To ask if you personally judge people who dress alternatively?

[getyourfreakon]

As per the thread title.
Yes, Coronation Street has highlighted the issue. I'm what would be referred to as a "goth". I'm also a mother of one.
What are your feelings on the subject?

Ahh no, it makes me smile. I saw a young man with bright green hair the other day and I wanted to smile at him but thought it would be weird so just smiled once he’d passed by. I dressed like that when I was a teen and it brought back fond memories.

I admire people who dress differently with an eccentric personal style. I'm not sure Goth is that, but I wouldn't judge a teenager finding his way based on his appearance.

@Wearywithteens Sorry that is rubbish. Dressing alt or goth isn't anything to do with a hard life or insecurities. They are just people same as everyone, some have it hard, some don't. Although its nice that you are nice I suppose.

@BackforGood You would think that dressing in an 'different' way is a marker of confidence but it really isn't. It may seem counterintuitive but many people who dress alternative (mainly when younger) are expressing the way they feel they don't fit in, through their dress. They know they might get negative reactions but I wouldn't say they accept that or aren't scared of that. It's just important to dress how you feel. Also, again mainly when younger, it can be about expressing what music and style you are into. I was a goth rocker from 13 onwards and was the most unconfident, sensitive thing. I've met 100s of alternative folks through the years and most of them weren't just super confident. Mainly we just want to look how we look and be left alone. Doesn't make a lot of sense but there it is.

Nope. In high school all my friends were moshers and goths.
I dressed entirely differently to them. We were an odd bunch but I'm autistic and dress for comfort.
I wear what I want, others wear what they want.

Also my MIL still thinks I’m a goth because I mostly wear black, wear red lipstick and have tattoos . I’m not anymore, I’m really boring now sadly. I prefer to see people dressed like that to the endless tracksuit wearers tbh.

Well the Op asked the question and I was honest. But it's not really judging in a negative way. I couldn't care less what people wear, but if you push for what clothes might make people think, then you may not like the answer. If someone was wearing a designer suit with expensive accessories and drove a porche, I would presume they had a good job and money. I would be happy to be friends with anyone, no matter what they wear or how much money that have or don't have. Indeed, I have friends on the breadline and friends who are very wealthy. But it's silly to pretend that people don't make assumptions about you, based on how you present - of course they do.

Yes, internally.

It's the same judgement as for anyone that puts a huge amount of effort into presenting a certain facade at all times though.

It's a bit try hard and ime likely that they're either an ego maniac with a very high opinion of themselves or they're hiding behind a mask with mid-severe self esteem problems. In short, they're trying to prove something.

I just find it a bit tiresome to be honest, whether the look is goth, Miami barbie or anything in between.

To be so obsessed with your look/looks is just...boring.

@Bluedeblue

Well the Op asked the question and I was honest. But it's not really judging in a negative way. I couldn't care less what people wear, but if you push for what clothes might make people think, then you may not like the answer. If someone was wearing a designer suit with expensive accessories and drove a porche, I would presume they had a good job and money. I would be happy to be friends with anyone, no matter what they wear or how much money that have or don't have. Indeed, I have friends on the breadline and friends who are very wealthy. But it's silly to pretend that people don't make assumptions about you, based on how you present - of course they do.

Do you walk around town thinking ‘ooooh look at what they are wearing I bet they are unemployed’ ‘oooh she’s got a nice handbag I bet she’s minted’?

@PopsicleHustler

People judge me constantly and laugh and sneer and make ridiculous comments. Because I am a white muslim. I do wear the hijab and a long dress. Its part of who I am and I would never change. ...

@PopsicleHustler

Good for you, and keep going!

@motherloaded

I would probably assume that someone dressed as a Goth was unemployed or didn't have a very good job. I mean, you just never see someone in a high level job or Executive role dressed like this, do you?

true 🤷

Oh dear. I hope this post is a joke.

@Bluedeblue

Actually, I would probably assume that someone dressed as a Goth was unemployed or didn't have a very good job. I mean, you just never see someone in a high level job or Executive role dressed like this, do you? Ergo, I'd assume they didn't have much money.

What a dickish comment

I don't judge, people wear what they want.

I tend to wear a mix of biker style, hippy, and maybe the odd alternative item. I find this comfortable, that's all.

@MedusasBadHairDay

With the whole "you don't see execs who are goth" thing, I'd imagine goths in those roles dress differently at work. Like pretty much everyone else.

