The first I knew they were sitting at their table!

Sparklingbrook · 08/05/2021 19:00

@Porthesia

To be honest I can't even remember who they were, it's over 30 years ago but as you can tell I'm still a bit miffed about it even though I didn't do anything. The first I knew they were sitting at their table!
I'd be miffed too it would have looked like favouritism or something to the other guests. Uninvited boy now 41. Grin
therocinante · 08/05/2021 19:03

@mathanxiety

The number of people who can't get their heads around the fact that for some us children do not equal joy is astounding.

This is because it is an astonishing and problematic attitude that you really only find shouted from the rooftops in the UK.

What the hell are you on about - why is not finding joy in other people's children 'problematic'? Hahaha
StoneofDestiny · 08/05/2021 19:10

I wouldn't expect my adult friends to go join in Wacky Warehouse events with my children. I wouldn't expect them to cater for and entertain my kids at a wedding.

Sparklingbrook · 08/05/2021 19:19

@StoneofDestiny

I wouldn't expect my adult friends to go join in Wacky Warehouse events with my children. I wouldn't expect them to cater for and entertain my kids at a wedding.
How about a wedding at^^ the Wacky Warehouse? Grin How full of joy would that be?
DragonMuff · 08/05/2021 19:20

@mathanxiety

It's two people, each from their own family, and the families are connected by means of the wedding of the two individuals, whether the two people have children or not

Right so that covers family children. Why does it mean that you have to invite the children of your mate from uni who you have never met?

KaleSlayer · 08/05/2021 19:22

The best weddings we’ve been to have included children. The bride and groom have tended to be more chilled out about the whole day and they've just have a nicer feel.
A couple of the child free ones we’ve been to have definitely had bridezillas. They wouldn’t have liked any children taking any attention off them. 😬 Others have been ok.

Saying that, for young kids, weddings can be boring. It’s up to the bride and groom how they do things, you can’t always just not attend. In fact saying you can’t get anyone to look after the kids when they were younger was a great excuse to avoid some people’s weddings when they were child free.

KaleSlayer · 08/05/2021 19:23

*you CAN always just not attend.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 08/05/2021 19:25

I wonder if workplace makes difference.
I worked in hospitality, so did most of my friends. Neither of us had kids at weddings.
We saw enough of how that works out at work😂😂😂

Just want to add that all were chilled with great party atmosphere. No bridezillas...