Child free weddings are for megalomaniacs

[DrunkPosting]

Unless you are consummating the marriage during the ceremony, then it isn’t an adults only type of event

We invited all friends and family to bring their children.

A wedding is a family event and children are very much part of that. We organised a separate area with games and activities, but there was no obligation for them to stay there.

It never crossed our minds to have a child free wedding. Loved having them all there and hope they had a fun day.

A wedding is a family event and children are very much part of that.

How many children did you have at your wedding?
It really gets ridiculous if you marry later and your friends and family have all had children.

Isn’t your own wedding pretty much whatever you want to be? Why does is automatically have to be a family thing?

I had a child free wedding. Funnily enough we still didn’t consummate the marriage in front of the guests! 😂🤣

I didn’t want the screaming during the ceremony and I didn’t want 20 odd bloody high chairs and buggy’s strewn around the place. I love children and babies, I really do but they sure know how to spoil a party!

I love a good wedding and even if they are invited don't take them! I want to socialise with adults not listen to whining bored kids - other people's and my own. All the best weddings I have been to have been child free including my own

A wedding is a family event and children are very much part of that

Depends on your family. Mine are pretty toxic and so are my husbands. We're it family people anyway and never understood why people choose random people who share a bit of DNA above people you choose to have in your life. Apart from a couple of exceptions my family are dull, stupid, racist, bigoted arseholes who think that because they have money and titles (that were given to them for licking the arses of royalty) they are more superior to others. Why would I want to spend time in that company?

I think not wanting any children at the wedding at all, so no nieces/nephews, younger cousins etc. is a bit OTT, but I don't think every guest that is a parent should expect their children to be invited.
It amazes me the amount of people on Mumsnet who seem to get offended if their children aren't invited, when chances are the bride/groom have never even met them, never mind want to pay for them to be included in their wedding.

I kind of agree but i do wish people would distinguish between children and babies. I hadni problem leaving DCs behind when they were older, but it's not do easy with babies. I once had to miss a good friend's wedding because DS was under a year old, wedding was miles away requiring overnight stay. I just wasn't ready to spend a full day and night away from DS in a different county. We had our children young, so most of our friends were childless and just didn't get it. So child free weddings = fine, but let guests bring their babies

We had our children young, so most of our friends were childless and just didn't get it

This issue does not divide down child free vs parents. People without children aren’t clueless. Some people just make different choices.

If you’re going to post a grenade at least make it original and not boring af @DrunkPosting do better, or fuck off to another site. 🥱

It’s one of those things if you have lots of available free childcare going to a wedding without your kids is fine.
If you don’t have childcare it can be a total nightmare, difficult and hugely expensive. Especially if it’s not local.
If I wanted to pay hundreds of pounds out in childcare I can think of better things to do than go to a wedding also.

It’s funny. In my youth I remember people complaining about children coming to their wedding (I’ve never been to a wedding where they have been an issue). Strangely when they have their own children they then complain their own children aren’t invited to weddings.

@MikeWozniaksGloriousTache

If you’re going to post a grenade at least make it original and not boring af *@DrunkPosting* do better, or fuck off to another site. 🥱

And yet it bothered you enough to post. You could have just laughed and scrolled on. Being that easily stressed and annoyed is not good for your health. It's just someone's opinion about weddings, she didn't threaten to destroy the world.

People can have kids at their weddings if they want. I just personally won't. Maybe if it was cheaper like back a few decades ago, sure. But now where essentially just a big party could cost me 15k, you can damn well bet I don't want kids spoiling that because their parents are too drunk to give a shit. Would rather make it smaller, cheaper and have no kids there at all.

I don't think your opinion will be popular but I agree with you

Personally, I think that well behaved children bring a lot of joy to weddings. Not all children are well behaved though! We had a few family children at our wedding but I was glad that most of my friends hadn't started procreating back then.....I wouldn't have invited their kids to our wedding.

@DrunkPosting I agree, but I know many people on MN disagree.

I have always been to weddings where children are invited, and have only been invited to two (out of 30-odd I have been invited to in my lifetime) where children were excluded. I didn't go to those 2.

I just don't really want much to do with people who exclude children from weddings.

@HappyDaysToCome

The venue takes 100. That’s 50 my side 50 DH’s.

If I invite couples that’s 25 people from my side plus their partners.

If they all bring 2 children that’s 12.5 people I can invite plus their families.

So out of 100 people attending I can only invite 12.5 of my closest family and friends.

