To want to shout F off to men perving over my teenage daughter

[Tuesdaysintheazores]

Literally on a walk to the shops, the amount who openly stare and gawp, I'm talking men in their 30s ish and older not teenagers. Gives me the rage

It is disgusting. I can quite clearly remember men staring at me and my sister as a young teen and I wasn't an early developer.

Older men go after very young women, to feel young, and to feel better about themselves. So the men that feel worst about themselves will go after the very young girls.

That is why you will always get old disgusting men perving over young girls.

It is never the young men in their twenties.

This thread is upsetting, depressing and unsurprising all at the same time. Yes it happened to me frequently as a teen and now it will happen to my dd. It’s not an unusual occurrence is it? It’s not a tiny proportion of girls it happens to, it’s all of us. And seemingly it’s not just a tiny minority of men doing it (as you’d hope). It’s just..... normal, which is fucking awful and unacceptable.

This.

It's actually been one of the silver linings of the pandemic for me - delaying this shit for DD1.

@janeapple111

Men like young girls, because they like the power balance over them.

Paedophilia is rife.

I completely agree with your sentiment, but I got in to an argument with someone on here, not so long back about about the definition of the term peadophile.

Apparently when they get to 12/13 a guy that is attracted to girls this age isn’t technically a peadophile. I had to Google it and there is a different name but I can’t remember.

Just in case someone comes on and starts moaning about not using the term in the correct way, which is what they did with me.

They’re all bludy nonsess! It’s disgusting regardless of the definition!

How can WE make things better for women in the next generation. That is what I always think, because it is not men who are going to change things, they are quite happy having power over women.

If women were more united with each other, we could start great change for women.

For example, I would like to start a campaign to help protect women from sexual harassment and violence in the UK, but I am too afraid to, because I think that other women will laugh at my ideas.

It is horrible. I've noticed my DDs walkaround with hoodies on if they are by themselves so that they don't get harassed. One of my DC avoids pubs because of the leery old men. It's outrageous that some men think it's acceptable behaviour.

It's disgusting to think that tthese pervy men have wives and kids themselves.
Maybe half of the women on here are married to pervs, guess you'd never know.

When I was 13 I went for a meal at an Italian restaurant for my friend’s birthday. The waiters were all lecherous pervs and one of them asked for my number (he must have been in his 30s).
Vile!

@Y0YO

I had this regularly from the age of about 12, it made me super self conscious.

Grown men leering and making sexual comments.

I clearly remember the shock and confusion and how it changed the way I moved through the world - and not in a good way.

Best part of getting old and fat means I don't get any bother these days which I'm very happy about (but sad for those still having to put up with it).

'I clearly remember the shock and confusion and how it changed the way I moved through the world - and not in a good way.'

^This.

This is why I get so infuriated when people try to argue that there are normal, decent men who make up the majority, and then a tiny number of evil sexual predators who commit all the sexual offences. This allows men as a whole to distance themselves from this behaviour - oh those men are evil predators, a decent normal man wouldn’t do that.

Yet for these experiences to be so universal, then it’s an awful lot of men isn’t it?

Or maybe those arguing this don’t think that this is that big a deal really. Just harmless - as one poster said, how can they know they’re young without looking? Here’s an idea - stop fucking looking at women like that, full stop.

This used to happen to me. A bloke once crashed his van into the back of a car gawping at me when I was 14. Karma.

The male gaze has lessened with age and becoming a mother, and quite honestly it’s a relief.

It’s appalling that they do it at all, but to do it so openly with no shame is just so gross and alarming. I can’t imagine behaving like that.

I’d like to think things will have changed by the time my daughter is older, but I very much doubt it.

How can WE make things better for women in the next generation. That is what I always think, because it is not men who are going to change things, they are quite happy having power over women.

We can challenge predatory behaviour and normalise calling perverts out on their disgusting behaviour.

Creeps. Can we take their photo and upload it some place?

I honestly think that there should be a country where only women are allowed.

Well, there's a country/state/peninsula/whatever for MEN only (Mount Athos in Greece), where other men not of that community are allowed to go for respite but in which no woman is allowed to set foot.

Qu'el surprise, eh?

It is disgusting but so far the only solution seems to be encouraging our girls to scream '' fuck off!!' at these men. Because the ADULT MEN do not appear to be learning, and the police and society in general don't seem to care enough to want to change this.

NAMALT? Bullshit

because it is not men who are going to change things

^^

Nope. We still have the same problem as we always have

I would love it if the feminist board was full of this. It's what I see as really important and needs to change.

Harassment
Porn
Sexualisation of children

I think real change needs to happen. I wish the feminists saw this as important as bloody trans

Here’s an idea - stop fucking looking at women like that, full stop.

It's not me that you need to convince.

I experience this with my DD. I find it depressing that nothing has changed for women 30 odd years after I went through it.

Almost everyone on this thread has said they've experienced this from age 11/12/13 onwards, multiple times in multiple places by multiple men throughout their lives.

So unless just a few bad apples are travelling through space and time, it's a problem with the behaviour of a huge number of men and we SHOULD be shouting about.

We should be making a fucking fuss, it's unreal a fellow woman would come onto a thread like this and say well it's not worth shouting about... of course it fucking is!

I'm proud of the people who make a fuss, they are the change makers.

@DeadlyMedally

Men are going to look at physically mature, attractive "women". Surely they'd have to look to decide that she's too young to be looked at? Shouting at them might help, but you'd probably just end up with a sore throat and men still perving.

And when the child is in school uniform (so obviously a minor) and the perv continues to gawp at her legs?

I honestly think that this perving of teenage girls is not universal!

I do remember it happening to me all the time in the UK in the 1980's.However, I have a teen age DD in Toronto Canada, and honestly I don't think that it is something she experiences. She even went to a school with a uniform like something out of Japanese hentai (and school uniforms are unusual here anyway) and she travelled on public transit on her own and never had an issue.

Its not utopia here - there are individuals who are suffering mental health and drug issues who behave inappropriately on the streets, but that is directed to everyone and no-one and not pervy behaviour by grown men who are totally capable of inhibiting their inappropriate behaviour.

The blokes who do this shit just need to stop. Wolf whistling isn't done here either.

Yanbu

I've caught an old perv and yes I'm calling him an old perv because he was old and dd1 was about 10 so I'd say that's the very definition of an old perv, looking her up and down then smirking. I have him the filthiest look you could imagine.

Can we also add stroking too. Fuck off stroking hair and arms of children you don't know amd calling them your.little friend/girlfriend. They don't want touching by strange men.

Restraunt staff that applies to you.

@yorkterrier why not start some threads if you want some discussions to happen on those topics?

Hebephiles - that's the term for these entitled shits.

They see the innocence, the naivety, the emotional/intellectual/age/experience imbalance that makes them feel superior, and they think that it's there for them.

They seem to think that these girls should be flattered by their attentions. Some seem to think that because they feel attraction to a girl, they should be allowed to help themselves to her in whatever way they want.

Makes my blood boil. And yes, it isn't the odd creep - it's totally normal.