Quite ,when I was a mental health nurse ,there were absolutely staff that preferred,Goth style , alternative etc ,but there was a uniform policy which we all had to conform to.

I have no judgement at all of people who dress alternatively or specifically “goth” - I work in the arts.
But I am put off by those who are always scowling / frowning. It’s very off putting and unfriendly and I assume it’s deliberate and they want people to keep a distance and not make eye contact etc.

I judge people who dress scruffily, but not really alternatively

this is me. I just couldn’t give a fuck, as long as I’m comfy.

What is it that goth is expressing?

For me, i struggled as a teen - i had a mother who thought she was “classic fashionable” who bought me clothes from m&s, house of fraser etc, and thought chelsea girl, etam and the like were cheap and nasty.

Meant I was the frumpy kid in the on the knee skirt when mid-thigh was the trend, in the patterned top when stripy was in, high waisted jeans when levi’s were the thing etc. I never got the chance to develop my own sense of style so always got it slightly wrong.

When I got to sixth form I saw a kid in a black t-shirt and jeans. Fucking revelation. No worrying about matching colours, getting style wrong. To me it was easy, comfortable “fashion”.

So i got a job and bought black jeans, long black skirts, dm’s and band t-shirts. No brainer. No having to troll round all the shops trying to work out what was “in”.

I never went full on with the make up and what not- i was pale skinned anyway so a bit of eyeliner and dark eyeshadow was enough. I found I liked the music and the people more than the dance and rave scene which was more about drugs.

If you dress to make a statement, you can't be surprised that people notice and possibly judge. You don't have to care, but if you wanted to be invisible, you could.

No I like it. I always had a really mixed dress sense when I was younger. Now I'm rarely out of jeans and a jumper but oddly enough yesterday was thinking yesterday that I'd love a pair of biker boots again. DD10 has a studded pair and I love them.

Actually, I would probably assume that someone dressed as a Goth was unemployed or didn't have a very good job. I mean, you just never see someone in a high level job or Executive role dressed like this, do you? Ergo, I'd assume they didn't have much money.

If you are referring to high level corporate jobs then no, you don't see it, because everyone is usually wearing standard business attire. I doubt that they continue to wear business attire over the weekend, and on family holidays to Disneyland with the kids... they will wear whatever they feel most comfortable in.

@motherloaded

If you dress to make a statement, you can't be surprised that people notice and possibly judge. You don't have to care, but if you wanted to be invisible, you could.

Why assume it's to make a statement?

My sister has a very good job, has managed departments, and dresses in an alternative way. I think she was pretty much born a Goth.

If people judge me on the way my hair is cut (partially shaved, stylishly badger grey) or how I'm dressed (fall into a wardrobe and emerge wearing stuff) then they are the ones lacking any class.

I wouldn't judge them. But honestly I wouldn't go out of my way to know them better just because they dress "alternatively" just as I wouldn't go out of my way to know someone just because they dressed "normally".

@SelkieFly

What is it that goth is expressing?

I was a goth in my youth in the 80’s when goth was a thing. I didn’t fit in. I was depressed. For me it was finding a tribe that wasn’t the mass tribe everyone else seemed to belong to or want to belong to. The friends and boyfriend, who dumped me belonged to that mainstream tribe. As did the me before, or at least the me, who wanted fit in.

So for me, goth is rejection of the mainstream. It doesn’t mean all so speshul. It’s an alternative way of dressing, being and a different tribe. I didn’t last long in it. A couple of years. I felt I didn’t fit in there either.

Let's not be hypocrites. I don't dress alternatively at all, but I am not invisible either. I am sure I am being judged. I don't care, but I have witnessed enough comments about women dressing similar to know I am probably a target sometimes.

Unless you make yourself as invisible as you can (and you might end up being judged for being scruffy or something), everybody gets judged.

That's why I love London, you get less judgement and a lot more freedom. Smaller places, not so much.

Alternative style probably fits better in Brighton than many other places too.

I wouldn't judge goths, no. I'd view them in the same way as I'd view anyone who had a look that was fashionable some time ago - as someone who'd found their look and stuck with it because they like it (says the woman who's had the same haircut for about 25 years). But I do judge women with tattoos on their hands or chests, for example, or faces pumped full of plastic. It looks awful and just seems so pointless to ruin your looks like that.