Shall I pick which children I actually know/like? Or just say no to all children as that’s more fair.

I didn’t have a childless wedding, but it was a bit tricky on the numbers as I was late getting married so all my friends, cousins etc already had children. Luckily, enough people chose not to bring their children, and I loved the company of those children who did come along. But I wouldn’t be offended if someone else chose a child free wedding.

That's the point I was going to make.

I got married before any of my peers had children. We had a total of five children we could invite-and 4 of them were bridesmaids and the fifth was a babe in arms-all my cousins. So we had around 100 adults and 5 children.
If I got married now and invited the same people there would be over 50 children (half just from family!) and the venue wouldn't have taken that many so we couldn't invite as many adults either.

My friend who got married 10 years later had the situation that if he invited all the children from the families there were actually going to be as many children as adults, if not more. They didn't have a child free wedding, but they asked that if possible, other than family, we didn't bring children, but let them know if we had no one to leave them with. Most people left at least some of their children behind.
Him and his wife love (and are very good with) children so it wasn't a dislike of children so much as a necessity of space.

Parents who think we love their kids are megalomaniacs

(NB lighthearted - I had kids at my wedding!)

Mother of four here, and after a year of lockdown parenting with homeschooling and wfh as a single parent, I would bloody love to go to a child free wedding this year. A chance to celebrate something joyful, get dressed up, and have a day/evening off from parenting and not have to listen to anyone else’s over excited or overtired children crying, bliss!!
I love children, but sometimes it’s nice to have an occasion where it’s adults only

We didn't have children to the wedding day, simply because it would've cost too much and we already had to be very picky about guests due to our budget.
The evening was a different story and quite a few of our friends had their children dropped off or went to get them to come and party.

Unfortunately one close friend was so upset at not having her child invited to the actual ceremony that she never spoke to me again. A long friendship ended as I didn't make an exception for her child. No difficulty for her to get babysitter btw she just wanted her child there at the wedding.

YABVU.

I went to a wedding where children of close friends & family were invited & one child ran down the aisle as the bride was walking down & wouldn’t move which I know ruined the moment completely for them.

And then during the speeches another small child got down from the table and ran around screaming with a butter knife in his hand..

A few people tried to stop him but didn’t manage and nobody took him out so the speeches were ruined too.

Not all children are predictable or perfect OP. Why would I want something like that to happen at my wedding?

Nope, I dislike kids. My husband and I were the ones paying and we didn't want to spend money or take up valuable spaces for little people that we didn't want there and could potentially ruin the day

I honestly find weddings more and more joyless. My low point was when I was invited to the church, asked to go home for the wedding breakfast then invited back to the reception in the evening. She had no children, not even her niece and nephew...just 10 to the wedding breakfast because she couldn't afford anymore at the Uber fancy wedding venue. Her dress cost thousands but close family members and friends weren't welcome. I went along but honestly, I've never been as friendly with her since. Our values are just too different. I could never prioritise a nice room over the feelings of my guests. I had 150 to mine, compromised in other areas like fancy cars and flowers. Kids totally welcome and I don't recall any bad behaviour...only by drunk adults later on! It's supposed to be the bringing together of two families, not a way to show off!

I much prefer to see and hear children at weddings. It’s supposed to be about love and families and joy.

@Happymum12345

I much prefer to see and hear children at weddings. It’s supposed to be about love and families and joy.

You can have love and families and joy without hearing children. I find my joy is much increased by not hearing crying children.

YABU. A wedding should be how the bride and groom want it, so if they want it childfree, good for them.

Our wedding was childfree and I’d 100% have it that way again. Our guests with children managed to find childcare but if they hadn’t I wouldn’t have made any exceptions, not even for breastfed newborns.

Weddings are not appropriate for children.

My wedding was child free because our whole family are all adults, none of my cousins have children yet (I'm the eldest grandchild so that lil responsibility will probably fall to me!) and my husband's cousins and our few friends with kids expressly asked if they will be getting a 'night off from the kids' 😂

Also, would maybe be illegal if I kidnapped a child just to bring to the wedding to make it 'better' for other people??

I'm a Christian, my wedding took place in the church where my aunts, uncles, parents and grandparents were either married or are now buried, and I was christened there. I therefore also wanted to be able to hear the vicar properly and for my husband and I to hear each other say our vows without competing over someone else's child who may/may not have been removed from the church if they kicked up a fuss-which has unfortunately happened at all the weddings I've been to 🤦🏻‍♀️